The Cardinal

The Cardinal

By Nora Sheppard

Kay sat watching the Destination board at Union Station. She rarely traveled by train, so she was excited to do so on this trip. She had visited her son, Ben, in Washington, D.C. and was taking a side trip to visit her Aunt Nettie in Newark. Nettie was the only older relative left in the family, following the death of Kay's mother the prior winter. It had been years since Kay visited Nettie; she didn't make it to the area often. She spent most of her time in Atlanta with her husband, Sean; that is, until Ben moved to D.C.

The gate still wasn't listed for Kay's train, which was now delayed 20 minutes. Kay looked down and was surprised that a cardinal had landed about three feet away. How had he gotten in? By the time Kay reached for her phone to take a photo, he had flown away. The terminal was getting more crowded. Kay saw that her gate was now posted.

She walked about 30 yards to her gate. A line of bored train travelers had already formed. The train was scheduled to arrive in Newark at 5 p.m.

The cardinal--or maybe it was a different cardinal--landed again, this time about six feet from Kay. She quickly took a photo and texted it to Sean. "Photo in Union Station," she wrote. "I guess he'd rather take the train than fly."

Finally, the train boarded. Kay was happy to find a window seat. She loved watching the cities and towns go by. The Lyft driver who drove her to Union Station was playing ‘60s hits on the radio. Now To Love Somebody, sung by Janis Joplin, was stuck in her head. But did Janis write that song? A quick Google check showed that the song was written by Barry and Robin Gibb; the song was a big hit by the Bee Gees.

Kay sighed as she traveled away from D.C. and Ben. She missed him already. They had a good time during her four-day visit. She enjoyed meeting his friends. She always told him she was fine with him living far away, as long as he lived in a good tourist destination.

An announcement came on; the train was approaching Baltimore.

Kay suddenly felt her body rush forward involuntarily. She heard an ear-splitting crash of metal.

The light was brilliantly bright in the tunnel.

“There's a light

A certain kind of light

That never shone on me.”

Kay was moving but not walking. She floated from the tunnel into a large, open cloud-like area. Human-like figures moved in the distance. Kay was confused but not fearful. This was home, just not a familiar home.

Kay looked down and saw a group of small figures gathering at her feet. They weren't the human-like figures, and Kay suddenly realized, with elation, that they were all the dogs and cats she had lost in her life. She saw her dogs Ponto, Dopey, Teddy, and Beau. A larger contingent of cats drew near. Among them were Thomasina, Bobby, Tiger, Alice, and Lucy. Kay laughed and leaned down to pet each eager head. Their eyes were bright, and they were strong; they were not much older than puppies and kittens.

Kay stood after greeting the pets. Straight ahead of her, a number of the human forms were assembled. One of them approached her. Kay stifled a sob as she recognized the being as her mother, yet she wasn't her human mother.

Kay reached out to hold her mother, and her mother hugged back. This being resembled the Mom of Kay's teens--50 years old, the rock of the family. This woman had already been widowed and divorced; she had strength of steel as she worked hard to raise three children on her own. Their home was filled with warmth and love. This wasn't Kay’s 94-year-old mom in a memory care facility. "Mom, oh Mom. I miss you so much," cried Kay.

Her mother's voice filled her ears. "I know you do, sweetie, but you must know that I'm with you all the time."

Kay couldn't stop gazing at her mother's eyes. They were sparkling and younger than Kay's eyes.

"All the moments when you have missed me the most are the times I was sitting right next to you," her mother continued.

When the tears cleared from Kay's eyes, she became aware of the human-like figures behind her mother. Her grandparents, her uncles and aunts, and old friends who passed away much too young gathered near to welcome her. Kay reached out but couldn't quite grasp them.

"I missed you so much, Mina and Popi. Have you seen the great-grandkids?"

Kay's mother spoke. "They can't speak to you, Kay--not yet. You know how you always said that Mina and Popi helped pick out the grandkids? You were right; they did. All those years, they were watching over us, and now I'm watching over all of you."

"Mom, I wish I could have done more to help you--those last years, you know," Kay uttered. "We all did the best we could."

"I know, dear. You did as much as any daughter could. And you know those times when I didn't recognize you? I really did; I just couldn't express it. You need to know that I'm very happy now. I want you to be happy, too."

"The last night, the night you died. I was in denial, Mom. I didn’t think it was time,” Kay teared up again. "I went home, but I should have stayed."

"I waited to go when I was alone; I didn't want you to see me go."

Kay felt such joy as she gazed at her loved ones. "I'm so happy I'm with you all. I want to stay."

"We'll see, little dear," her mother replied.

Kay’s pets and loved ones suddenly started moving away, vanishing in the white light.

"No, I want to stay here with you. I love you so much, Mom. Don't send me away."

Kay's mother was suddenly a young woman, a girl Kay only knew from dozens of family photos. She smiled at Kay. "I guess it's not your time after all. Kiss my grandson for me."

Kay’s eyes were filled with the bright light. She heard a strange voice. "I think she's back."

A cardinal flew over the room before disappearing. Kay tried to point at it and speak, but maybe she was dreaming.

"Her blood pressure is coming up; her vital signs are good."

The room was spinning as doctors and nurses hovered over her. Kay became aware that she was in a hospital before she drifted into a deep sleep.

Over the following days, Sean, Ben, and a number of family members and friends kept vigil at Kay’s bedside. She learned about the horrific train derailment. She was one of the lucky ones; 192 passengers perished while 40 survived. She was left with a cardiac contusion, a severe concussion, and a broken ankle.

Kay healed rapidly; she was soon back on her feet with the help of a crutch. She and Sean even finally made it to Newark to see Aunt Nettie.

She remembered nothing of the day of the crash after boarding the train. Her dreams, however, were quite vivid. Hundreds of cardinals flew all around her and carried her up in the sky. She would see her mother in all of her different decades; she was filled with happiness and warmth in her mom’s embrace.  

“In my brain

I see your face again.”

Just before the end of the dream, her mother would smile and say, "Kiss my grandson for me.” A lone cardinal would fly away.

When a cardinal appears

there’s no need to fear.

A visit from a cardinal

may mean angels are near.

The End