The Wrong Way Down

“I’m late, I’m very late for an important date!”

“Oh, excuse me?!”

“Cannot talk now, sorry!”

“Wait, please! I was hoping you could tell me where I am exactly.”

“Miss, I really cannot. My clock tells me I am late, late for an extremely, extremely important date. And I am not stopping. No way!”

“Well slow down a moment so I can keep up.”

“Can’t slow down, you keep up!”

“My goodness, I’ve never seen a talking rabbit before. Are there others like you here?”

“Oh there’s many mysterious, wild creatures and games down here. And I’m on my way out.

“My, really?”

“Precisely. And you should get out too. Right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re in Wonderland, my dearest. But there is nothing wonderful here. You’ve fallen into a hole right?

“I suppose. It was a mighty long way down, but-”

“You are in hell.”

“W-what do you mean?”

“You heard me. If you stop running you will be dragged to the tea party where awful things will happen to you. She shows no mercy.”

“Who are you talking about?”

“She will show you NO mercy!”

“Who?”

“Well, so I’ve heard. I’ve never met her, but the inscriptions on the walls -”

“Inscriptions?”

“From what I’ve read, you don’t want her to find you. She’s the Red Queen of Hearts. The second I found out, I started running. May I ask, what was the date when you fell in?

“The date? If my memory serves me I believe it is January 15th, 1951- “

“Oh my!!! You must be lying! You have to be!”

“No, I do not think so.”

“I’ve been trying to escape this for 1,576 hours….that’s…that’s precisely 65 days?!?!”

“You’ve been running that long?”

“I’m doomed! We’re never getting out. We are dying here!”

“Please calm down, I’m sure that’s not true! That cannot be…”

“Well, well what do we have here?”

“Oh! Hello, geez you gave me a fright!”

“Sorry about that and could you slow down, my dear girl whose name I’ve seemed to misplace.”

“No she can not, she is with me!”

“My name is Alice.”

“And I am the Cheshire Cat. Mind if I run beside you?”

“Well hello Mr. Cheshire Cat, not at all. In fact, Mr. Rabbit and I actually need your help! We are trying to escape- “

“Sh!”

“What? Did I say something wrong- ”

“Alice, do not tell him where we are going. Do not even keep speaking to him! This cat is no good. He is known as the ‘Trickster Cat.’ He’s trying to trap you!’”

“Alice…look at me.”

“You stay away!!”

“ You are back to your old tricks again I see. Alice, you should be very worried. This white rabbit is nothing but a liar and a thief.”

“Don’t listen to him, Alice! He is a trap!”

“Think again.”

“A theif?....No…No, I don’t believe you! The rabbit is perfectly nice and kind, trying to guide me to safety. I don’t know who you are, but I don’t like you one bit. You better stay away!”

“Suit yourself, Alice, but I am trying to protect you. And besides, you never asked the white rabbit where exactly he was running to. Well, I'll tell you this right now. The exit is all the way on the West end, my dear. He is taking you East.”

“I am going East, you befuddled cat! You fool!”

“Alice, you must do as I say now. It is the rabbit who is deceiving you. He is trying to run you straight into danger.”

“I don’t know what to do…I don’t know who to trust.”

“Trust me! What would I be running for otherwise? To live, Alice. If you follow Cheshire, you will not live to see another day.“

“Nonsense!”

“It’s true, I followed him before. He led me into a dark room with a liquid in a bottle and a cookie on the table. He told me to drink them to escape. To be tiny enough to fit through the one door out of here. But when I ran into to the Queen of Hearts she told me there was no door and the only way out is West end and I simply-”

“Wait!… Did you say, The Queen of Hearts?”

“What, what do you mean, Alice? When?”

“Just now.”

“I said that I discovered there never was no door to begin with- “

“No. You said that the Queen of Hearts told you so. How would you know that if you told me just earlier that you’ve never met her. And the Cheshire…he said the West end is correct….and now so did you.”  

“See, Alice?! The rabbit lies!”

“No!”

“Yes! We just caught you.”

“Well, goddamnit then….I did lie. No point in pretending I didn’t…it’s a shame you’re too late to escape I’m afraid.”

“You let her go!”

“Nope, she will look perfect at our tea party! Just ravishing!”

“What?! What are you going to do me?”

“Once you enter the tea party, my dear, you cannot get out. You forever are at work there. Remember how I spoke about her showing no mercy?”

“Yes...”

“Well she really won’t and I would know, wouldn’t I? Haha…it feels good to finally be with the one on the other side. The inside.”

“Cheshire, how do I get out of here, I do not remember the way back! Help me please! I can’t stop running though…why can’t I stop running??”

“Frankly, I can’t help you.”

“You..you what?”

“Well my dear, you really think I’m not a part of this plan?”

“You?”

“Oh sweet Alice, the white rabbit and I have been waiting for someone like you to get down here. We desperately needed a girl like you to round out our table.”

“Help! Someone please!”

“Alice, stop screaming.”

“Why can’t I stop running? Why can’t I stop?!!”

“Because Alice, we drugged you.”

“It’s a special posion actually, that gives you the magnetism to lead you right into their arms. Or should I say her arms.”

“Nice touch, isn’t it, Alice?”

“What?! When did you drug me? Help! Oh no, please!”

“Remember when you fell asleep by that tree? I poisoned you then. And then I pushed you down the hole and jumped inside with you and waited. I waited and watched you sleep while the poison set. Then I started running about 10 minutes before I knew you’d wake. My god, you were foolish as all hell for following me. Especially a silly rabbit.”

“Never follow the White Rabbit.”

“Never, ever! Haha.”

“Well done, you mad fool.”

“You too you sly, sly cat. Anywho…you won’t stop running til you get there. That’s the “magic” down here. You feel that pull towards something? Your body is manipulating you into believing you want to make it to the ‘tea party’ promptly before it’s too late. ‘Late for an important date!’ And I guess the drugs helped a little. Ha! You don’t want to find out what happens if you don’t make it. But relax, this drug is the happy potion you need to keep it fun. Running can be monotonous. But fear not, you’ll be heading straight into the queen's arms soon. What a thrill being on this side of it is.’”

“This side of it? Her arms? What do you all mean?”

“Oh well, the cat and I were in the same spot as you once. Someone by the name Mad Hatter- not sure if you are familiar - well, he drugged us the same way and pushed us in. He grabbed us from the forest. Im sure he had help. He told us the only way to live is to either join them or be forever alone in the darkness surrounded by nothing. And I’m not too fond of being alone. Never was.”

“So terribly sorry my dear girl…but apparently not all cats have 9 lives after all. It’s very disappointing.”

“So you two are okay with never having a life again? Neither one of you, huh?!”

“Oh, we have a life. We survive off of taking others. Disposing of others lives to feed our own lonesome. This is our life now. You’ll see it for yourself soon! You’ll have the choice.”

“So thrilling it will be….Alice.”

“She’s brainwashed the both of you! Can’t you see that?”

“You’ll never make it out anyway. Isn’t that right, Cheshire? She’ll never make it out again! We stalled just enough time to take you further and further away from the exit. And every minute that passes - down here - it is a year added to how long it would take to find your way out. And I’m afraid it’s very disorienting to boot.”

“So what exactly do you want here?”

“I want you to be one of us, dear. ”

“I already am, aren’t I?”