Heavy is the Cloak

“Um… Hey, Joleena.”

“Oh! Joe! You scared me!”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to. Mind if I sit down?”

“… sure. Why wouldn’t I?”

“You realize you only call me Joe when you’re mad at me right?”

“Everyone calls you Joe.”

“Except you. You usually call me Joseph.”

“Okay then, Joseph. Joseph. Joseph. Joseph. Are you happy now?”

“I can’t be when you’re obviously not. It must be really bad if you’re smoking out here in the open like this.”

“I’m not in the open, that’s why I left. What are you doing?”

“Hey, I’m curious. You seem to think it helps. Maybe it’ll help me too.”

“I guess you don’t have to worry about your problems if choke to death on tobacco smoke.”

“You’re usually the one lecturing me about, ahem, a magician’s body is a delicate machine blah, blah, and health is paramount to strong, pure magic blah, blah, blah…”

“And you know who taught me that? My alcoholic aunt. Who hasn’t cast more than a beauty spell in years.”

“It’s nice to hear you laugh again. Maybe you should give up secret smoking and be with me all the time.”

“And what do I do when you irritate me?”

“… did I? Tonight?”

“… yes. And no. It isn’t you, not really you, or anything you did. It’s… ugh… this?”

“This as in, the ball or…”

“This as in, the whole magic society right now. I never realized just how constricting this all is.”

“It must be bad. I thought you lived in heels.”

“I’d take off this dress too if I could. Don’t look at me like that! I- I didn’t mean-”

“N-no. I, um, know what you meant. Sorry. No- please don’t light another cigarette. I’m really sorry. I really didn’t mean-”

“No. No. I know. Like I said it’s not you, really you. Like I said it’s all of magic society. It just all feels so constricting.”

“Really? I thought things were better for female magicians now. Didn’t you tell me that even female magicians couldn’t ascend to Lordship or even study more serious magic?”

“I’m still expected to marry well and mother equally powerful children. If not, I’m expected to grow even more powerful and mentor even more powerful female magicians to come after me.”

“At least people expect great things from you. Half my family doesn’t know real magic, the other half can only do sleight of hand and stage magic. Everyone here expects me to pull a rabbit out of my hat so they can laugh me out of the palace.”

“Hmph. Maybe we should have snuck a monster here. Have you use your little party tricks to save everyone. What would they have to say then?”

“They’d probably give you the credit.”

“… don’t say that…”

“I’m sorry. I guess… they’re getting to me a little. That’s all. You know, dating you can be really intimidating. Even if it is in secret.”

“Heh, thanks for that. Just when I was forgetting why I was so irritated.”

“You’re irritated because you’re tired of being amazing?”

“Don’t smirk, I’m being serious.”

“Sorry. You never told me what set you off.”

“Ugh, I was talking to the other Daughters of Magic, what else? It’s the only thing to do at these functions. I’m either supposed to talk to the girls in my station or flirt and try to find a husband. And since we aren’t supposed to be dating, it doesn’t leave me much of a choice.”

“Yeah, poor you.”

“Sorry. Don’t look at me like that. I’m only teasing.”

“So is it really that much torture to talk to other girls like you?”

“That’s just it. They’re so much like me, I always thought they were just like me. I grew up with them, we all learned the same things, learned to behave the same way. But…”

“But?”

“I just… ugh! Being with you and Fina, and even that wretched thief, made me realize that being like me, like them, is the only way to be!”

“What do you mean? Compared to you they all seem so…”

“Shallow? Vapid? Trifling?”

“I was going to say different.”

“All of it is true though. We were all raised to be shallow, vapid, trifling, powerful, strong, and everything in between!”

“… sorry. Maybe I’m not catching on. I thought girls wanted to be… you know, everything.”

“Not all at once! Oh yes, in my grandmother’s time and my great-grandmother’s time, a woman, even with powerful magic, was only expected to find a husband and help him sire powerful children. But now, we’re expected to do both! To be everything! All powerful, all womanly, all manly even! Strong magic, strong looks, strong personality. All strength and all femininity and all intelligence. It’s exhausting.”

“It sounds like it. Jeesh, no wonder why you’re always so uptight. Don’t look at me like that. I’m not joking. It does sound hard to deal with. I thought things were supposed to be easier for you guys.”

“Hardly. It’s just like in your normal world. Forgive me for saying so but your whole feminism movement is a total lie.”

“Oh come on, it’s not that bad. At least for normal girls. I mean, yeah, everything you have to go through sounds insane. But without the pressure of being a powerful magician from an elite noble family, things would probably be super easy for you in my world.”

“Ha! I’ve been living in your world. Those poor girls are all under the same illusion we are here. They may not be absolutely expected to marry and have children, but if not that they have to do the alternative. Be boss Bs or whatever you call it.”

“Which has to be a better alternative right? At least they have a choice.”

“Illusion of choice. Maybe less. We’re pressured to marry powerfully, but your girls give themselves for free. Advertise themselves for free. They give away their bodies and call it empowering. Sounds like free prostitution to me.”

“Joleena!”

“Don’t ‘Joleena’ me. You’re a guy so you don’t get it. In school, in the city, everywhere I go I’m practically ordered to look a certain way, act a certain way, be a certain way, and it's all mostly for the attention of or to surpass men. Same in the magic world. Both tell me to show off my body and aspire to power, but they just slap the words “empowering” and “owning” on it and I’m supposed to feel better about it. It’s all the same.”

“Wow. I guess I never thought of it that way. I feel like I should be apologizing for being a guy.”

“Don’t haha, I almost can’t blame you. We women are constantly built up as fantasies to aspire to gain. And even I have to admit, it’s tempting to try and be the goddess everyone expects me to be and wants to be. But sometimes, I get so tired of it all. Trying to be it all.”

“Hey, preaching to the choir here. Why do you think I resisted trying to be the next Lord of Time? It’s a lot to put on one person.”

“You; master of all Time and Space, keeping history- past, present, and future- perfectly aligned. And me; master of spell casting, sex, beauty, strength, and without the perceived weakness of femininity. What a pair we would make.”

“Maybe we should both quit. I go back to stage magic. You go back to just being a rich, spoiled heiress.”

“Maybe a spoiled housewife? I only have to worry about impressing you and baking cookies all day.”

“And I’ll focus on making money performing at birthday parties and calling the fire department when you burn the kitchen down.”

“Oh, it sounds like a wonderful dream. So much simpler than our complicated reality.”

“… I think you’d miss the power… I have to admit… I’d miss being important.”

“Not to mention all the attention.”

“Hey, it’s why we fell in love with magic in the first place right?”

“Ha ha, you are right. I should give up smoking when I’m stressed and just be around you at all times.”

“Heh heh… don’t tempt me. Or I won’t be able to stop myself from doing this in front of everyone.”

“Joe…”

“Come on, we should be getting back before someone comes looking for us.”

“I suppose so. Here, give me your hands and help me into my shoes. They’re impossible to put on by myself with this dress on.”

“Sure. Hey, are those real diamonds in the heels?”

“Of course. To match the real diamonds in my heels. What else? Rubies?”

“Oh Joleena, the things you have to suffer through. Ow!”

“That’s what you deserve… Oh, I wish we could walk back in hand clasped like this but…”

“I get it. Here, you go back in first. I’ll wait a few minutes then come inside too.”

“Okay… I… I might have to dance with one of the young men to fend off suspicious.”

“It’s okay. I get it.”

“One more kiss before we go?”

“Just one more?”

“Haha, Joseph…”

“You know I can’t help it. I’ll see you in there, Joleena.”

“Goodbye, Joseph. I’ll see you soon.”