Between A Rock And A Hard Surface

We usually have disagreement with her, but this one was different. It started last night when I caught her chatting with him.On the day before the one we had the disagreement, she disclosed to me that she has fallen in love with me beyond repairs .

 He was her classmate from secondary school. She had a crush on him when she was just fifteen years old. After their graduation, he started taking drugs. She had to avoid him due to the fear that he would jeorpardise her life and the career she wanted to pursue. For almost ten years , the duo could not meet. She avoided him because he takes drugs , and he could not see her because she planned to hide from him. But they started seeing each other last week , after his return from a rehabilitation home.

My wife Halima was now twenty five years old. I met her on a Sallah day. We were about to set off from the Eid Mosque when I saw her. She looked young in her Sallah finery. Her face glowed with the freshness you see on a newly matured lady. She was so innocent as she strolled passed us. At that moment , the dollop of dapomine rushed into my blood and l felt good. From that day hence forward, I started mapping strategies in order to persuade her.

The first day of our tryst was a failure. She hid her face inside her veil and kept mute. I tried to cajole her to open up, but she refused. My friend who accompanied me to her house suggested that I should quit and return home, he said she might be reserved . We returned home, but l couldn’t sleep. I laid on my bed with my eyes open, racking my brain whether I could come up with an idea on how to persuade her. The rest of the days was a series of unrestrained pursiuts and evasions. She would agree to give me an audience with her, and she would shun me respectively. But at the end she lowered her guard and accepted my offer of marriage.

On our marriage day it rained cats and dogs.It prevented us from launching the grand celebration we announced to the public. We had to stay indoors.

In the begining, our marriage was peaceful , but there were few disagreements. We use to disagree on the kind of food to eat. We used to fight on what kind of movie to watch. We also used to disagree on the use of the phone in the bedroom.

But last night, this little peace was shattered by the sudden apperance of her ex. He is tall, giant and has a smile that can crush a lady's heart. I once saw him when he was not taking drugs. Though there was a little change in his demeanour due to the effect of taking drugs, but he still looked good.

I saw them standing at the front of my garage that evening. He put his hands on her shoulder and she leaned on the wall near the garage gate. He talked to her in a hushed tone. None of them saw me approaching. I felt as if a knife was plunged into my heart. My hands trembled with jealousy and a deluge of sweat broke out from my forehead. How could she do that to me? I love her. I began to ask myself questions that I didn’t want their answers. What if she found him more adorable than me? I felt my world falling apart.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing for God sake?” I announced. At that moment she rushed into the house. I couldn’t talk to him. I sauntered past him without saying a word. My heart was beating fast at the time, but how l controlled the impulse was a miracle.

I wanted to beat her when l entered the house but something inside me was telling me to refrain from it. I wanted to revile her but I couldn't find the right word for it. I headed straight to my bedroom , and perched myself on the edge of the bed. I bent down my head and covered my face with my palms and started to sob. I cried for almost an hour. My heart was broken.

Later in the night l heard her noise in the sitting room. I couldn't sleep that night. The little sleep l had was spoiled by the call for the morning prayers. It jolted me out of my half-baked sleep.

“Darling l know you were angry with me,” she said as she sat on the bed near me. After l returned from the mosque, I proceeded straight to my room. I passed her cuddled on the sofa in the living room. “I was wrong to hide it from you that there is no one l have ever loved like him. I know you will find it strange , but this is my stance,” she declared. I shift awkwardly from my position and said ”But this is unfair, Halima, I am your husband. I don't believe you could do this to me. You know I love you.” 

 I dont know what to do. Should l divorce her or continue with the marriage when l knew she was going out with someone? What shall l do? I was between a rock and a hard surface.

  I walked out of the room not knowing where I was heading to. My legs felt weak and my chest was heavy. Reaching the door outside, I had to brace myself on the wall before I proceeded to walk. Given the kind of condition I was, the world appeared to have conspired against me.

Lastly, I made up my mind to return home and tell her that I divorced her. I started to walk toward the direction of the house, but my heart couldn't take the decision I made. Then suddenly I felt as if the world was spinning, and I fell on the ground.

I opened my eyes and saw a nurse standing over me in the hospital. What happened to me, I don't know. Who found me and took me to the hospital? It was later when I recuperated that I was told that my wife was the one who found me unconscious and took me to the hospital. When my parents arrived, she told them what transpired between us and pleaded that she wouldn't repeat such a folly. That she loves me.

When I was informed about her confession, I couldn't believe my ears. Was it true that she loved me? How come she put me in this dillema? Should I agree with her and forged ahead with the marriage? Why did she torture me? I kept asking myself avalanche of questions that have no answers.

On the morning of my departure from the hospital, my parents made a decision for me. I was their only child , and the fear of losing me looked to be their worse nightmare. It was said that they were married for ten years before my mother conceived a pregnancy. Long before he married my mother, father had other wives whom he divorced because they couldn't bear him a child. It was when my mother came that he begun to have a feeling that he could have a child; this was when she miscarried at the second anniversary of their marriage. On my birthday ceremony, two rams were slaughtered. Many of our relatives from far and wide attended the ceremony.

It was my father who broached the issue to her. Let me quote him for you: " Due to your insistence that you would go out with Bala, your paramour, and with a farsighted decision we made, after a long and hard deliberation together with your mother in-law, I want to inform you that my son ceases to be your husband at this point in time." I forgot to tell you that my father likes officialese. I know it will be strange why he should speak to her in such a manner, but this is my dad for you.