Sadie wandered around the meadow surrounding the little stone cottage she called home. She walked along a small brook. Dropping rocks into the brook as she walked along it. Sadie felt a wide grin spread across. The sun was setting, a beautiful sunset was emerging. The meadows were her favorite places to explore. The wildflowers grow freely there. It felt as though they melted all her worries away. She slowly walked on the dirt path back to the cottage. Her knee-high paint-stained black shorts brushed against the hanging grass.
Sadie walked up to the small stone cottage. Her and her parents had lived there all her life. She knew every nook-and-cranny in the cottage. She longed that one day she would discover a secret that lied in the cottage's walls. She opened the red door.
"Sadie! Come into the kitchen, please." Her mother called. Sadie walked into the entryway, pulling her red sweater sleeves down to her hands. "Coming." She called as she kicked off her dirty blue hightops next to the door, and slid across the pale wooden floors on her black socks. She walked into the living room. The thin white curtains allowed the light to dance within the walls.
Her parents were sitting next to each other on the pale blue couch. "Am I in trouble?" Sadie asked, worried.
"No, but we need to talk about something," her dad chuckled. Sadie sat down in one of the two black leather chairs and hugged a pale blue pillow. "Me and your mom were thinking about going away this weekend and wondered if you would be comfortable staying here by yourself," asked her dad. "Dad, I'm 15. I'll be fine." Sadie replied. Sadie sighed. Her parents were always going on trips. "Okay, just wanted to make sure. We will leave tonight at 7," her mom said. "Okay," said Sadie as she got up from the chair.
Sadie walked up the stairs to her room. Sadie opened her door. She ran her fingers against the pale blue walls. She flopped onto her plain white bed covers. She rolled over with a sigh. "It seems like they are always gone." Sadie muttered to herself. Sadie felt her eyes grow heavy, she soon drifted to sleep. Sadie woke up to her mom shaking her.
"We are leaving now, sweetie, goodbye." Her mom said kissing Sadie on her head. Sadie let out a slight groan as she sat up in her bed and rubbed her eyes. She heard the front door shut. "Home alone at last." She yawned.
Sadie got up and slowly walked down the stairs. The steps creaked at each step. Thump. Sadie froze on the last step. "What in the world was that?!" Sadie wondered. She stomped one of her feet against the step. The step sounded hollow. Sadie stepped onto the floor and turned around to face the step. Sadie dropped to her knees and knocked on the step.
"Open me….." a whisper rang through the house. Sadie fell backwards aghast. "What was that?!" Sadie gasped. "Open me…" the eerie voice whispered again. It sounded like it was coming from the step. Sadie sat back up onto her knees. She placed her fingers on the small rim of the bottom step. She slowly opened the step. A pale purple light shone out of the box as she opened it. Inside was a purple candle. Sadie let out a gasp. She looked at the candle confused. "How did this get here?" She wondered. "More importantly, when did that step become hollow?" Sadie thought to herself. Sadie looked back at the step. The bottom step had closed. She set the candle down next to herself and tried to reopen the step. It wouldn't bulge. She knocked on the step, it no longer sounded hollow. "Strange." She murmured to herself. She picked up the candle and examined it closely. It was a plain straight purple candle, unused. As she looked at the bottom of the candle she saw there was a hole. In the hole there was a tiny rolled up piece of paper. Sadie pulled the piece of paper out.
She unrolled the paper. Written in small black letters was a poem that said:
Light me with fire
Let me burn
Wait for my color to turn
Close your eyes, make a wish
Blow me out and hold me tight
Have your wish come true at midnight.
But let me warn you
I work but once
So choose carefully
What you want to do.
For once done
I cannot be undone.
"What kinda prank is this?" Sadie wondered. Sadie sighed. "Why not try it," Sadie said, getting up.
Sadie placed the candle on the kitchen table upright. Sadie went through the kitchens drawers looking for matches. She looked at her watch, it was 9 p.m., Sadie finally found the matches and grabbed them from the drawer. "What to wish," Sadie pondered. "I know," Sadie said to herself as she lit the match. She lit the candle. "Ow!" Sadie remarked. The match had burned down to her left thumb and index fingertips burning them. She shook the match out. Sadie watched the candle melt. When it was melted halfway it turned from purple to white. Sadie closed her eyes and said,"I wish my parents would never leave me again!" Sadie blew out the candle. Sadie felt sleepy all the sudden. She fell to the floor asleep.
"Sadie, wake up," her mom said, shaking Sadie. "Huh?" Sadie groaned. "Our flight was cancelled so we came back." her dad said. Her parents sat next to her on either side of her bed. "Wait, how did I get to my bed? Wait….what time is it?" Sadie wondered. Sadie looked at her watch. It was midnight.
"Good night, Sadie," Sadie's mom said, placing her head on Sadie's shoulder. "Aren't you guys gonna go sleep in your room?" Sadie asked, confused.
"And leave you?" Sadie's dad said, shaking his head. "We are never leaving you again Sadie." Her mom yawned. Sadie stayed still, petrified. Sadie shook her head. "Don't tell me…." Sadie thought, looking back and forth at each of her parents. Sadie looked down at her fingertips. The left thumb and index finger were burned.
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4 comments
I love the little twist at the end, and adding the burned fingertips adds that final pop of suspense. -I felt like you did a nice job with the characterization of Sadie. I was able to accurately determine her age range before you mentioned it in the piece. -The flow of your writing improved as throughout. The first two paragraphs felt a little choppy with some awkward sentence structure and wording, but I noticed I change in the writing quality and flow as the story unfolded. -Overall, engaging story with a relevant moral- be careful w...
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Hey Josie! That was a good story! It had a good plot line but some parts felt a little repetitive. An example is when you wrote " She ran her fingers against the pale blue walls. She flopped onto her plain white bed covers". It was good detail but if you had put them together into one sentence it would have flowed better and not felt as repetitive. Another minor detail was that when Sadie found the candle underneath the steps you never told the reader that she had taken it out so when you said that the step had closed I had to reread the sen...
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Josie, I really enjoyed that! I liked how you sort of knew what was going to happen, but it just made you dread it more. I like how it was derived from real life feelings too!
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