Running a marathon

Anyone who ever says “You look like you’ve just run a marathon” can go to hell. I am actually running a marathon. A 26.2 mile marathon that is kicking my ass. I say this, but I’m nearly there. I’m nearly at the end. I’ve only got a few minutes to go. That is, if I don’t hit “the wall”.

My lovely friends have a bet going on when I’ll hit the wall, not if, when! To be fair, it was only last year that I was doing a couch to 5k. So, what motivated me? The dickhead ex-boyfriend of mine who I’ve finally caught up with. Really, I didn’t think this through. I’m sweaty, my red hair is a state, probably resembling a Raggedy Ann doll, I’m wearing clothes that are clinging to me like I’ve been for a swim. I probably look worse than my sister during labour…. Don’t tell Niamh I said that.

I’ve been pacing myself throughout this marathon, taking it slow, and making sure to keep hydrated. I even have a fanny pack with my water and chocolate in. Chocolate for just in case I get low blood sugar. I can feel my body ache all over despite pacing myself. It is in fact only seeing Bradley up ahead that’s making me keep going, sad I know.

I’m waiting for my moment to overtake the bastard and prove him wrong. Bradley only ever made me feel bad about myself, made me think I was lucky for being with him. He did this to me for two years. He only broke up with me when he found someone better, ha. Bradley made a huge mistake by ending things with me. Although, him breaking up with me is the best thing that could have happened.

In my journey of reaching the last stretch here in front of me, I’ve proved to everyone and myself just how strong I am, how driven. I’ve got thicker skin than people think. Not only that but going from fat to skinny has given me clarity on how pathetic and shallow people can be.

I’ve learnt how to love myself no matter my shape or size. It’s why, after this, I’m going to have a huge takeaway, snacks and binge watch tv with my dog.

I grinned seeing Bradley stop in front of me, resting his hands on his knees and take deep breaths. Yes. Oh, hell yes. The girl by him, stopped too, resting her hand on his back. Oh, even better. The toned, leggy blonde is the girl he left me for. Oh, Barbie and Ken you are going down. I managed to start pumping my arms and legs harder and faster to reach them. This is a race and they’re soon going to find out.

“Bradley?” Bradley’s eyes snapped up to meet mine as I jogged on the spot just in front of him. His bitch looked at me too. Dang. When people say you are attracted to people who mirror you, they weren’t kidding. Blue eyes, blonde hair, similar bone structure. They may want to check on that, yikes. Eh, serves them right.

“Jeanie? What?”

“What am I doing here?”

Bradley nodded breathlessly, whilst his girlfriend glared at me.

“Running a marathon. Well, beating you at one whilst you hit the wall. Tootles.”

I didn’t wait another minute to spin and continue to run. I can see the finish line around the next couple of bends. God, I’m so relieved I am struggling now. Why did I do this again? Maybe rubbing it in Bradley’s face isn’t worth the pain and exhaustion. Ah, kidding. Of course it’s worth it. “Oh my God, she’s there. Go Jeanie, Go. Go. Go.” I glanced to the side to see my friends cheering me on. If anything is going to keep me going, it’s that…. Or not.

On either side of me are Bradley and his girlfriend wearing matching smirks. “Really think you’d beat us, Jeanie?” Bradley grinned the grin I used to swoon at, now I want to smack it. “What I think is that you two look too similar to not be related.”

I smirked myself as the pair slowed their tracks in shock. I’m not going to lie, I kind of want to know if they look into that after this, especially since Bradley’s adopted. “Jeanie! Jeanie! She’s our runner, and she’s an absolute stunner.” I laughed at my friend, Olive’s cheer. She would love to do cheerleading, but she has no balance. Olive would have done this marathon with me, if she hadn’t of sprained each ankle on different runs when preparing.

“You’re not going to win, Jeanie. Beatrix and I have been practicing together for years. I was already with her when we were together for Christ’s sake.”

Instead of letting the pain of Bradley’s words consume me, I let them fuel me. “Oh, so you stayed with me until she was into kinky stuff too? Sorry Beatrix love, I doubt you two will have done half the kinky stuff we did.”

Bradley growled at my words. It was fun to tease him in such a way. I know it’s pathetic doing all this to get back at him and prove him and everyone wrong, but I don’t regret it. I’m enjoying it and after this, I can move on.

“Stop trying to mess with our heads!” Beatrix snapped at me, brushing her blonde hair from her face. She’s an idiot to have not worn a bobble. Eh, I’m not going to cry about it. “I’m doing nothing, love. I know I’m great in bed, I’ve seen enough faces on your boyfriend’s face you’ll probably never see to know that.”

I pushed myself to get ahead of the pair. I grinned hearing more cheers for me as I went on and an argument between Beatrix and Bradley behind me. Bradley’s never been good at lying, hiding things, yes, but not lying.

“Almost there, Jeanie. Come on!” I’m round the bends, I’m on the road where the finish line taunts me. Bradley and Beatrix are back by my sides, eyes dead set on the prize, the end. They went from just needing to finish, to needing to beat me. It doesn't matter that we're no where close to those who won, it's all about us. I stopped pushing myself as much, I purposely slowed my pace to the point it was obvious that I let them beat me, at this anyway.

I don’t need to win this race to prove I’m better. I’ve already done that. I’ve done that for myself and yes, for them by letting them beat me. I watched Bradley and Beatrix drop after the finish line, alone. They both raised an eyebrow at me as I passed and fell into my friends’ arms. “I can’t believe you did it, but why did you let them win?” I looked to the couple who were yet to stand, talking in firm tones to each other. They never had a strong relationship, I can see that, no relationship that starts with cheating is.

“Look at them, does it look like they won? Just because they beat me in the race doesn’t mean they beat me at life. I’m stronger, wiser, happier. I’m the best person I can be and, though it’s infuriating, I have Bradley to thank for that.”

“So, what? You like him now? You forgive him?”

“Oh hell no. I’ll never forgive that bastard.”

My friends and I laughed. It took hours to do the marathon, but it was those last minutes when I saw Bradley that gave me clarity. I rushed into my relationship because I was scared to be alone. Well, being alone is what I need to be right now. I need to slow down and take my time. A bit like running the marathon, slow and steady wins the race.