The Dragon's Lair

The Dragon’s Lair

Suzanne Marsh

“What are you doing taking up residency here in Sister’s Office?” My usual sarcastic answer:

“No, she just decided we needed to have another talk, the one where I say yes Sister and

she says: ‘why can’t you be more like your cousin?” I spent more time in the principal's office than I did learning for the two years I was at the Mount. I was always in trouble for something. I remember one time I was late for class, I had been up in the cloister, which is where the nuns have their cells. Sister Saint Frances caught me as I slid down the stairs and landed at her feet. She took me to the Dragon’s Lair. Sister Mary of the Rosary was truly a fire breathing dragon in some other life or so I thought. I awaited the dragon’s return with great trepidation with my friend and cohort in crime Katie MacKeller.

The door opened and there stood the dragon herself, entering her cave. The PA system had been on. Everyone in school heard what I had said. ‘Here we go again,’ I thought. Sister Mary of the Rosary cleared her throat. This never boded well especially when she glared as she did it. Sister began:

“You two, please, Mother Superior is coming to visit, for a change behave yourselves.

Sarah try to emulate your cousin Sally, she never gets into trouble.”

My sarcasm got the better of my common sense and I blurted out:

“Because I am not Sally, I am Sarah.”

That was all sister needed:

“Very well, in that case you will write an essay of at one thousand words to be titled:

“Why I should stay out of the Cloister.”

“One thousand words ah come one Sister.”

“Very well make that two thousand.”

I very meekly stood up and left the Dragon’s lair. Sister was to the point where she must have been considering either expelling me or telling me I was going to have leave. I knew then that I was going to have to tell my mom a big fib. I was going to tell her that I really did not want to stay at the Mount, I wanted to go to public school. That seemed like the best way out of a no-win situation.

However, I was not finished yet. I still had one more scathingly brilliant idea to fix Sister Mary of the Rosary or so I thought. I remember the day quite clearly. I, like most of the other girls hated the below the knee code. It was bad enough having to wear stockings or navy blue or black socks. The shirt waist for the summer were light pastels, pink, blue or yellow. There was also the matter of starched white collars and cuffs. I hated those most of all. I usually kept a clean set in my lockers but somehow I had taken them home and forgotten to bring them back. My cuffs were a dingy gray since I had been wearing them for a week. Sister Mary of the Rosary was always looking to see collars and cuffs. One morning she caught me on the way to chapel. I hated Home Economics, which was where I knew she would send me but first:

“Sarah, your cuffs are filthy. Go straight to HomEc and see Sister Saint Paul, she will be sure

your cuffs are nice and white again.”

“But Sister, that will make me late for chapel.”

“The Lord, I am sure will forgive you, cleanliness is next to Godliness.”

I had absolutely no recourse but to do as I was instructed. I took my time getting to the Home Economics room and there stood Sister Saint Paul:

“Good morning dear, why are you here?

“Sister Mary of the Rosary told me to wash my collar and cuffs.”

“Oh, I see.” Any time a nun said something that I knew I was in over my head. She took me over to a scrub board, something resembling a bar of soap, very strong soap.

“Here you dear, your own space to wash your collar and cuffs.”

I glared at the tub, thinking to myself that this was positively mid evil. I had no clue as to what I was supposed to do with that scrub board and soap. We had a washer and dryer at home. Only Sister of the Rosary would have thought to make things this difficult. Sister Saint Paul meandered over to where I stood with a rather ridiculous look on my face:

“What is the problem dear?”

“Sister Saint Paul, I have no idea how to wash my collar and cuffs, we have a washing machine

at home.”

Sister snickered then began in earnest:

“It is quite simple dear, put your collar and cuffs in the water, let them soak for several

minutes, then take the soap, rubbing it on the collar and cuffs. That is what the scrubbing

board is for.”

I took a deep breath, then did what I was told. When I was finished I asked Sister Saint Paul where the dryer was:

“Oh, heavens no; just put the collar and cuffs on then return to class.”

“But, Sister, they are wet.”

“Yes, child you washed them remember?”

I nodded my head gravely, put on the soggy collar and cuffs. Sister Mary of the Rosary was waiting for me in her lair:

“Sarah, come in. Ah, I see your collar and cuffs are clean. You will have detention for the

entire week.”

“But Sister,”

“No But Sister, when you don’t do what you are supposed to do you suffer the consequences.”

“Consequences, Sister?”

“Yes, furthermore, I am going to have a conversation with your mother. For the last two years

the sisters have tried to straighten you out, God knows you have tried the patience of the

saints themselves.”

I came out of Sister’s lair, there was Katie waiting:

“Well, what did the old battle ax say this time?”

“My mother is going to ground me, and my father is going to yell about the expense of sending

me to a catholic school.”

“Is she going to expel you?”

“I sure hope so, I hate this school, I wanted to go to KESH since I was a freshman.”

“If you go Sarah, I will be going too. I know you are having a hard time in Sally’s shadow.”

The next few days were quiet, never a good sign. Then came the summons to the lair.

When I arrived there stood the dragon lady and my mother who was not amused.

“Sarah, you are being expelled, your mother is sending to public school, who knows

maybe you will drive those people crazy also.” I left the dragon’s lair, with my mother:

“Why, can’t you behave? How many times have you been in the principal’s office?”

“More than I can count.”

With that, I departed the Mount.