I Don't Dance

Dates weren't his thing. Ish had never had time for frivolous stuff, and dates were included in that category. It was just a waste of time. There was too much work to be done, and too few people he wanted to get close to.

But his life of being guard dog to a gang lord was over; a fact he still struggled to come to terms with. With that, it meant he suddenly had all the free time on his hands to do whatever he wanted. Too much free time, if anyone were to ask him.

Dates were not his strong suit, but walking with the ball of constant energy beside him had made him give it a try.

Ish glanced over to where Blu was. The bright purple hair of the other man was such a huge distraction in the middle of the woods. Yet, to be fair, Ish didn't think he would be able to recognize his boyfriend without some flashy color adorning his head. Even in the fading light of evening, the purple glowed as if by its own light source in the lengthening shadows. Yet it wasn't nearly as bright as the smile Blu gave when he caught him looking.

“Are you going to tell me what you've cooked up for tonight?” Blu asked. His curiosity was radiating off of him. Ish could feel it in the air, but he wouldn't let it ruin the surprise he had worked all week on.

“Nope,” he replied.

“I don't get any clues?”

“Clues at this point would give it away.” After all, there weren't many reasons why he would have dragged his boyfriend out on a hike so close to sunset.

“How so?” Blu pressed, though his tone was more teasing than upset.

“Because you’re clever, and I don’t want you to figure it out before we get there,” Ish answered. Despite the effort put in, he fully believed that this date wasn't going to go as planned. It was a good mix of simple and personal, but it still required the help of a few of Blu's family to set up. The fact he needed help in the first place made him feel as if he had cheated in the assignment, but he wasn't about to voice that out loud.

Blu's gaze was focused on him, and Ish saw him intake a breath as if preparing to speak. He was surprised when no further questions were asked. Normally, his boyfriend was the type to learn as much as he could and wouldn't settle for vague responses. Blu was an inquiring soul, always wanting to know more. He had prepared himself to ward off a barrage of questions, so he was a bit suspicious when none came. He gave a mental shrug. The less talking he had to do, the better.

The silence that settled between them as they hiked was welcome. Ish was sure if he had to keep talking, his voice would betray his nerves. He had faced rival gang bosses, been in countless gun fights, and taken the lives of more people than he cared to admit. None of those events had ever fazed him. Yet his stomach was in knots. They were already dating, so the need to woo Blu wasn't necessary. The pair had become a couple in the worst of circumstances, at least in Ish's opinion. Romance hadn't been a focus, nor did Ish think it needed to be. However, Blu had done so much for him in the last few months, stuck with him through absolute shit. Blu had stayed, had never wavered, and somehow could still look at him with those bright, laughing eyes despite all he had done.

Dates better be worth it.

The hike wasn't a long one. The spot he had picked out was actually well known since it was not only easily accessible, but offered a good view. It was a very popular lookout that offered a clear view of the forest below for miles. He just hoped that his boyfriend wouldn't know what was waiting for him there. Within ten minutes, they rounded the turn in the path that exposed the scene waiting for them.

Beside him, Blu froze. An audible gasp could be heard above the drumming of Ish's pulse in his ears. He hadn't had time today to come and set everything up, so he had asked Blu's cousin if she minded doing him the favor. Now, seeing the picnic display, he was glad for that. A white and blue plaid blanket had been carefully spread out over the ground of the lookout point. Atop it sat the wicker picnic basket, and lit candles were arranged at each corner. The flames were hard to see in the light of evening, but Ish could make out the flickering of the flames. A single Bluetooth speaker rested on one side of the basket, and a small vase of colorful wildflowers was on the other. Simple as it may have been, the real focal point of the scene was the sunset that had tinted the sky a fiery orange. That was what made the lookout popular, or so he had been told.

“Was this… all you?” Blu asked after a long, nerve-wracking minute. “Your idea?”

Ish turned his head enough to study his boyfriend. Awe and surprise glittered in his eyes, and Ish found himself captured in the glow. He wasn't the romantic type, and had never done anything to prove to Blu he was even capable of it. Blu was also the type that was hard to surprise, so the fact that he accomplished that by such a mediocre date gave him some pride.

However, the feeling didn't last for more than a few seconds. While the idea of the date had been his, the truth of the matter was that this was not all his doing. In fact, other than just making the final decisions of it all, it was someone else who had put it all together. His gaze dropped away. He didn't deserve to take pleasure in his boyfriend's reactions for something he didn't do.

“No,” he muttered, voice blank and matter-of-fact. His shoulders tensed as he admitted it, his hands shoved as far as they could go into the pockets of his leather jacket. “I didn't have the faintest idea what I was doing. River gave me ideas because I had no clue what to do. And Willow set all of this up.” He couldn't take the credit for their work. Willow and her mother were the ones behind it all.

What he had intended to be a romantic gesture felt more like a joke to him. What kind of boyfriend was he if he couldn't even do one simple task? After all, he could have easily laid out a blanket and lit candles. He didn't need someone else doing such a basic task. And while he had wanted to walk with Blu to their destination, he could have easily come here after work to set up and told the other man to meet him here. He could have done the work. He should have done the work.

“Did you pick the setting?” Blu asked.

Ish was aware that Blu's attention was on him, but he didn't turn to meet it. “River mentioned that it would be a good spot,” he replied.

“Did she say anything about watching the sunset?”

To that, Ish shrugged. That one was his idea. Mostly because he knew that there would be fewer people out and about this close to dark. He was still getting comfortable with the public displays of affection between them, and he hadn't felt like spending a first date where everyone could see them. Still, one miniscule detail hardly compared to the efforts of everyone else.

Arms encircled his waist. Gentle, caring. Ish wanted to both lean in, and bolt. Yet he stayed rooted to the spot.

“Bee?”

He forced himself not to flinch at the nickname. Not because he hated it. Quite the opposite, actually. But it brought up feelings stronger than he was used to handling. Feelings he wanted to embrace, but had no idea how to.

“Bee,” Blu beckoned again, this time accompanied by a soft kiss to the neck.

“What?” Ish asked.

The embrace grew tighter. “Thank you,” Blu said. “It's amazing.”

Of course, he liked it. It was someone else's idea. Willow knew Blu better than he did, so it made sense she would have made something he adored. But despite his own shame for the lack of effort on his part, he was glad that Blu was happy with the scene. He deserved much more, but if this was enough for the moment, then Ish was glad his boyfriend could enjoy himself for the evening. “Good,” was all he could manage in response.

Blu kissed his nose, a gesture he would have normally rolled his eyes at. “There are many ways to be romantic, Bee. And this?” He gestured with one hand to the picnic blanket before them. “This is romantic. A bit of help from others doesn't take away from that.”

Ish thought otherwise, but he wasn't going to argue. This evening was supposed to be a good one. There had been too many fights lately over a lot of things, and tonight was meant to be a break from all of it. “Then I guess we should go eat before the sunset is over,” he suggested.

“Bee,” Blu started, but he paused. The unspoken words hung in the air, and Ish could assume what his boyfriend wanted to say. He was glad when he decided to just leave it be.

“Okay,” he said instead. Blu's hands found their way up to hold his face, drawing him into a kiss. “Thank you, again. The fact that you did all of this says so much more than the idea itself.”

“You're welcome,” Ish replied. He knew if he didn't curb the foul mood he was slipping into, he could ruin the whole evening. Then he would be wasting Willow's work. He could push it aside for now. He had to. “We still should eat, though.”

With a nod and one more kiss, Blu released him so they both could take a spot on the blanket. Blu even went so far as removing his shoes before sitting down, an action that Ish didn't follow suit with. He simply took a seat and watched his boyfriend pilfer through the contents of the picnic basket. The conversation from there trailed off as they each grabbed something to eat from the choices of sandwiches, crackers, cheese, and fruit. They ate in comfortable silence, watching the colors of the sky change.

Well, Blu watched the sunset. Ish could admit the scene was peaceful, and he could understand how someone like Blu, who appreciated the colors of life in all their glory, would be captivated by it. But Ish hadn't been one to pay attention to the finer things of nature. He was used to the glow of neon signs, flickering street lamps, and the shadows of alleyways. When you've seen one, you've seen them all, and the details weren't worth losing time over to look at it all. The reds, pinks, yellows, and purples bleeding across the sky didn't hold the same fascination as the purple mess of hair beside him.

He watched Blu, taking in the way his boyfriend sat, relaxed and at ease. The light of the sun highlighted his skin, making it seem as if he was glowing. His blue eyes shone with a vibrancy that was otherworldly. A dream. That's what it was like to be sitting next to Blu Rising. No matter how many times he had woken up beside him, how many arguments, or how many times he had tried to deny his feelings for him, it was all very much a dream. A vision of his mind that was so life-like he could believe it was real, and yet so fragile he was afraid one touch would shatter it all. Shatter like all the other good things in his life. Of all the others he had…

“Hey. What's wrong?” Blu's voice cut through his thoughts like a knife.

Ish blinked and brought his focus back to the here and now. His boyfriend had finished eating, and the light had grown dim. The sun had almost set beyond the horizon, and the stars were playing peekaboo above them. Around them, he became aware that the crickets had begun to play their night song. All peaceful, all calm… All boring. Was Blu bored? Had he read the expressions wrong? Instead of content and enthralled, was Blu instead underwhelmed by the experience? After all, he was dating a literal ball of energy. His boyfriend was used to doing daring and exciting things in his spare time, the definition of the life of a party. Wouldn't he have preferred a date that was more engaging?

A quiet sigh escaped as he looked anywhere other than Blu, trying desperately to reel in his sinking thoughts. “It's not the best,” he told him. “This feels like a poor, half-assed attempt at something.”

“Do you want to be here?” Blu asked, sliding over on the blanket to sit closer. “With me?”

“Yes, I do. There's nowhere else I'd rather be. I just… I don't think I did this right.”

“It couldn't be more right, Bee,” Blu promised.

“I could think of half a dozen things that could be better.”

“Then you have options for next time.”

Ish glanced down a bit as he felt his boyfriend's head lean against his shoulder. Whatever he could have said left him. Why bother? They were useless words anyway. Instead, he tilted his own head so he could rest his cheek on top of Blu's hair, content to let the night envelop them.

“So what's the speaker for?” Blu asked after a moment, a teasing note in his voice. “You gonna sing for me?”

Oh, right. Ish almost forgot the second part of the date. The part he had actually spent the last couple of days mentally and physically preparing himself for. While singing at this point seemed like a much easier route to take, he wasn't about to sabotage the one part of the evening he could claim as entirely his idea.

“That's for the second surprise,” he informed, lifting his head.

“Which is?”

He met Blu's quizzical glance, but if his boyfriend was expecting a verbal answer, he would be left waiting. Instead, Ish stood and took his phone from his pocket. It took seconds to hook it to the Bluetooth, and a couple more to find the song Willow had picked out. He appreciated music, but the kind that was needed for this moment was not in his normal playlist. He listened as the first few soft guitar strings filled the night air, leaning more towards a country, acoustic tune than the rock he preferred. But it would do for tonight.

Turning back to Blu, he offered a hand to help him to his feet. For a second time that evening, he was met with an absolutely stunned look. Except this time, he allowed the pride it invoked to linger among the nervousness. This time, he was sure he was breaking every expectation Blu had when he told him he was going to take him on a date.

“Bee…?”

Ish hauled him up as soon as his boyfriend had taken hold of his hand. He knew if he didn't do this now, he would back out of it. So he placed an arm around Blu's waist, the other hand still holding Blu's, and there, they danced.

Blu was a dancer in every sense of the word. He moved with the music in a way that told a story. It was more than a hobby. It was an outlet. A way to express himself when his paintings could not. The second time Ish had run into him had been at a nightclub, and he had watched as Blu worked the crowd into a raving frenzy just by his moves and energy alone.

Ish wasn't a dancer. He had no interest in flailing about, and he had stated many times how he despised the idea of it. But words failed him in expressing his emotions, and he had no other outlets he was comfortable showcasing in an attempt to convey them. So he chose a way he knew Blu would understand fully. Or, at least, he hoped he would. The steps were slow, the movement contained to the shallow circles they turned, and for once, Ish could feel he was in control of this moment. He dared to look into Blu's eyes. There, he found it hard to gauge what his boyfriend was thinking.

A part of him worried that this wasn't having the effect he had hoped for. He had surprised Blu by the gesture, yes, but was he even performing well? He had only had a couple of lessons with Willow, and she always ended up trying to get him to freestyle to a much faster beat. Slow dancing was a thing, but he felt as if they were just rocking back and forth. What if he was just making a fool of himself?

Those worries, however, found no purchase within him. For when the music stopped, he had Blu's arms wrapped around his neck and his forehead pulled down to meet his boyfriend's.

“Play it again,” he whispered.

For once in his life, Ish couldn't obey an order fast enough. He wanted to obey. If it meant keeping the moment going for a little longer, he would replay the song a thousand times, spin Blu in his arms all night long if he had to. He would give his best to show with action what he couldn't say with words.

“Always,” Ish promised as the music began once more.