This Bumpy Road

Should I work to submit this to the competition? Comment 🫶🏻 if yes:)

Cold air, old roads.

Used to love this town with life, but now I don’t. 

Used to know this street with heart, now there’s bumps in the road.

Used to call this road home, now I need to find house.

I hate this bumpy road.

Why’d they pave it anyway? 

The dirt was molded so wonderfully.

Once it was.

Once it was perfect. 

Once everything was right here.

Why’d they change my path when it was once so smooth? 

I used to know my way home.

Now, I’m lost at sea

Finding dandelions. 

Picking dandelions.

Wishes on the grass.

Pointless wishes.

Wishes.

Useless wishes.

Wishes that don’t matter.

Wishes that will go nowhere.

They’ll never find surface.

Wishes to find home.

Wishes to find safety. 

Wishes to get out of this dark.

Wishes to eat a plump feast.

A juicy stake.

Beef.

Chicken.

Pork.

Wishes to get my fill.

Wishes to get out of cold.

Wishes to get off of this bumpy road.

This new wilderness isn’t friendly. 

It’s colder than ever.

Autumn near bitter winter. 

Please, take me back.

Take me back to the beginning. 

Take me back home.

Take me back to when I knew this road.

To when I was full.

To when I was whole

I knew this path once.

I was only a child

But I knew.

I knew the way from top to bottom

Like the back of my hand

And the blood in my veins.

I knew where to go

How to reach house.

How to reach home.

Take me home.

But so much is the same 

The same as it was

When I was a child.

The smell of daisies

Making me sneeze.

The grass, the woods.

The plants are green.

So what changes?

Why is it that I can’t find home?

An old woman walks beside me.

Says I look distressed. 

I am not distressed. 

I am more than distressed.

I am furious.

Grieving.

I am lost.

Forgotten.

Gone.

She is not.

What is there to be happy about?

Though this woman seems ecstatic…

Why?

Why is she smiling?

Why does she taunt me?

Why does she feel joy?

How can I stop it?

Maybe if I talk, she’ll feel my pain.

Maybe she’ll see the truth.

Maybe I want her to feel my pain.

I want her to know. 

I want her to see.

I want to feel seen.

Soon she’ll see.

She’ll see the dull road.

She’ll see this bumpy road. 

She’ll see empty black sky.

Maybe soon she’ll see. 

Soon she’ll see reality. 

Because in reality 

There will be no more hurt

For you’re already lost.

The truth that is

She won’t find her home here either.

Not in the dark.

Not in the bitterness.

Not in the cold.

Not in the hunger.

Not with the wolves.

It’s too much.

The wolves come out at this time.

They see, they watch.

They know

They know she’ll freeze to death

Before they pick her dry.

But the woman is not distressed.

Not when I tell her.

Instead, she keeps that smile.

I feel angry.

Why?

Why is she happy?

Why am I not?

“Who are you?” I ask.

 “Why do you smile?” I ask.

“There is nothing to be happy about.” I say.

“I can’t find my way home.” I say.

“I’m as cold as death.” I say.

“I hunger.” I say.

“I’m lost.”

But she smiles. 

The woman actually smiles.

Why is she so cruel?

I want to chain her up.

Tie her to a tree.

I want her to leave me be.

But still she opens her mouth to speak.

“There is no need to be sad.” She says.

Yes there is, I think. 

Of course there is.

There is every reason to be sad. 

This road shows no light, I think.

“There is a way.” She says.

“You see, my child,”

“You are free to leave the road.” She says.

“You may step into the woods,”

“But where will that take you?” She asks.

“This is a one way road.”

“Follow it.” She says. 

The woman hands me a lantern. 

Such soft hands.

Such gentle hands.

“You will find home.” She smiles.

“Beauty is in darkness.”

“In something inside.”

“You’ll eventually need to find it.”

“Search for it.”

“Look for it on your own.”

“I assure you that it’s there.”

“Beauty is everywhere.”

“Seek it out.”

“Look at this world, past the dark.”

“There are families here.”

“Here on this road.”

“Families of squirrels and rabbits that rest.”

“Families of frogs and other creatures”

“Just showing light.”

“There are berries and nuts to fill you up.”

“There is cotton and wool.”

“Firewood lies to keep you warm.”

“But it is dark.”

“The beauty is hard to see now.”

“When everything is black,”

“Black is all we see.”

“At least at first.”

“So for now,”

“Take my lantern.”

“Follow the light.”

The woman left.

I held the lantern.

The lantern she gave.

The handle was heavy

But I felt thankful.

I felt relieved.

Now I could see.

I could the the squirrels

Piled together in slumber.

I could see a fire for camp

Embers ablaze

Distance yet precious.

I could see flowers

Past my allergies.

Now I knew what it was I needed

So long as I could find it.

I needed my own light.

But then, I didn’t think I had it.

Not then.

Instead there was the lantern.

There was light.

Down this bumpy road.

From the woman.

From her sight.

She carried it without needing it

Which I couldn’t understand.

But it didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter now.

Not anymore.

I could finally see. 

I had light. 

I found home.

Maybe someday.

Someday I will be like her.

Like that lady.

Someday I will not need the light to see.

Someday I will find my way.

But not today.

Not this week.

Not even this year.

But someday.

Today, I used the light.

In tomorrow’s world it's a mystery. 

In tomorrow’s world things will be new.

Things will be different.

Perhaps I will see in the dark.

I will give someone my lantern

Down this bumpy road.

The light is perception

And in light it bleeds.