Flames Gentle Caress

I sat there in my grandmother's living room. The chair I sat in was big fluffy and warm. The smell of Thanksgiving dinner was strong in the air as it danced merrily and weaved itself through our conversation. Holding my white wine in my hand I tore myself from overlooking a hearty conversation near me to glancing around the room.

               My eyes landed on my fiancé and I smiled. He was talking and laughing with my brother, both seemingly intrigued by whatever they were talking about. Looking on I turned my head to the fire. Forcing myself to look at it. Tears welled up in my eyes as images started to flash through my mind.

               I lied there on the harsh ground flames dancing around me, itching to caress my skin. The heat was unbearable causing my hair to mat around my face in its unruliness. Taking harsh, quick smoke-filled breaths wasn’t helping as I coughed so hard that my body shook uncontrollably and blood splattered out of my mouth. Crying out was no use, no one could hear my weak voice. The engagement ring on my finger burned as it got heated up and seared into my skin, but I refused to take it off. The last little bit of my ‘beloved’.

               Standing up sharply a tear trickled down my face as my breathing increased. Turning on my heel I took off down a hallway to my right towards the bathroom. Slipping in I felt my ears start to ring and my heartbeat became more and more erratic. Clenching and unclenching my teeth I slid down the bathroom door wall as more and more silent tears cascaded down my face in silent prayer.

               The feeling was unbearable part of the roof fell and crashed behind me causing me to cry out even louder. I didn’t want to go like this. The tears that slipped down my face evaporated quickly from the air. I had so much in store and non was coming to fruition. I was going to get married in three months. I had a child. A newborn. One I would never be able to raise. Never see her first foot-steps, never hear her first word. That hurt the most the agony in my heart was unbearable as I thought about Jax raising our child all alone.

               “Hey, Mia.” A soft voice said.

               A scream ripped through my throat as I reached up to grasp the dining room table, only for it to crumble away at my touch and have me fall stomach first onto a flame.

               “You got to breathe, listen to my voice.” The person said.

               No, I can’t listen. My ears are buzzing. It feels like pressure is being applied to my lungs in access. I can’t breathe properly.

               Someone hugged me, but I wanted to tear-free. It hurt. The touch hurt me. I was hypersensitive and crying out in pain the person retreated.

               The flame burned as it finally got what it wanted. My skin. Hungry and greedy it started to lick away my shirt and soon there was no barrier between my and the flame. Caressing my skin it greedily started to run its long fingers over my back.

               Looking up to the person I saw Jax, my fiancé leaning over me, a look of utter confusion written over his face as I visibly saw fear creeping up in his eyes.

               No. Don’t be scared for me. I’m fine. Go back to the party.

               Throwing myself back I found a section of the floor distanced from the flames and thrusting myself on it I rolled around wildly. The flame slowly diminished its grip until it was gone.

               “Mia. You got to listen to me. Remember when we went down to the lake last week and had that picnic with some of our friends, then went swimming?”

               Water.

               “We went down to the beach last year as a family. You, me, mom, dad, Cate?”

               Oh Cate, our wonderful little Cate, our child. So pure and innocent.

               “Poor Cate got so sick the last day. The first time she ever had a fever. You were so pretty that day, glowing as you took charge of her health, refusing to leave our little babies' side. Like when you were pregnant. You always glowed with protectiveness. So beautiful.”

               Jax dared to reach out again and caress my neck. That was better. Not as much of an overload of sensation. Reassurance.

               Letting out one more sobbing cry I succumbed to the flames and the darkness as I slowly blacked out. Only faintly remember seeing a figure burst through the door I had been so desperately trying to reach. Their figure was surrounded by flames so I couldn’t really see them. Not being able to stop them as they rushed through the fire, I felt one more tear slip down my face, evaporate, and I loosed myself to the darkness.

No more fighting. I was tired of fighting.

Slowly my breathing returned to normal as Jax kept talking and slowly touching me more and more as I got used to it. Pulling my head from the clouds I looked at him. Tears soaked my shirt and dribbled over his hand but the relief on his face made me want to start crying again.

“I’m sorry.” My voice was cracking and barely audible, but I had to say something.

Jax just smiled back and carried on like it never happened, and that’s what I needed right then. We would address it later tonight, but for now, I wanted to ignore it ever happening. Jax helped me up and placed a firm kiss on my lips only to smile cheekily at me, wipe away the tears, and lead me back into the common room after we looked presentable again.

I noticed the fire had been doused and that made me thankful. Thinking back on that day I smiled with warmth. Upon coming to I had found out that Jax had run into our house to save me because the fire truck was still three minutes away and I would have been dead by then. Looking at my forever charred and scared skin I had thought how Jax wouldn’t want me anymore. How he would hate me know because of these ugly scars.

Once again though, I was wrong. It wasn’t a common occurrence, but I had been sure that this time I was right. Upon shying away from him, explaining the situation, and walking off, he just caught me up and reminded me how much he loved me despite the burnt flesh I now had on my stomach.

That day I fell that much more in love and I think he did too.

And I had never taken my tears for granted since then.