Over-Cross: the Lookout Mountain

'I hate people and people hate me," I said this to myself as I was mediating up on the Lookout Mountain summit in peace.

I can still remember the verse from John Chapter 15 back in Sunday school; [18] "If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. [19] If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you." That verse always speak volumes on how the world works and operates. People will always hate others just like they did with Jesus. The same one who died for our sins but was resurrected three days later. That same thing happened to me just recently. 

I've always been a Christian man from as far as I can recall. My Nana Rina taught me very well. After all she was the only family I got. My parents both died in a bus accident. Something I would rather not discuss about now.

Back then, she used to tell me, "Henry, your parents would be proud of you for the man you became: a hard working Christian man."

I would then reply: "I think so too." Not even considering it but my Nana Rina would always reassure me that God has something plan for me.

I still don't and now my Nana Rina is gone...and it's all because of me...

I have so much sin for me to atone with and while I know that God is a forgiving entity, I don't think my spot was reserved for me to stand by my Nana Rina up in heaven. At least not yet anyways.

No, instead, I was dead and then resurrected three days later like Jesus once did. I was given a second chance.

A second chance to do what?

Exactly what I'm trying to figure. 

I decided to take a silent retreat to the Lookout Mountain considering I needed to be in touch with God and nature. Also wanted to be relevant on my phone since society is always glued to their screens these days. Plus this was one of the landmarks my Nana Rina and I would go on our trips. Walking down the memory lane to me of sort, I guess.

Just roughly two hours from Atlanta, Georgia, this was the spot I needed to unwind from everything I have been through. Especially these past couple of weeks. Plus I am the sort of person who likes silent retreats considering I am an introvert and am more reserved than anything, unlike my beloved Nana. 

These past couple of weeks I haven't gotten much sleep to begin with. This trip helped it though. I was able to sleep more than 5 hours a day than I did in the city of Atlanta, aka my home city. A home city after being resurrected that I was now sworn to protect.

I can still recall the conversation I had with one of the guardian angels who came forward after I was back to live. 

His name was Malachi and his code-name was "The Messenger". Malachi came to me to let me know that the Lord Almighty himself has a purpose for me to fulfill and that is to be his Earth Angel code-named: "Over-Cross." The Messenger also informed me that if I would ever need anything, just simply call upon the Lord or any of his angel.

I haven't called any of them since.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this. After everything that I just lost, why me? Why couldn't God just let my Nana live instead of me. She didn't deserve to die. It was all my fault.

If it wasn't for my gambling issue and making deals with a loan shark, none of this would have happened.

I had so much resentment to not only God but to the aforementioned loan shark who calls himself: "Waldrom." He owns the same casino I used to go to when I had my gambling problems. I used to go there on a daily basis, seeing if I can make more money each time. 

It had gotten to a point where I won a lot of money each time that I decided to spend it all on things to my heart's desire. I was able to pay off my Nana Rina's mortgage, gotten ourselves our dream cars and even brought out a yacht.

However all things must come to an end. For when I used up all of that dough, I decided to give it one last shot. Especially considering my Nana and I were behind bills after my spending habits. Word spreads quickly in the casino and Mister W himself gotten involved along with his goons of course. He gave me three months in order to pay for all the money I have spent or else. I beg him to spare us for we both were simple folks but he didn't give a damn.

All he ever cared about his money and nothing else.

Power hungry loan shark!

So as you can imagine, once the three months were up, both my Nana Rina and I had to suffer my stupidity. If only I had gotten help with my gambling issues back then, she would have been alive and I wouldn't be up on the Lookout Mountain alone.

Since I have been here on the silent retreat, I've been getting weird looks considering I haven't shaved nor showered since being resurrected and all. Been too preoccupied and depressed with everything that transpired. 

What I need now was my Nana Rina but since she is no longer on this Earth, I would have to go to the places she and I used to go in order to stay connected with her spiritually. I figured since the Lookout Mountain was her favorite spot, I might actually get a chance to talk to her through spirit.  

These past couple of days of mediating up on the mountain summit, I haven't gotten any luck. I've tried everything that I could think of in order to get my Nana Rina to talk to me spiritually, but every time it didn't work. After many attempts, I decided to finally pray to God and ask him for not only forgiveness of my own stubbornness but to also ask him to have me speak to my own Nana Rina. 

After my prayer, I waited. At first, I didn't hear anything nor show any sign indicating that He got it. When one hour had passed, I decided to take my leave to my weekend cabin until I felt a presence and saw a shiny light behind me. I turned and found my Nana Rina standing in front of me with her own angel wings like Malachi has. Apparently my Nana Rina had died and became one of the Lord's guardian angels. Who would have thought!?