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Holiday

Ronnie hated his life. And the only thing he hated as much were Mondays. Mondays meant he got to see the one guy he always felt like punching in the face; his brother in-law. Fred used to be Ronnie’s best friend back in middle school. But when Fred had played a trick on Ronnie, a trick that almost cost him his then-fragile asthmatic health, Ronnie had vowed never to have anything to do with Fred. Well, except for the fact that Fred would end up as his colleague at work and brother in-law. Nope, he wouldn’t have anything to do with him.

Another reason Ronnie hated Mondays, the traffic. It was hell. So when he got home, he was tired and hungry and weary and irritated. I mean, who wouldn’t get irritated when you came home to a wife you’ve never loved after wedding her for over 8 years. He hated seeing his wife, he saw her as the beginning of his bad luck. He had never dreamed of sitting behind a desk for the rest of his life, he wanted to be free. To go wherever the wind took him. It wasn’t entirely her fault but it was better than facing the truth that his father’s love for the title-CEO, dragged him into the corner he had been revolving in for over 8 years. The blunt truth, however, is still sharper than the finest dagger. So it was easier for him to take it all out on his wife and blame her for all that happened to him.

Ronnie felt baby Stacey looked like her mother. Since he didn’t like looking at his wife, why would he derive joy from gazing at the child. So he didn’t like her, which was not a secret. Even to the child herself. So when the chubby little girl saw him, she took one look at his face and ran to her mom.

Beth didn’t particularly love her husband but she respected him. He was a good man, well at least he hadn’t insulted her for 5 days now. And he called her ‘hag’, less frequently, so it was a great change. She hated the fact that her elder brother delighted in pushing tedious work to her husband. It made him cranky. Ronnie was always cranky but it made him more cranky than he usually was. She remembered the day she agreed to marry him. It was like any other day, full of hope and all kinds of customers. But the family business was close to the red line and Ronnie’s dad loved their business. He had loved it since the first time he met her dad.

It seemed like a good sacrifice, she was the only one in the family who did not partake in the business because she wanted to ‘feel her self worth’, to find something to throw herself into that would lessen the grief of their mom’s death. She felt guilty about the losses they incurred. Like if she were there, they’d make more profits. So she made the ultimate sacrifice by marrying Ronnie, to ‘solidify’ the merging of the two family businesses. Little did she know her marriage would dramatically spiral into the abyss of misery. Ronnie hadn’t wanted this, he had wanted to be a free man. She understood that he needed time to adjust to the fact that he was a married man and a father. Which meant his occasional late nights, weekly drinking, and everlasting cranky attitude would stop once he got used to that fact, right? So she would strengthen her faith. 

When she saw her daughter run over to stand behind her legs, she wasn’t surprised. it wasn’t the first time her daughter would run from Ronnie. If she wasn’t Stacey’s mom, she would have thought Ronnie wasn’t Stacey’s dad due to the distance he kept with their little girl. He wouldn’t even play with her! True, the family doctor had said that Stacey might be dyslexic, but the child was very intelligent. And dyslexia wasn’t contagious, right? She even looked like a mini version of Beth, she was so adorable.

Ronnie was eating when his phone rang and the caller was.. Fred! The nerve! He was done with work for the day so why was the dude disturbing him? However, when he picked the call, Fred told him he wanted to speak with Beth. Why couldn’t he call her on her line. Oh! Stacey had sat on her phone the previous week. He hadn’t even remembered. Though it’s not like he actually cared, right? Beth took the phone and went to the kitchen to speak with her brother. He was asking for money, again. The third time that month. She didn’t want to give him any money any longer. It was beginning to affect her savings. But when he talked about their father’s illness, she softened. If only she had joined the family business early, if only they hadn’t incurred losses, their father would still be hale and hearty, right? Just when Beth was about to concede, she felt someone take the phone from her and.. Ronnie ended the call! And why was he looking at her strangely? 

Ronnie’s phone was actually loud even when the phone was not put on speaker. He didn’t particularly hear what Beth was saying but when he heard Fred loud and clear over the phone, he knew something was wrong. He was asking for something. Of course he was. Fred never did anything himself except to take from others. Fred was talking about their father’s illness. And he was insulting Beth. He called her a ‘hag’. How dare he!! Nobody has the right to insult his wife! So he walked behind Beth, took the phone from her and ended the call. He was so angry. If it were anybody else, he might not be as angry, but this was Fred! He was expecting a reaction similar to his from Beth, but what he saw on her face shocked him to the marrow. She wasn’t angry. She was just, sad. But why? Someone had just insulted her and she was.. no, no. When Ronnie looked at her again, he noticed it. That sadness that had always been lurking there. Just there, and he had never noticed. She looked gaunt. A shadow of the beautiful woman he once knew. He had been blaming the woman for his predicament, except she had also been dragged into this labyrinth alongside him. She didn’t ask to marry him, just like he didn’t ask to marry her. She was a victim of circumstances, just like he was. From the corner of his eye, Ronnie saw Stacey walk into the kitchen. Stacey gave her dad a wide berth like he was diseased, and ran to hug her mother’s legs. 

Ronnie wanted to sink into the ground. His own daughter, avoided him like he was a leper. True, he hadn’t really acted like a good father but still. No, no. He had always acted upon his resentment and anger towards his own father. He had always acted like a fool!

That night, Ronnie didn’t sleep. His mind was racing like it was in a 100 meter dash. At about half past one, he left the embrace of his bed and went to his study table. He wondered if one could write New year resolutions in the middle of the year, especially if that someone didn’t make resolutions at the start of the year. Though he would still be cranky from time to time but he would make sure he reduced all his toxic traits. Whether it was January first or July first, he felt it didn’t really matter when you made the resolutions. What mattered was striving to accomplish them. 

So Ronnie made his new year resolutions on the first of July of that year.




January 23, 2020 05:35

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