The length of the universe can never explain our story, nor tell of the love we once shared with one another. Once upon a time, when the world was new and the thoughts of who you were weren't being destroyed by social constructions created by a broken society that hold no true value upon the human soul, you and I remain true to each other. We can only tell the lives we have lived and times shared because it is for us, and although I can't tell of our beginnings I can tell of our end and how like stars, we died centuries ago.
I lived freely and without restraint, enjoying everything that life could give me and more. The first time I saw them, I was dancing under the stars in an apple orchard, trying to remind myself of peace that came with the dark. They stood silently, watching my movements and how my dress moved with the wind as I moved. The night air was cool and although the chill didn’t bother me, it made me wonder who else would be out under the stars unless they held bad intentions for whomever they met out this late. Puzzled and anxious to leave but feeling the need to stand my ground and keep my body moving with the wind kept me from leaving where I was.
They made their way toward me, their features coming into the light of the moon and I could see their face. They were breathtaking, so much that staring was all I could and the sound of the wind drowned out any words they said. Holding my hand and it felt like I knew the hands that held mine, like a lost memory coming back to me slowly and fuzzily. I looked into their eyes and remembered a shared past that spanned over the centuries and although not every life was meant to be loved; it however was meant for us to seek and find each other.
Our story has been told over the years, with each name and tragedy different from the last. We have wandered the world, in hopes of meeting again and when we do it’s always under the stars do we meet until the crack of dawn when the world has awakened. We learn each other once more and decide how we shall live this life, never knowing if it’s the right life or should be tried again in another life. Under the stars we neither talk nor wonder just move with the trees as they blow in the wind. Known has star crossed souls meant to seek and find and figure out the world together.
The touch that sparked memories of a past once shared rushed through me, making me question so many things but holding them within an embrace that I didn’t want to let go of. We share the night away, of what we could remember and what we experienced in this life and the moment came of what we were doing now. I'm working to make a living to raise a family I had built with someone I truly loved, and they were traveling; to find themselves and where they fit in this world and to find me. I didn’t know if I should be joyful or sad at this news, after all my family small with my partner and child, and we lived happily and within means to be happy. They smiled and spoke with such gentleness I could have cried, whispering that we have crossed life after life and if in this one we are just meant to be with each other there is no lost love, and we shall keep going, after all life hasn’t stopped yet.
But looking into their eyes, I could see the deep sadness and my heart yearned to make it better but knowing I couldn’t. We were to remain free to love and exist until we sought for each other but I couldn’t lie, I have found a love I couldn’t be without. I let go of their hand and pulled away and looked at them unsure of how to tell them I wouldn’t be able to see them for the life we have lived was too deep for me to stay away. This was something we’d never done, never thought to do but in this life I had created something beautiful and without conflict I would be theirs again in another life. But they asked if we could stay and be content with the life we live now as long as we don’t fall apart. I couldn’t honor that, I can’t exist without them but will destroy who I am now for them.
The tales of our adventures can’t be written down without telling of the heartache you must experience of the loss of life and memory of them. The shattered life must keep moving forward until the end of their days, wondering if every decision made was right from the beginning. The tale of us must keep going even if we wish to end it right here and there. In love and hate, life and death and the future and past hold weight in this world and keeps the planet and people moving forward every day, so we shall keep going. And in every life one of us must break away at least once to cure a fever that comes with being held together for so long, to sooth our souls and to bring us closer once more.
There was no anger, no tears just a silence acceptances that this was not the life we were meant to be. I watched them stare at the sky and then looked into the stars, murmuring a song we used to sing to each other. Soon we were singing together, and their eyes closed, and they had a smile on their face, and they had sat under an apple tree looking peaceful. I knew as long as they walked this earth in this life, I would want to seek them out and destroy the life I’ve created.
I unsheathed the knife I kept with me and laid my head against their shoulder, the decision had to be made but for some reason my hands shook with fear and I could feel the tears in my eyes. I knew I had stopped singing along when I looked up and saw their eyes, so kind looking at me and then the knife. The sweet words of forgiveness rang out and I stabbed and stabbed with my screams and tears and then gurgling as they coughed up blood from my assault. I will keep this life and meet them in the next, but for some reason the cost was too much that I felt I had lost a piece of myself when the last bit of life left their eyes.
A story as old as time itself, if not older; told by the souls who kept coming back to this world searching for each other. They lived as mortals do and did unto each other as mortals do, and although they could be regarded as more; who can say that no matter what shape love comes in, somehow the betrayal can come at any time and from the ones closest to you.
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