Losing a Face

Ellie rocked slowly on her chair, arms wrapped around her raised knees. She stared at the material of her jeans, muttering in an attempt to comfort herself. “It's okay, it's okay. You're in the middle of nowhere. No-one's going to introduce themselves out here. You know the postman, and Hope's coming over later. It's okay, it's okay.”

A knock on the door. She froze. No. It couldn't be anyone new. There was no-one within miles of her. It must be Ned, the postman.

She brushed her auburn hair out of her face. Breathing slowly, she stood up, and made her way to the door. She tugged at the linen curtains and looked outside. It was only Ned. He gave her a friendly wave and indicated gently to the door.

Ellie sighed with relief and opened the door. Immediately, a small teenage girl rushed in and shook her hand energetically. She looked up at Ellie with awed eyes.

“Ellie Ellie Ellie I can't believe I'm actually here with you,” the girl squealed. “I love your music, I'm your biggest fan. I'm Tallulah, please call me Tally, all my friends do.” She glowed. “Can we be friends?”

Ellie resisted a cry of pain. Once again, in that way that was now so painfully familiar, the new name melted with gold letters into her brain. Another name appeared, but she couldn't read it now. It was someone she knew, someone she loved. But the letters made no sense anymore, and she couldn't recall their face.

She pulled herself together with expert speed. It never got easier, but she had to restrain herself in front of her fans.

She smiled. “Hi Tally. You must have come so far to meet me. I'm honoured.”

The girl didn't seem to notice her stiffness. She beamed. “I just had to see you. I told Millie – my best friend, she met you about two years ago–“

“Oh, Millie. I suppose she hacked a system somewhere and figured out where I was so she could tell you, right?”

Tallulah's mouth dropped. She squealed. “So it's really truly true! You do remember everyone. It must be amazing.”

Ellie gave an inaudible sigh. “Everyone.” Except those she knew before the wish. It's all fun and games... until someone loses a face, or a name.

She knew there was a reason why she'd been so desperate not to be introduced to anyone lately. The anti-memory had been closing in gradually, and lately... Tallulah's introduction must have taken the memory of someone dear to her. Who else would she have to lose before she found peace? Surely – surely it would stop when the last person she knew before the wish was forgotten?

She fought to restrain herself. She'd gone three years without giving herself away; she wasn't about to break now.

After a few minutes of subtle hints and gentle nudges towards the door, Ellie managed to rid herself of Tally. The girl was sweet, spending so much time and effort to try to reach her, but Ellie wasn't in the mood to appreciate her commitment.

She sat down in her chair again, wrapped her arms around her legs, and cried. Every second brought back the image of Tallulah's name. Every second served as a reminder that she had lost the name and face of someone very close to her. A name and face she could never remember again.

記憶

Ellie woke up to the sound of a person rummaging through drawers in her small kitchen. Her head whipped up, but she threw it back down again. The intruder had to think she was still asleep.

She tipped her head slightly to the side, so she could keep an eye on the person as they searched for something in her kitchen. It was a woman. About thirty, with light brown, slightly curled hair just past her shoulders, wearing a tight violet t-shirt and black leggings. Ellie noted her appearance, from the clothes to the tear-shaped earrings she wore, in case she had to describe her later.

The woman had found what she wanted now. She took it out of the drawer with confidence and placed it on the marble counter, next to a white plastic bag. Ellie strained to see the object. She gulped. A knife. The woman reached up and opened a cupboard, taking out a small plate and placing it next to the knife without hesitation.

Ellie froze. No. She couldn't know this person... but it all fitted into place. The way the woman moved – opening cupboards as if she knew exactly what was in there, handling things as if they were her own. Those tell-tale signs of someone at home that she'd taught herself to notice... just in case she came across a situation like this. She recalled the feeling she'd had when Tallulah introduced herself. She'd come here, to the middle of nowhere, so she wouldn't lose the face of someone close to her.

This was... this was that person.

Ellie choked back a sob. The woman in the kitchen turned her head. Her face lit up in a smile before she realised that Ellie was crying. She rushed over to her and put her arms around her.

“It's okay, El. It's okay. What's the problem?” the woman asked gently, stroking her hair with one hand.

Ellie tried to clear her eyes, but the mist of tears cleared her vision and she knew she was just waving her hands around uselessly. “I'm sorry,” she murmured. “I'm sorry–“ She stopped herself and her tears intensified. She shouldn't have tried to recall the name. It only made it worse.

The woman's green eyes lit up with understanding, and she pulled Ellie closer. “It's okay. I know. You've forgotten me, haven't you. I'm Hope, okay? Your sister. You can trust me. It's okay.”

Ellie found herself smiling slightly, tears curling onto her lips, but she couldn't feel the happiness or relief the smile must have found the fuel from. At least her sister was here... but she couldn't feel the connection they were supposed to have. She couldn't feel the emotion that made Hope so desperate to comfort her. Only the soothing caress of Hope's hand on her hair, the faint pressure of her arms around her. It was something, at least.

When Ellie had calmed down at last, Hope stepped back and stood up. She smiled half-heartedly, knowing how important it was for her sister to think she was fine. “How did someone find you out here?” She moved into the kitchen and began unpacking food from the bag.

Ellie answered in an expressionless voice. “Friend of Millie's – my first fan. She hacks. I don't know how she managed to find me, but she gave the location to that girl. Really wanted to see me, apparently.” She sighed.

Hope unpacked two bread rolls, and used the knife to split them. “Well, look on the bright side,” she said, eyes shimmering. “You've got no-one else to forget.”

“No, I–“ Ellie began. She stopped. Her eyes widened. She didn't have anyone else. But... “Not you. I don't have you anymore.”

Hope turned away so Ellie wouldn't see her face if she started crying. She couldn't let her sister know how little hope she had. “I could... leave, and we could get to meet somewhere and I would be a stranger... if you get what I mean.”

“So you'll tell me a fake name, and I get to know you with that one?”

“Yeah. That.” Hope unpacked sandwich ingredients, fixing her whole attention on her task.

“But... I won't remember your face. You still have to introduce yourself every time you meet me... it won't work, sis.” Ellie wiped away a tear that had crept out from under her eyelids.

“No accepting defeat. You realise what happens if you just stop thinking about it?”

Ellie took a deep breath. “I never get to see you again. Or, I have to keep meeting you and getting to know you again.”

“Exactly.” Hope paused. Her hands stopped midway through cutting a pepper. She turned to her sister. “How about I get a veil? You don't have to remember my face if you never see it... you just have to remember my fake name and label it 'sister, who wears a veil'.”

Ellie stood up. “That might work. It might.” She turned to Hope and smiled. “It really might.”