The Red Line

There was always very little food in the house, they almost starved most days, a full stomach was a distant dream for them, she could see the food in posters, people eating in restaurants but she couldn't taste it.

There were always bills to pay, that they barely managed to pay, their electricity was always on the verge of being cut and every time she woke up, she didn't know that she would be able to switch on the lights at night!

There were so many things that the world had to offer but there was a catch, it wasn't free and if something wasn't free she couldn't afford it, she could feast her eyes for a while, but she knew no matter how much she desired it, she could never make something her own!

From all the delicious food she felt compelled to ignore, to the well furnished beautiful homes she saw in billboards, the desire to make it somehow her's always grappled her, but she knew no matter how hard she wanted something the universe didn't give you things based on desire alone!

She was sick and tired of living like that, not knowing when she would get the next meal or whether she would even get it at all, whenever she looked at other people who were in a better position than her, she was filled with envy, she wondered why she couldn't be like them?

She craved for the security that she saw others enjoy, she wanted to be able to live without the fear of starving to death, without fearing another day and all the distressing things it had in store for her, she was wrapped in a blanket but it had no warmth and comfort, only poverty and discomfort.

She thought long and hard of all the ways she could get out of her situation, she was sure if things stayed the way they were, she wouldn't live long and she couldn't tolerate another moment of having to look at something broken and not have the power to fix it.

She found the emerging tech to be her saviour, she worked two jobs to pay for college, she knew if she was able to get a degree, it would open doors for her that were otherwise not available to people like her, her years of hardwork finally paid off when she landed a job at a big tech firm, for the first time in her life she felt secure!

The pay was good and she was able to move to a good house and eat all the food she always wanted to try, the burger, doughnuts, pizza, all felt extra tasty now that she could buy it without thinking of anything else.

It all felt like a dream, she felt she didn't have to fear another day, her life had changed for the better and there were better things to relish and enjoy out there, more and more doors were opening for her!

The office was bigger than she could ever imagine, she stood there awestruck the first time she saw it, she had to pinch herself to believe she was not in a dream but living one!

As she slowly got settled into her new life, things that she had earlier enjoyed had started to become dull, a new fear had gripped her, what if all this did not last long?, what if this dream was gone in a flash?, she had crossed the red line of poverty but there was no gurantee she would fall right back into it!

The news of tech layoffs were all over the place, everyone was worried about their career and future but her colleagues who came from more well to do families didn't have the fears that she had.

Every time she looked at a burger or salad that she had for lunch, she felt scared whether it would be the last good meal she would ever have, how many days will she have to starve again?

The warmth and comfort of her home bothered her, she no longer felt comfortable in it, it no longer gave her the happiness it gave her earlier, it only reminded her again and again of how awful things could be and that there was no gurantee that they wouldn't go back to being the same!

Familiarity gives people a sense of comfort, but to her it was a reminder of all the things she wanted to forget, the past that she thought she had left behind, but the past that refused to leave her!

Poverty had traumatized her, poverty haunted her like a vengeful spirit that refused to let go no matter what all one tried, and she felt helpless to poverty, she thought she had defeated it, only to be reminded that there was no such thing as defeating poverty!

She had become more critical of her work every passing day, she felt her work wasn't good enough and she was just inches away from being fired, she felt like she had climbed out of a deep hole, only to fall back again!

She was not sleeping well or eating enough, she looked like a mess, and she didn't need anyone pointing it out for her, all the stress of going back to how things were was getting it to her.

How much money was enough to keep you away from poverty?, maybe that was a question no one had the answer to, no matter how much wealth a person acquired, that question was always there somewhere in the back of their mind, she knew she had to take control over her life, so she resigned from her job before they fired her, she counted on her savings and experience to sail her through for a while.

She decided to freelance or try something she had more control over, she was tired of depending on someone even if it guranteed her certainty because certainty was something she had craved earlier but now it bothered her.