The Key to Peace

The So-Called Fight

Them’s fighting words, Araleen thought to herself but said nothing. Over coffee, her best friend had just told her she was too quick to give in to others when they bossed her around. She knew Candice was right. Even now, in this moment when she felt like her friend was being too pushy, Araleen didn’t have the strength to rebut her position. It had been this way for years. 

Not just with her friend, but almost everyone she knew. Her 11-year-old daughter, Shea, told her she was a pushover at least once a month. Araleen understood the consequences of standing down all the time: Bosses overworked her, friends and partners took advantage of her kind nature, and even her daughter tended to skip over chores when she didn’t feel like doing them - all because Ara could not stand up for herself.

Araleen didn’t know how to repair this deep pain that was hidden in her soul. She understood it was more than just being shy or introverted. There was a strong fear buried within her which made her believe she was incapable of sticking up for herself. If she did, people might leave her – or worse yet, send her on her way. 

She looked up to Candice’s face. Her friend had been calling her name, but she didn’t hear her. 

“Ara, are you even listening to me? I said I think you need to seek professional help for this. If you don’t start standing up to people, they are going to walk all over you for the rest of your life. Don’t you remember how it was at the law firm?” 

Candice always called her Ara when she wanted her attention. She really didn't mind the nickname, but knew what her friend was trying to do. She was trying to 'take charge' of Araleen.

Araleen felt tears swell up in her eyes. She knew all too well what happened at the law firm. How she had been working 60 hours a week, trying to keep up with an impossible workload of more than 1000 people she needed to follow up with regularly. Overworked and underpaid, that was the name of her game.

She also knew she had to work that much to pay her bills and keep Shea fed. That’s why she did it. Candice didn’t understand this, despite being a single mom herself several years before. 

However, Candice never had to do it on her own. Her ex-husband was always around to take on the children and pay child support. Araleen never had those luxuries; she was all alone in this. 

Taking a deep breath, Araleen closed her eyes and let the tears fade back into the distance. She was not ready to let Candice see her in this state. She wanted to show fearlessness and grace, despite the turmoil she felt within. 

“I think I need to be alone for a while, Candice. I’m going to do a tarot reading for myself. I’ll text you later on when I feel more like talking,” said Araleen. She rose from her seat and retreated towards her bedroom to grab her deck. Candice sat in the chair silently sipping her coffee. 

The Would-Be Reading

As Ara reached for the Rider-Smith deck she loved so dearly, a book fell onto the ground. It was an astrology book that she usually ignored. The book’s pages had fallen open to Chiron, whose planetary symbol is the key. Picking up the book, she began to read about the comet, which she learned was only discovered just under fifty years ago. 

As she read further, she discovered that Chiron is the wounded healer – the centaur from Greek mythology who reincarnated over many lives to try to heal his original injury. Reading this, Araleen realized she was in need of healing herself. That was the reason Chiron was calling to her. 

Yes, that is what the message was, but what needed to be healed exactly? She didn’t really understand. Araleen had always believed that so long as she didn’t make any waves with others that everything would always work out. That is why she walked away to do her reading, so she would not have to engage with Candice about the upsetting subject. 

She was afraid if she stood up to her friend, that it would lead to a fight. It was always the but if I do that, then this will happen… scenario. Then it hit her, smack in the face. 

The thing Araleen needed to heal most was her fear. 

Once she realized this, it had the opposite effect of what she believed she should feel: Strength. Yet, no strength was to be found at that moment. Araleen felt more afraid than ever. 

Accepting the pain that one causes her own difficulties is not an easy task; she knew this well.  That is why she retreated like a turtle into her shell every time a challenge presented itself. She had left her last position at the law firm with no notice, and didn’t care. 

They didn’t treat me right at that place. They overworked me. They chose to ignore my requests for a higher wage so I didn’t have to work so many hours. They pushed me to leave. I left so I wouldn’t have to put up with that lousy treatment anymore. 

Most importantly, the job was making me sick. 

All these excuses and more flooded through her head. Were these genuine answers to the question of why she left? Or was there more to the story? Araleen had to know more, but as she tried to read further, she felt her head drooping. She didn’t realize just how tired she’d become. 

The Sunken-Chest Dream 

Araleen found herself standing on a boat, deep in the middle of the Hudson River. It was raining on her and the people gathered around, but she could not feel the cold. The sun was peeking between the clouds, casting a glint of rainbow on the water. The crowd was chattering amongst themselves, all huddled around the starboard side of the tugboat. A hushed silence went up as something was lowered into the river. 

She strained to see over the shoulders of the very tall man in front of her, but to no avail. Araleen decided to jump and see if she could get over him, leapfrog style. She felt silly attempting such a feat, but why not? She needed to see what everyone was gawking at in the water down below. 

As she leapt upward, she found herself floating above the crowd like a kite attached by a string in the hand of a young child barely holding on. She realized she readily had the eyesight of an osprey and could see beyond the glare of the water surrounding the boat. Her eyes picked up the sight of a chest beneath the surface of the river. There were ropes and pulleys leading down into the water, but the chest was submerged a good six feet under.

Ara floated up there for what felt like ages, watching the crowd and scene beneath her. Just as she was beginning to bore, a man emerged from the water and waved to the crowd. 

It was Harry Houdini. 

Her eyes popped open and she sat bolt upright in the chair she had been dozing in. Why was she dreaming of Houdini, of all people? What did this even mean?

The Brain-Key Connection

Araleen immediately began researching about the famous magician. What was his secret? Did he hold the key to her healing? She had to find out. 

As she poured through her internet research, a most important quote of his made its way to her. It was a quote she had never seen or heard before:

“My brain is the key which sets my mind free.”

The key being the symbol of Chiron, and Chiron being the key to healing made Araleen think there must be some sort of connection, but she couldn’t put the pieces together yet. There was still more to the story, more detective work to be done on her healing quest. 

What exactly did Houdini mean by that? And why did he say it? Did he know about Chiron?

Picking up her astrology oracle deck, Black Moon by Susan Sheppard, she decided to look at the section in the booklet about Chiron. What was Chiron’s corresponding tarot card, anyhow? Peeking at the back of the page where it gave her the cheat sheet, Araleen looked at the correspondence card: The Hanged Man. 

Chills ran down Ara's spine as she recognized she’d found yet another connection between Chiron and Houdini. Harry Houdini was famous for being hung upside as an escape artist. 

 The Great-Escape Magic

Araleen sat dumbfounded in her chair, wondering how this all made sense. Was there some sort of relationship between her behavior as an escape artist in life and Houdini’s act? Was she the one who had been putting on the act all this time? His performances were an act, while they were also his life. He went from place to place, putting on a show. Is that what he was trying to tell her she needed to stop doing?

Or, perhaps, there was a more important message hidden behind this escape act. Maybe it was that Houdini wanted her to know it is her brain that was keeping her from her mind being free. 

Was that it? If so, how was it that this could be applied in her own life? What was she supposed to do about it?

Ara felt hopeful, but…there was that fear again. She began to think more carefully about fear. How did Houdini overcome his fear when being essentially sent to drown? He did real magic, feats that could never be replicated by anyone ever again.

Feeling drained, Araleen picked up the remote control and turned on the television. The host on the program was discussing Arthur Conan Doyle, the author of the Sherlock Holmes stories. Araleen almost changed the channel when she heard the announcer say Doyle was friends with Houdini. They knew each other. 

As she watched, she learned that Doyle believed Houdini was a gifted psychic who could transform his body the same way Araleen had manipulated her body inside her own dream. Houdini denied any psychic ability and responded to Doyle’s assertions with his famous line, “My brain is the key which sets my mind free.”

At that moment, Candice knocked on the door. She hadn’t left. She wasn’t going to let up on the previous conversation until she had closure on Ara’s position. 

The Fight-or-Flight Response

As Candice walked into the room, Araleen’s palms began to sweat, and she felt her anxiety build. Her chest was pounding through her shirt – she could feel its vibration. Candice began to open her mouth to speak, when Araleen put up her hand to indicate to her friend to halt. 

Ara turned on the radio. Simon and Garfunkel came through the speakers, “I am a rock, I am an island…” Araleen smiled to herself because she knew this was a funny joke meant just for her. Candice shook her head at her friend, knowing this was some sort of Ara thing that she would not be able to comprehend. That, however, did not stop Candice from trying to speak again. 

“Ara,” she began, “I just want to finish talking about what I was saying to you earlier. I think you should see a psychologist, or a counselor, or something…what do you think?”

Araleen’s breaths began to get faster, and more shallow. She didn’t want Candice’s input. She knew she had her own ways of dealing with things, even if they didn’t always serve her. Araleen was a Sun in Taurus. She needed to move in a different way than her Fire-energy friend, Candice, the one who always knew how to take charge of a situation. 

Then she remembered Houdini and his mantra, “My brain is the key which sets my mind free.” Taking a moment, she knew she could not respond right away. Her breathing was too fast, her heart was pumping, and she felt like she was about to collapse. Remembering something from a long time ago buried deep in her subconscious, she heard the word: BREATHE.  

Drawing in her breath slowly through her nose and releasing out through her mouth, she knew what she had to do. She had to stand up to her friend before her healing could begin. Even if it meant ending a friendship, so what? If her friend couldn’t take her true feelings, then this person wasn’t really her friend to begin with, was she?

“Candice, I appreciate your input. However, it’s not your place to decide what is right for my life. It’s very important to me that you recognize that I care about how you feel and what you want. However, a boundary needs to be set between us before I can begin to stand up for myself in larger settings. That being said, I need you to please go home now. I will consider your opinion and we can discuss it further at a later time. Thank you for respecting my feelings and space.”

Dumbfounded, Candice looked at Araleen as though she had grown an extra head. “Excuse me, Ara? Did you just ask me to leave? I was only trying to help you!” exclaimed Candice. 

Araleen closed her eyes. She had known her friend would respond this way; it was the ultimate sign of their codependency. Araleen knew the old ‘trying to help’ excuse is code for “I want to control you,” but recognized her friend would not accept this explanation. What she also knew, was that she was the only one who could change her own behavior – she could not change Candice’s. 

She had a choice: fight or flight? What would Houdini do, she wondered to herself. He would fight, she knew. He was no coward. 

The Healing-Key Answer

Araleen looked at Candice. She was not going to give in to her friend, not this time. She decided to make a bold move. 

“Candice, I would like you to return my house key, please.” 

Shocked, Candice stared at her friend in horror. This could not be real – Ara never stood up to anyone, but especially not her best friend! She reached into her purse and removed the tiny silver key from the rest of the dangling set. Candice had many more keys that her friend did; Ara had never noticed this before. Maybe it meant something. Araleen only kept two keys on her ring. 

As Candice reached over to drop the key into Araleen’s hand, the lights flickered above them both. Araleen knew this meant she was doing the right thing - whether that meant it was a message from Harry Houdini himself, she would never know. Yet, she had finally set a boundary with her friend and that was more important to her than anything else. 

Ara's breathing slowed as she grasped onto the key. She explained to Candice that she would consider returning it to once her friend could learn to respect her space and wishes. Candice never called Araleen again. There would be birthday messages on Facebook, sure, but no longer Candice could set foot through that door without her permission.

And somehow, that gave Araleen peace.