Forever in our hearts

The sun rose, surrounded by a halo of crimson and gold, and its warm rays filtered through the heavy curtains. She was already awake though and fully dressed. Dark hair, floating down to her shoulders in loose curls. Long lashes framing glassy grey eyes. Glossy red lips. A crisp white shirt and a loose black skirt. Sheer black stockings and patent pumps. She checked the the silver watch adorning her slim wrist. It was 6 o'clock. She had to meet Ava at nine, but there was nothing to be gained from sitting idle as the minutes ticked by so, she got up quietly, grabbing her coat and keys, and hastened out the door.

It was a gorgeous day out, with a cerulean sky and threads of sunlight weaving through the clouds and bathing the city in its watery glow. The bell tinkled softly as she pushed open the door of the small tea shop. It was quaint, but charmingly so. Plush armchairs and bouncy pouffes littered the room. Dark wood paneling lined most of the walls and there was an electric fireplace in the corner, which was probably for show because the shop had central heating. One of the walls was covered entirely by shelves and the curtains were drawn so the space was lit by fairy lights and paper mache lamps. She carefully perched on the sofa, waving away the waitress.

Her heels clicked against the floor impatiently until, after many reproachful looks from the owner, she picked up a book lying on one of the wooden tables and tried to get lost in the story. From the moment her hand touched it though, she knew she wouldn't be able to read it. The pages were too crisp and the ink too sharp and the spine was too tight. Her own books were more worn, with faded words and the musky scent of old paper. And besides, there was too much on her mind.

People had begun to arrive now. People she vaguely recognized, friends of her parents or neighbors she had grown up next to, smiled at her. The rest glanced at her surreptitiously, their eyebrows furrowed and their lips caught between their teeth. They were suspicious of her. They thought her to be different. And truthfully, she couldn't deny that she was.

After what seemed like an eternity, Ava walked in. Everybody always said that Ava was the complete opposite of her, what with her messy windblown strawberry blonde hair and her freckled sun kissed skin and piercing green eyes. But there had never been two closer friends.

"Adeline" she called out, grinning and waving. And Adeline couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. Ava hugged her, enfolding her in flowery warmth and they sat down in one of the corner booths. Adeline ordered two cups of Earl Grey tea and honey. For a while, the conversation between them flowed effortlessly. That is until a man walked by, bestowing Adeline with a cynical glance. The moment seemed to bring whatever was bothering her to the forefront of her mind and she placed her cup down, drumming her fingers against the table absentmindedly.

There was a brief pause.

"So, how've you been?" Ava asked. She had obviously noticed what happened but she was tactful enough not to mention it.

Adeline seemed to contemplate her answer for a few moments, sipping her drink, before she answered shortly, "Fine, I suppose."

The other girl cocked her head to the side. "You never could hide anything from me."

"What makes you say that?"

"Nothing." Ava said maddeningly.

"Would you at least te-"

"You look well though."

It was silent again.

Adeline sighed, signalling the waitress again. This time, she brought two mugs of hot chocolate, complete with mounds of whipped cream and tiny pink marshmallows. Adeline picked up her cup, stirring it for a long time. Her face was scrunched up and she was evidently deep in thought. Ava, to her credit, waited patiently and didn't broach the subject again.

"Ava, the night that you-" Adeline glanced at Ava apprehensively, but her face was impassive so she continued. "The night that I woke up in the hospital, I couldn't remember anything. My head hurt and my mouth was dry. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was hooked up to a dozen machines and tubes. I don't even remember that much but I was terrified. I mean, all I could remember was that I had been driving with you next to me and then-"

"Then, everything went black." Ava said, nodding. "That's all that I remembered when I woke up too. But its been years now. I don't get why you haven't moved on, Adeline."

Adeline looked up, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "I can't move on. I just can't."

Ava's surprisingly warm hand covered her own, "Listen to me, Adeline. This isn't healthy. You've been holding on for a really long time and you need to let go now. Even my parents have gotten over it. I'm touched that you care. I truly am. But we can't go over this again and again every time I come to see you. I'm starting to worry that seeing me affects you even more."

Adeline gripped her hand like a vice, "No. If you don't come, I'm not sure I have anything left to hang on for."

Ava's expression was pained but she sighed, "All right."

Adeline took this as an indication to move forward. "When the nurses came in, they were surprised to see me awake. They said that it was a miracle that I was alive. I'd been in a coma for a month and my body was rejecting every treatment. But I didn't care. I wanted to know if you were alright. So, I asked them. At first, you know, they told me that rest was necessary for recovery and they wouldn't really give me any news. I guess I kind of knew, on some level. I mean, if you were still alive, we'd be in the same ward or we'd have met each other. But, when they told me, I just-"

Ava rubbed her hand soothingly but even her touch was faint. She wasn't real, of course, to anyone but Adeline.

The waitress came and took away the two empty cups and the two full ones. If she wondered why Adeline had ordered drinks for two, she showed no outward sign of it.

Ava spoke, "Adeline, you should know that I don't blame you. I know that it's the reason that you still ask me to meet you. You want to believe that I'm still here. That nothing has changed. And for the most part, nothing has changed. We're still best friends. We always will be. Believe me when I say that death won't change that. But you need to carry on with your life."

Adeline looked like she was about to argue but Ava cut her off, "I'm not asking for you to forget. I'm just asking for you to try and get on in the best way that you can. People will think you're delusional if you keep this up, Adeline, and you can't keep running either. You shifted from four different towns in the past two years. This is our hometown, Adeline and people still remember us so they're kind. But trust me, even these people are pretty fickle. So if you can't do this for yourself, do it for me."

"Okay." Adeline said. "Okay."

It was a repetitive conversation, one that the'd had at least once every two years. But maybe this time, she would make it work. She would rebuild her future. If only for those whom she had left behind in her past.

She dropped a couple of dollar bills on the tables, leaving a generous tip on the table for the waitress who had been kind enough not to pry. Both girls stood up and walked outside. Ava smiled at her, "Whenever you want to, we'll meet for tea again. But do try to take my advice, alright?"

"I will." And then they embraced. She watched as Ava faded into the crowd. She wouldn't come back out on the other side. But that was alright.

Adeline turned around, feeling slightly drained but happier than she had in a long time. She stopped by the florist and bought a bunch of flowers, pastel lilies and deep-red roses with small white blooms poking out from between them, and then walked the three miles to the cemetery. She walked inside, passing the rows and rows of dead relatives and friends until she reached Ava's grave. She had visited so many times that she practically remembered the words etched on Ava's gravestone. It read-

Ava Crassus

Beloved daughter, wonderful sister and a lifelong friend

Forever in out hearts

Adeline carefully placed the bouquet over it. She smiled, even though her eyes were watering. It was a sad smile but a smile all the same and she wondered if Ava could see it from heaven.