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Contemporary Drama Funny

“Stace? Can you come here for a sec?” Brad yells into the kitchen, worry evident in the wavering of his voice.

“Yeah, hold up. Let me finish cutting the tomatoes.”

“I’m kind of freaking out right now, Stacey. The tomatoes can wait.”

“Okay, okay, I’m coming. No need to be mean about it,” Stacey puts down her knife, and wipes her hands on a towel. The last thing she needs is to get tomato seeds everywhere.

“I’m not being mean! It’s just-” Brad holds in a breath before letting it out slowly. “Oh-my-fucking-god-Stacey-I-killed-the-fish.” Brad bites his lip and waits for Stacey’s reaction. He’s not really sure how she’s going to react.

“Whose fish? Ava’s fish?!”

“Maybe. I swear I tried to keep it alive, but you know I’m not good at this type of thing.”

“Okay, um,” Stacey runs a hand through her hair and groans. They had one job. Ava was going to be at sleep-away camp for two weeks. That’s it. They had two weeks to keep Prince Sparkles the fish alive, and they killed him after two nights.

“I can go to the pet store later and get a new one. Or, better yet, we can get a new one the day before Ava gets home!” Brad seems satisfied with his idea, and starts to walk into the kitchen to finish dinner.

“No! No way in hell. She deserves to know, Brad.”

“Why? She’s ten. We can get her a new one. It’s not that hard to find a blue fish. Worst comes to worst, we can tell her that Prince Sparkles just took a trip upstream. That way, we won’t even have to get a new one.” Stacey might think it’s important to tell Ava what happened, but Brad thinks this option is a win-win. No harm no foul, right?

“No! Events like that can be scarring for a child. Next thing you know, she’ll be asking to take a trip upstream to visit him! Then what do we tell her, huh?” Stacey throws her hands into the air. She knows she needs to stay calm, but it’s a little hard considering how idiotic Brad is being. Brad can tell his sister that her fish died. It’s not that fucking hard.

Stacey walks back into the kitchen before she says something stupid. She continues to chop the tomatoes, and dumps them into a salad. After quickly mixing in some dressing, she tosses it into the fridge. Brad just needs to calm down, and then he’ll see reason.

But Brad doesn’t feel the same way. He’s not done with this argument. If he lets Stacey walk away, that means she wins. And if she wins, that means that he has to tell Ava that her stupid fish died. Then she’ll cry and then he’ll cry because he just can’t help himself. Why can’t he just have normal tear ducts like everyone else?

He doesn’t want to cry, and he certainly doesn’t want Ava to cry, so it makes the most sense to just replace the fish. Sounds like a pretty good idea to him.

“Don’t come in here!” Stacey’s voice echoes from the kitchen like she could hear his thoughts. In reality, she just knows him really well, and knows that he’s not done discussing this.

“Why the hell not, Stacey? It’s not your apartment!”

“Oh my god, Brad! Stop! Can we discuss this after dinner? Please?” Stacey leaves Brad to go into the dining room. She’s setting the table, but she’s also trying to avoid him.

Brad follows her and slams his hands against the table, “No! She’s my sister and she’s going to be fucking devastated if she learns that her fish is dead.”

“She’s going to be even more devastated if she learns we lied about the fact that her fish is dead! And she’ll figure it out! Ten year olds are really fucking smart!” Stacey smacks their plates onto the table across from Brad’s hands. They both wince when the plates go flying back up. Stacey mumbles out a swear, and evens out them out.

Brad pulls his hands off the table, and leans against the wall. He stiffly crosses his arms and then uncrosses them. He doesn’t look happy. Instead, he has a grim expression on his face. “Maybe you should go home Stacey. I don’t think you should stay over tonight.”

“The fuck? You can’t kick me out because of the fish!”

“Yeah, I can! You’re being stubborn and I don’t want you here.”

“I’m sorry, are you five? This is petty, Brad.”

“I can be petty if I want!” Brad retorts. Stacey almost expects Brad to stomp his foot and throw a tantrum. Well, more of a tantrum. How did the fish dying escalate into this?

“I guess I’ll go then.” Stacey walks towards Brad’s room. She has her head held high, but that doesn’t mean her pride isn’t wounded. She hates that Brad doesn’t want her here. They might be fighting, and he might be making a really stupid decision, but that definitely doesn’t mean she wants to go home.

As she walks into the room, she looks over her shoulder at Brad. He’s not looking at her. Instead, he’s glaring at the floor, his arms crossed again. He only does that when he’s mad.

Fine. Let him be mad.

Stacey grabs her purse and phone from off his bed and pulls on her sweatshirt. It’s not cold out, in fact it’s probably almost eighty degrees, but it’s buggy out, and she most definitely doesn’t want to leave her sweatshirt with Brad. Not when he’s being such a dick.

“Stace? Can you come here for a sec?” Brad calls Stacey in from the living room. He’s not apologizing, but it’s still pretty crazy news.

“I thought you didn’t want me here.”

“Stacey. Please.”

Stacey walks out and stands next to Brad. “Holy fucking shit.”

“Yup,” Brad nods and takes Stacey’s hand. He feels guilty now, and wants to make it up to her.

He looks down at Stacey, a shocked expression still plastered onto his face. “How about we go out for dinner tonight?”

“Yeah. Yeah, let’s go.” The pair quickly walks out of the apartment, leaving the fish behind.

The fish who’s swimming loops in his tank, not a care in the world. It’s like Prince Sparkles was never gone. Or maybe he just came back from the dead. Either way, both Stacey and Brad can agree that they really hate that stupid fish.

December 02, 2020 01:00

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