The Wait Wasn’t Worth It

My man and baby daddy Sloppy Drunk; I mean Sloppy Seconds primary and only goal in life. His main objective. His soul purpose for living. His reason of all reasons was to become a Big Time rapper like his idol “Chali 2na” who is not only named after a fish, but after a fish that's a mascot for canned tuna-in effect, a sellout rapping fish who gets paid to convince people to eat his family.

For 12 long years I patiently waited for my man Harvey Bean aka Sloppy Joe; I mean Sloppy Seconds to reach the pinnacle of success to fulfilled his lifetime unrealistic goal of becoming the world’s number one rapper of all time.

Every other day I was forced to listen to his daily mantra, that was those times when the wanna be rapper imitating the look of Lil Wayne finally made it home.

I had to listen to Sloppy Intellect; I mean Sloppy Seconds subjectively, in a way that was always based on my personal feelings, tastes or opinions:  I want the cash! I want the clothes! I want the cars! I want the groupies! I want the drugs! I want the guns! I want the shows! I want the funds! I just want everything that comes with being a renowned famous rapper and more and if you can't get with it, then get out the door! I want an ego! I want a repost! I want the v-live! I wanna beat the chicks!

The only goals Sloppy Ass; I mean Sloppy Seconds actually achieved was rapping in and out of jail, his disrespect towards me, constantly broke as a joke, being many someone else’s baby daddies on numerous occasions and becoming the laughingstock of the entire rapper’s world.

In spite of every recording company telling him he shouldn’t quit his day job, in which he never had one unless you counted Sloppy Work, I mean Sloppy Seconds making license plates in the state penitentiary.

Year after mentally painstakingly and heart breaking year, rejection after harsh rejection I waited for him to reach is goal.

The only good thing I will attest to is the fact that Sloppy Translation; I mean Sloppy Seconds was persistent.

It never concerned him that we had two children and were residing in a low housing rat and drug infested development until I took the initiative to obtain a college degree in Behavioral Neuroscience and became the real bread winner of the family.

Behavioral Neuroscience, also known as biological psychology, biopsychology or psychobiology is the application of the principles of biology to the study of physiological, genetic and developmental mechanisms of behavior in humans and other rapping animals.

You would of thought with the knowledge and understanding I acquired through diligent educational training I would have known that his idiotic human nature underachieving goal to being taken seriously as a rapper was doomed to fail miserably.

I would have long left Sloppy Mess; I mean Sloppy Seconds a long time ago.

Yet by me being as loyal as anyone who loved their man more than themselves I stayed in that one sided relationship and it just wasn’t for little Sloppy Jr. or Queen Fiber aka’s Harvey Jr. and Alice.

In a short time after getting a lucrative job I was able to get the 4 of us out the violent hood and into the suburbs.

I even took out a second mortgage to build Sloppy Dressing; I mean Sloppy Seconds a music studio in our two car garage.

Still today I don’t believe not one of his rap songs got any slight consideration or received any attention or radio time outside of the trash cans.

His rapping was so bad I had to get rid of our Rottweiler dog Slim Pickens aka Rudy. The only rapping he was good at was getting underage girls pregnant.

Even after ten years of being Sloppy Kisses; I mean Sloppy Seconds fiancée he still insisted that we weren’t ready to marry until he hit the big time and truly fulfilled his goal.

I was so bent over in love with the tattooed covered wanna be rapper that I was determined to stay in our dysfunctional relationship because it was somehow simpler for me and the children to be dependent on the daily drama than it was to take responsibility for his wayward actions where that caused us mental anguish and pain.

It took me to year 11 of our truly unstable relationship that maybe just maybe Sloppy Room; I mean Sloppy Seconds wasn’t cut out to be no rapper.

Yet, I unintentionally and immediately washed out that insanely believed insecure that thought out of my loving him to death head knowing that my man would one day prove he was actually capable of his achieving his ultimate goal of being seen and recognized more than that crazy or insane rapper Kanye West.

When I demanded that the two of us seek relationship counseling I soon discovered that men like Sloppy Sex; I mean Sloppy Seconds that there were various reasons why men like Sloppy Endings; I mean Sloppy Seconds were slow to agree to counseling or coaching.

In general, men like Sloppy Underwear; I mean Sloppy Seconds have been conditioned to be self-contained.

It was scientifically diagnosed that he rappingly and insanely was hail to believe in  that he possessed a warrior stance even though I always believed it was a nonrealistic rapper stance.

Wanna be rappers like Sloppy Life; I mean Sloppy Seconds don’t rapperly display feelings and vulnerability to strangers or anyone who might turn against them, which includes just about everyone, even me.

Anyway I finally convinced Sloppy Crap; I mean Sloppy Seconds that it was vital that he attend at least one session of relationship counseling or I would repossess his rapping whore house; I mean studio.

During our first and only session I instantly began to realize that any man like Sloppy Failure; I mean Sloppy Seconds that he felt that he had tried to explain to his non believing in him significant other, only to be misunderstood and have what little he had lied about being what he had vulnerably shared would be thrown back in his tattooed covered ugly face, distorted from the intended meaning.

The heightened emotions of that session that he was being robbed from proving he was a great rapper being Sloppy Mophead; I mean Sloppy Seconds were his truths of objectivity in which I for one couldn’t take to his constant communication with me was told accurately with the counselor.

In that emotional turmoil, Sloppy Quest; I mean Sloppy Seconds typically felt lost and confused while me and the children felt frustrated and righteous about his unsuccessful rapping immaturity. That it actually created a lack of trust for him, both toward his long time believer in him and his wanna be rapping children and toward vulnerability and intimacy in general.

I supported that man in his goal for over a decade only to find out that it was me who he seriously blamed who was holding him back from achieving his goal of becoming a famous rapper.

Right after that session I realized that the wait wasn’t worth it!