The Circus

The chains were merciless as they dug into his flesh. Deep red gashes circled his ankles as he clawed at them. The iron bars that enclosed him glinted mockingly against the harsh artificial light coming from above. So unlike the sun. So unlike the warmth that washed over him as he stretched his neck as high as he could to meet the rays.

A jerk pulled him into reality as the metal suddenly cut through the raw skin as it had countless times before. He whimpered in the numb throbbing as it woke his body up. A gnarly voice struck him as his eyes lazily blinked. “Can ye keep a secret?”

It was the creature Tom. Tom’s meant pain. It was a sound he knew, they called themselves that. He heard them say it on the ship there too.

He growled lowly before he received another snatch at the chains. 

The Tom’s whole body shook as he let out a strange noise, “Ye that’ll teach ya,” he lowered his voice as if anyone else was backstage. “We gon’ take yer out ‘is night,” a smile crept onto his face as he continued, “yanno lazy thin’ like yer makes some good bit o’ cash if I do ser so me self”

He arched his back as he bared his teeth, a deep reverberation vibrated the firm bars. The Tom shook again. “Ye can’t get me out ‘ere,'' he walked toward the red curtain. “Ye show’s in a minute or two, comb ye ‘air if ye want ter eat the good stuff,” he let out the sound again. The sound meant something was about to happen. Sometimes the sound came after something happened. Tom’s do it a lot, he noticed.

He had left a sack, he thought it was food but he couldn’t be sure. His whiskers brushed against the fabric. He bit into it harshly as a bitter taste bloomed in his mouth. He kept chewing until it was liquid enough to swallow. He lapped the water, more of it out of the bowl than in, sighing as it trickled down his parched throat. 

He settled his head on his paws and shut his eyes before the blinding lights would infiltrate them for a moment. He savored the feeling of nothing, the emptiness. He allowed his mind to wander past the constant pulsing ache in his legs, past the scars that littered his matted coat, daring to attempt to blend in with the ebony stripes running across his body. They couldn’t take that from him.

The lights suddenly dimmed, indicating that the Tom’s were about to pull him past the large red blanket separating him from the rest of their jeering faces. Some weren’t always jeering though. Some stared at him in awe. Some in fear. He liked to unhinge his jaw and let his throat feel the vibrations as he roared at them. It made him feel good, in control, unlike the rest of his life.

He traveled in boxes made out of trees or the wood from them. He voyaged in cages much like the one he was in now. He has been placed in exhibits for littler Tom’s to press their noses against the glass. They often held up their own paws as a weak imitation of his grand species. But most importantly, he has lived in the jungle where trees soar up, stretching their necks to the sun. Oh, the sun. Where the water would trickle in streams. And hunting. The tension in his muscles as he crouched down, then shot off as an unstoppable machine. But he wasn’t a machine. He wasn’t a thing. He is a being.

His vision sharpened in the darker lighting, making out shapes in the par corner of the room. A crate, his size. A ripple of anger flashed through him as he attacked the metal poles, only to end up hurting himself. He did that in the beginning, but he couldn’t fight his way out, he learned. The best way was to forget. Another Tom approached him. She eyed his hunched figure before stepping forward. He growled lowly as a warning.

“Easy tiger,” she gently picked up the chain lying outside his jail. She made the sound, but hers was different. It was almost friendly, happy. “I’m gonna getchu out of here before they take you, okay?” Her eyes glistened as she stared at him sincerely. She was covered in shiny black fabric. A mask adorned her face. She sighed, “Oh lord, Eddie's gon’ be mad if he finds out it was me. He can’t ‘ear you, stupid. Ma said that talking to ones self is bad.” The Tom rambled for a minute before pausing to look at him.

She opened the cage and it screeched against the stone floor. “One las’ time, aight buddy?”  The Tom led him out, waiting for him to catch up with his limp.  He followed her glittering black silhouette, but all of her legs were exposed. He let her take him into the tunnel, the chains clinking against one another. It opened up to the side of the open area. 

He could hear the endless din of chatter coming from the packed Toms. They all made sounds endlessly. Happy, sad, mad, they made a sound. Angry was one he knew well. He’d gotten the boot too many times to know. He suspected they felt that they had power over him, but he knew if he wasn’t restrained by the silver digging into his coat, he would finally let his legs elongate, feel the ripple of his muscles as he flexed them to his full strength, they would be left in his dust.

***

She rubbed the scars on her wrist as she crouched in the scaffolding. She did that when she got nervous. The silk around her wrists was loose but would tighten once she jumped. The jump. The flinch, right before, tipping onto her toes before spinning down in a spiral of fabric. The heat from the nearby lights made sweat bead at her hairline. Her masquerade mask itched against the sensitive skin around her eyes as she anxiously waited. The fake rhinestones embedded in her costume dug into her skin. The too-tight corset made her waist 2 times smaller, her cleavage threatening to spill out of the costume 3 sizes smaller than hers. The waxy makeup didn’t help either.

“Aye,” a voice called out to her from below. It was Eddie, again. “Can ye keep a secret?” He went on without waiting for a reply. “We takin’ the cat out t’night,” He shouted up at her gleefully, “A good load ‘ dough comin’ with it too, Ye in?” 

He was in charge of costumes.

She shook her head, “Eddie, the director is gon’ be angry yanno that right?”

“Not if he finds out who done it”

“What ‘bout the animal?” She sighed, already exasperated 3 seconds into the conversation.

“It’ll be taken care of, aight? Here-lemme tell ye this,” He lowered his voice, “Imma give ye a third of the cash if ye sneak him out”

“I already said n-”

“A half”

“Fine, after the show, I’ll see what it’s ‘bout” she said before climbing a ladder even higher. 

Her earpiece rung out, “Acrobat one, it’s a go”

“I’m the only one, and I ‘ave a name, okay?” She rubbed her scratched wrists again before falling backward off the platform. 

Her stomach dropped as she was freefalling, her body twisting in the air. When the silk caught her, they were wrapped around her hips cradling her as she dangled upside down. She swung her legs side to side before gaining momentum and flipping up. This time, the silk was wrapped around her shoulder all the way down to her wrist on one arm, the other one outstretched to the audience. Their gasps and claps all drowned out as she spun and let the fabric wrap around herself. Her long legs were both circled in cloth before she spread them out, spitting in mid-air. She held her arms out, only being supported by her legs before twirling up the silk again. She brought them together again and pointed her toes, before swinging them backward, then pushing forward, pouring all of her strength into it.

Her fingers slipped from the silk, finger by finger. Her heart stopped as it unraveled from her wrist. It let loose, and she was free. Its coils were no longer restraining her, keeping her.  She stretched her arms out, and grabbed onto the hoop waiting for her, and folded her legs around it. She bowed to the audience before being lifted back into the scaffolding.

Immediately, her rush of adrenaline was gone, her excitement evaporated as soon as she heard it. “Good job -er- Athena, hey is it alright if I call you Athen?” She sighed again. “It kinda has a nice ring to it yanno?” She shut off her earpiece.

She crawled down the ladder to lead the tiger to his act.

***

The ring of flames licked at the air. He shuddered as he instinctively began to edge away before he heard the bark of the Tom staring at him across the stage. Knifes glinted in his suit, on his pants, in his pockets, his eyes even seemed to feel like knives cutting into him. He prowled forward a step. Sparks threatened to burn the building if landed wrong, burn him.

A littler Tom shouted from the crowd, “NO, mom, DON’T make him do that he’s going to get HURT!” She sobbed loudly. Her mother shushed her, urging her to keep watching.

Her large doe eyes connected with his amber ones, almost seeming to be set flaming in the light. He shut them before opening and jumping. The flames seared his body as he stretched his legs outand ducked his head under.

He let out a roar as the fire burned him, the pain would last for days. He tucked his limbs in once passed through the hoop and landed. A small whimper left him as his eyes searched the endless Tom’s watching him. They were cheering, gasping in awe at his feat. 

He balanced on a ball.

He jumped to pedestal after pedestal, each one higher than then next, until finally jumping off to be caught in a net.

He acted as if he were to hurt a Tom, circling him in a cage together, before it waved at him as his cue to leave. He jumped out to be met with his chains again.

The show was over.

The acting was done.

And he returned to his cage for another inevitable day.

***

She crept along with the shadows, her black shirt didn’t do half as much as they did in the spy movies. His eyes were burning into her, tracing her moves. 

Of course, she would remember him. But never would she have thought she would see him again. After that day her parents had dragged her out of the Zoo kicking and screaming. How could they? “Scar” they had named him. Like the villain in the lion king. She wept herself to sleep for weeks after that. She didn’t understand why though. She didn’t understand why she cared so much. She forced herself to forget it after that. 

Even though she named him Buddy. 

And had one-sided conversations with him.

And asked him about his jungle home in India.

Athena brushed it off before deciding to walk in the open. She swung open the door out of the muggy warehouse into the hallway. The rickety air conditioning was almost nonexistent with how much it did. She bet her breathing in and out alone put more air in this place then that thing. She eyed the light spilling from the office around the corner of the warehouse but didn’t dare walk in yet. 

“Aight, you can hang fifty feet in the air, you can do this.”

Athena rubbed her wrists lightly.

She walked in slowly, making sure the door hovered open. He was snoring in his chair, unpaid bills scattered around his desk. A cup of cold tea was pushed to the side forgotten among the heaps of paper. 

The weak light flickered on the desk, casting grotesque shadows on the cracked walls. The popcorn ceiling seemed even more rutted than usual.  Pens were splayed everywhere, some opened without caps, others lying on the stained carpet. 

Athena slowly inched forward, spotting the glinting keys in his belt. His mouth hung open as he flinched in his sleep. She reached over him before snatching the keys. She clenched them in her hand to keep them from jangling as she sprinted out.

She laughed once she was a safe distance away. A wholehearted laugh, the first one she had in ages. “I jus did that!” She exclaimed to herself. She repeated it louder, “I JUS DID IT HAHA EDDIE,” She filled her lungs with air before exhaling, “You can take that to learn ‘ow to respect,” Athen bent over and grinned again.

Pride swelled in her stomach as adrenaline took over again. She made her way to the warehouse. This time, the tiger was on all fours, prowling his enclosure as if he knew she was coming. She felt like squealing again as she ran to the cage.

She inserted it in and felt the lock click. The door swung open, grating against the concrete floor.

***

He eyed the Tom suspiciously. Her eyes gleamed in the moonlight flowing into the large room. She crouched down and unlocked his chains. They clinked down to the floor. He tested his feet. He picked one up. He put it down. He savored the feeling of the cool air pressing against his raw wounds.

He tentatively took a step forward.

Then another.

She nodded her head, urging him to go on.

She led him across to the garage door, it creaked open wildly, but none of that mattered now. He looked up at the silver orb in the sky. He brushed his nose against her stomach, nudging her.

“I know buddy, I know,” The girl replied.

They used each other's warmth that night, the hay tickling their noses, the molding wood walls of an abandoned farm, not enough. They will lead a life of their own though. One day.