The Chicano girl

I thought everything was going very well… until Camila had another surprise for me in the second half of January.

“Can I talk to you about something?” she said one evening after we sat down to eat the burritos she made the previous night.

“Of course,” I replied but then I started having a bad feeling when I saw her staring down into her plate too long without saying anything.

“We won’t be able to make love for a while,” she said finally, still not looking at me.

I could see that she was struggling to find the right words to continue.

“Do you care to tell me more?” I tried to encourage her.

“All right,” she said after a sigh. “I was at the doctor’s office today… I had an abortion.”

“An abortion?!” I raised my voice unwittingly.

“Not your child,” she said quietly.

I was waiting for her to say more.

“You know what a late term abortion is?” she asked looking up from the plate.

“Don’t tell me you were five months pregnant!” I responded.

“Why, you won’t believe me?” She sighed again and leaned back in her chair.

I did not know what to say.

“Look,” she continued, “I didn’t know I was pregnant. Just found it out recently… and it had to be my decision whether to keep the child or not. I did not want to burden you with my problem.”

“Do you know who the father is?”

“Of course, I do.”

I lost my appetite for the other half of the burrito. I excused myself and went to brush my teeth. My brain became numb; I just did not know what to think.

By the time I returned from the bathroom, she had turned on the television in the living room. She was watching some kind of soap opera that did not interest me at all. I did not want her to think that I was angry or upset, so I sat next to her on the couch.

She turned off the TV after a few minutes.

“You probably hate me now,” she said quietly.

“I don’t hate you at all,” I responded.

“You just don’t love me anymore, is that it?”

“I didn’t say that, either, did I?”

“But you probably think that way.”

“I don’t think anything right now,” I said. “I had a tiring day at work. I should just go to sleep.”

She started undressing. She took off her skirt.

“Do you want to see?” she asked.

Instinctively, I glanced at her underwear. I could see that it was padded with gauze.

“Still bleeding?” I asked pointing at the reddish spot on her white pant.

“I don’t think so,” she said.

Our mood was definitely not the usual.

By the time Camila finished with the bathroom, I was half asleep on the couch.

“Aren’t you coming to bed with me?” she asked.

I followed her to the bedroom. We went to bed and then I kissed her good night.

“Sweet dreams, darling,” she said and turned towards the wall. She usually slept on her side to avoid snoring. Soon, she was asleep.

“Is that okay if I sleep on the couch?” I asked her the following night.

“At least you won’t hear my snoring,” she said with a laugh.

So, I went to the living room and fell asleep in no time.

What woke me up in the middle of the night was the voice of a man. He was shouting something outside repeatedly but the only thing I could understand was Camila’s name.

Next thing I saw was the light coming on in the bedroom. Camila tip-toed through the living room, quietly opened the front door, and stepped out into the hallway.

The man never stopped shouting.

I heard the squeaking of the main entrance door downstairs, and I was wide awake by then. I quickly jumped off the couch, hurried to the half way open living room door and stuck my head out into the hallway.

The conversation I overheard went something like this:

“Come on, Bruno,” Camila said, “stop waking up the neighborhood.”

“Camila, my love, my dearest, my only one… My darling!” the man raised his voice gradually. “You know how much I love you and you don’t even return my calls anymore.”

“Please, Bruno, quiet! And please, go home,” said Camila almost begging. “It’s midnight. Please, go home.”

“Camila, my love, you are carrying my baby,” the man’s voice turned kind of painful. “Let me in! I need to be with you!”

“Bruno, you are drunk, and you are too loud,” Camila responded. “Please, go away!”

“Darling, you must love me, for our child. If you throw me away, I’ll kill myself.”

The quarreling went on for about half an hour and I began to feel extremely uncomfortable.

Finally, Bruno left and Camila was coming up on the stairs.

I quickly went back to the couch and pretended I was sleeping.

Of course, I had another awful night.

Next day, we both left for work at about the same time.

It was Friday. When I arrived in the bank, I went straight to the manager’s office and handed in my resignation.

“No, you can’t leave!” the manager said. “You just started working here.”

“I’m sorry but something happened in the family, I can’t stay any longer.”

“Well, I can see you are disturbed, so I believe you. Here is your paycheck for this week, I won’t deduct this last day. Let me know if you change your mind… or just show up Monday morning.”

I quickly drove back to Camila’s place and packed my luggage. I only took with me what I brought from the East Coast, leaving behind kitchen wear and other items I acquired in California.

The pressure lifted from my brain when I entered the I-10 Freeway, and by the time I was climbing the grade on I-15 towards Victorville, I was able to breathe much easier.

When I arrived at the fork where I-40 branched off, I stayed on I-15 without a moment of hesitation. I was heading straight to Las Vegas.