Our last Dance

“The gold gown suits you.”

Recognising the voice Alice looked in the mirror of her dressing table with a scowl, to see the anxious face of her former best friend Lillian, peering through her doorway.

“I should have told mother not to let you in. I thought I was clear that I did not want to talk to you again,” Alice said through gritted teeth, practically stabbing her shining diamond earrings through her lobes. Lillian at least had the decency to look nervous at her friend’s anger, but it didn't stop her from entering the room, already dressed in a pale blue gown, her golden hair draped over one shoulder and ending in gentle curls.

“You know I never do as I’m told,” Lillian replied with a small smile as she dared a step closer into the room. Alice turned in her chair and locked eyes with her, causing Lillian to flinch at the seething rage burning there that matched her fiery red hair.

“He was going to propose. I was about to become a viscountess until you spoke to him!” Alice stood up and took a step closer. “What did you tell him? That I dishonoured myself? That I’m a lady by day and a harlot by night?!”

“No! God Alice, no. I would never shame you like that,” Lillian said in horror, her face paling at the accusation. “I… I merely commented how much bigger Kitty Stewart’s dowry is. Surely you must know that’s all he cares about?”

"What I know," Alice growled, taking another step closer, "is that Viscount Amesbury would have provided for me, cared for me-”

“All your precious viscount cared about was your money and how many heirs you could provide!”

“He’s a good man!”

“He’s thirty years your senior!” Lillian took a breath and shook her head. “I thought you were smarter than this.”

Alice's eyes filled with hurt, her voice wavering. “And I thought you were my friend. Seems we were both wrong.”

Alice walked over to her bed and slumped down on it, her shoulders hunched in defeat. After a pause Lillian sat down next to her, but still kept her distance.

“I am your friend. I was only trying to look out for you.”

“By ruining my prospects? By driving away the one man who would have actually proposed?”

“You will have other proposals. It’s only your first season.”

“You don’t know that for sure.”

“Of course I know that for sure. You’re the most beautiful woman in the ton. Men are constantly tripping themselves up to have a dance with you.”

Alice turned her gaze to Lillian, her eyes narrowed a little. She hadn’t missed the note of bitterness in her friend’s voice.

“Is that what this was about?” Alice asked, her voice deadly calm. “You’re jealous?”

Lillian stared at the floor, her eyes distant and her voice hushed.

“No, I’m not jealous.”

Alice frowned and moved closer to Lillian on the bed.

“It would make sense. It’s your second season and you haven’t even had one proposal. Has any man come to call on you at all?”

Lillian finally turned her gaze to Alice, and Alice couldn’t help the alarm she felt at the sadness in her friend’s eyes.

“Is that what you think of me? Truly?”

“I… I don’t know what to think. You said you would help me find a husband, but when one came along…” Alice’s words faltered slightly before carrying on. “Lills, talk to me. What is this about?”

Lillian’s brows furrowed, clearly thinking something through and then she suddenly stood, holding her hand out to Alice, her eyes piercing into hers.

“Dance with me.”

“Pardon?” Alice asked, bewildered at the sudden change of conversation.

“Dance with me.”

“...Why?”

“Why not? We used to all the time as children.”

“Yes but-”

“Please.” Lillian’s voice broke a little at the plea and with a sigh Alice placed her hand in hers and stood up.

“Alright. But you have to be the man.”

Lillian just smiled and led her to the centre of the room where she silently placed her hand on Alice’s waist. The young ladies locked eyes as Alice brought her hand to Lillian’s shoulder and without a word they stepped together in a walz.

One, two, three. One, two, three…

“Do you remember the last time we danced together?” Lillian asked, her ocean blue eyes never leaving Alice’s.

“It was your sister’s engagement ball, five years ago. The first ball we were allowed to attend.” Alice replied softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

One, two, three. One, two, three…

“I’ll never forget how you looked that day, straight out of a fairytale.” Lillian said gently. “You were dressed in that elegant green gown, with those flowers embroidered up the sides. Your mother let you wear your hair up like the other ladies but as the night went on pieces started to fall out. Like little drops of fire.”

One, two, three. One, two, three…

Alice’s breath hitched slightly at the memory as they continued to walz and she carried on the story for her friend.

“Lord Beaumont was talking to me but… You pushed your way in front of him. You could see I was not comfortable.”

“He was an immoral rake. And his breath always reeked of onions.”

Alice laughed quietly and Lillian couldn’t help but ponder if there was a more beautiful sound in the whole world.

One, two, three. One, two, three…

“You asked me to dance.” Alice continued. “I knew my mother would not like it but… I wanted to. I wanted to dance with my best friend…”

“And I wanted to dance with the most beautiful girl in the room.”

Alice’s breath sharpened and she gripped Lillian’s shoulder a bit tighter.

“Everyone stared but… You just kept your eyes on me.”

“I couldn’t see anyone else but you. It felt like we were the only two people in the world.”

Lillian brushed her thumb against Alice’s waist and Alice felt something flutter inside her. Nervous, but also excited.

One, two, three. One, two, three…

“Alice…” Lillian whispered the name tenderly, savouring the way it felt on her lips. “Alice, I never wanted that dance to end. I wanted to stay in your arms till the end of time. I wanted…” Her voice caught and her steps faltered but Alice grasped her hand tighter, leading her back into the steps.

One, two, three. One, two, three…

“What did you want Lills? Tell me.”

Lillian’s eyes swam with deep rooted emotion as she gently pressed their bodies closer together, still moving to the count of three. Both of their breaths came out heavier and Alice knew it wasn’t just because of the dancing. Lillian’s gaze fell from Alice’s eyes to her lips, red, soft, and already slightly parted.

“I wanted to do this…”

Lillian stopped the dance and slowly brought the hand at Alice’s waist up, her fingers gliding over her bosom, collarbone and neck until her hand came to rest on her cheek. Her eyes met Alice’s as their breaths mingled together, as she sought permission. Alice’s breath hitched and her skin tingled in anticipation before she inclined her head in a small nod.

With a sigh of relief, Lillian closed the gap between them and their lips met in a tender and gentle kiss.

In that moment Alice could have sworn the entire world fell away. Balls, betrothals, gowns, none of that was important. There was nothing more important than the feeling of Lillian’s lips on hers, their bodies pressed together, her soft hand warming her cheek. Alice brought one of her hands to the back of Lillian’s head, her fingers gliding through her soft golden hair as she savoured the feel, the taste of her friend’s kiss.

Having to take a moment to breathe, both women parted and Lillian pressed her forehead to Alice’s, gazing at her in loving awe.

“Was that ok?”

Alice nodded, as her hand gently stroked Lillian’s hair, soothing her emotions as she took in what had just passed.

“I… I wanted to do that as well. But I always thought it would be wrong.” Sadness streaked across Lillian’s eyes for a second but Alice took her face in her hands as she added with a smile, “But nothing in my life has felt as right as your lips on mine. Nothing.”

Lillian’s face glowed with happiness and could not resist bringing her lips back to Alice’s. Back to the woman she loved.