The Spynx Cat

The Sphynx Cat

You never know who you might meet...

Go to elgoog Earth (there were copyright issues…) do you see that HUGE place with France, Spain, Germany etc? Good, now look at the small insignificant dot next to it (you might need a magnifying glass).Found it? Well done, you win a prize-you get to read this book (some may say that it's a punishment but that’s beside the point…)for this is where our story starts. There is a boy called Tom. Tom was a good boy. He was the sort of person who would help an old lady with her shopping or help her cross the road. Tom loved cats. Correction, Tom adored cats. He especially adored sphynx cats. Far away on the other side of the world, there was a boy whose name was Mot (see what I’ve done there).Mot was a bad boy. He was the sort of person who , if he saw an old lady with her hands full of shopping would most likely try to mug her and if he saw her crossing the road he was more likely to push her into incoming traffic than help her across (he usually didn’t as old ladies who hadn’t run since the 60s would sprint home to avoid a chance meeting with Mot). Mot hated cats. Correction, Mot loathed cats. The horrible selfish things with noses that seemed to be permanently sticking up in the air. So he was understandably dismayed when his parents went out and bought a cat. A normal cat would have been bad enough but his parents had got the worst one possible. A sphynx cat. If you're wondering what a sphynx cat looks like then imagine a normal cat. Then take that cat and roll it in the mud. Proceed to run it over with a bulldozer. Finally, shave all its fur off with a rusty razor. That image you’ve got in your head? That monstrosity is the freak of nature known as a sphynx cat. Tom had always wanted a sphynx cat. The thing that was so appealing about them was their helplessness. The rest of the world saw sphynx cats as normal cats who had been rolled in the mud, run over by a bulldozer etc...Tom however saw them as an opportunity. An opportunity for kindness and to make the world a better place! That and the fact that you didn’t need to clean them because they had no hair but mainly because of all that world kindness stuff.Those cats gave him the heebie-jeebies; they looked like Yoda in cat form but with a double chin and potbelly. He had always wanted a reptile like an iguana or Comodo dragon. Not this… eyesore it was like someone had said okay I have a cat. I have a razor. Mph! Sphynx cat! He looked at it with contempt, it glanced up at him briefly and continued to lick its nether regions. And the food! Oh the food! He wasn’t sure whether it smelt worse when it was going in or going out. Wait… He was sure because his parents had decided to place its litter tray in HIS room they had said “It is a big responsibility we are willing to give to you”. Sure...If you liked walking past cat logs every time you enter your room. Tom was helping a group of ducks cross the road (because that was the sort of person he was) when he noticed out of the corner of his inch-thick glasses that were more glass than frame (they also didn’t help his reputation as a ‘geeky goody two shoes’) a black cat. Now this wasn’t anything out of the ordinary-Tom saw cats all the time but this one was pure black. It was blacker than a raven in a coal mine. Black as stormy darkness. Black as gunpowder. Blacker than the midnight sky. Blacker than… I think you get the point-it was black. Not only was it black but it was a… yup you guessed it- a moggie! Wait you didn’t guess it? You thought it was a sphynx didn’t you? But which self-respecting witch would own a sphynx cat? Wait, did I just tell you about the witch? Forget I said anything! In fact stop reading this. Put it down and walk away. I’m waiting...You’re still here? Well I suppose the show must go on-or the story... whatever the literary equivalent is. Anywaaaaay.Mot was having trouble with the cat. More trouble. It seemed to think that he was its servant and all his possessions were also his.Wait, scratch that(no pun intended) it seemed to think that all his possessions were his and his only! It had even claimed his bed! At least he had learnt something from that experience. Cat beds are not comfortable, they give you back ache and cramps and fleas. They are even more uncomfortable when only a few meters away a cat is sleeping in your own bed like a king. Correction, they are even more uncomfortable when a self-proclaimed king is sleeping in your bed like a cat. A creepy, hairless middle aged king. Tom couldn’t take his eye off the cat after he helped the ducks cross the road (no that isn’t the beginning of a bad joke) and the duck had thanked him with a single “quack” he quickly began to run towards the cat but he slowed down to a brisk walk not wanting to hurt any pedestrians(again not helping your image geeky goody two shoes…) the cat turned around a corner into a narrow cul-de-sac and Tom continued dogging him(again no pun intended). The cat ran into a blood-curdling, hair-raising, spine-chilling...house. Tom didn’t want to be rude so he knocked on the open door and waited. Finally, after what seemed an eternity a great, big towering woman walked out she had a ball of knitting in her hands and was dressed from head to toe in pure black. She had mysterious stains on her dress and was eating a mysterious meat. Despite all this Tom made an effort to be polite” Hello, how do you do?” he inquired. At this point in the story you must be thinking that this is the witch that I had mistakenly alluded to earlier. You must be thinking “ Ha, I guessed that this is the witch I am so clever” .Fear not I am here to tell you that this is not the witch and that you are not as clever as you think. She politely replied that she was fine and inquired as to whether the young gentlemen would come inside and have a cup of cocoa as it was bitterly cold outside. He replied in the affirmative and upon walking inside he saw an ordinary woman wearing ordinary clothes on an ordinary sofa with an ordinary cauldron chanting ordinary spells. Wait...cauldron, spells these weren’t ordinary things(well done Holmes you’ve done it again)!As he started to back out of the room the witch(yep it's really the witch this time) turned around to face him “I’ve been waiting a long time for you” she exclaimed and with that she muttered some incantation under her breath and Tom collapsed. 

“Would you like a cup of tea Mot?“His mother asked. “That would be nice thank you very much my dear mother”Mot replied and if you would be so kind as to donate all my pocket money to charity that would be amazing also can you bring that cat up I want to stroke him. “Would you like a cup of tea Tom” his mother asked”Ugh go away!” he replied angrily “and get rid of those cat photos from the wall. I hate cats”...

Regards Shayan Ayaz