The Waft Of The Wind

The car started to slow down. I gently turned the wheel and drove the vehicle under a tall oak, right by the end of the forest. The area around me was treaded down, and it was obvious more cars often park here. All of my memories started to come back. If I came here in a car, about twenty years ago, I would be buried in bushes, tall grass, and weed. It was impossible to get here otherwise than on foot or with a bike. Nowadays, I haven't sat on a bike for good ten years, and I'm not much of a walker either. Ever since I got my driving license, I drove everywhere. That was about to change in a few seconds.

I turned the engine off, took my jacket and got out of my old, rusty car. The door shut behind me with a loud squeaking sound. I locked the car; not that there was anything worth stealing, but one could never be sure. Soft, cold wind was running through my messy, unkempt hair, as if it was trying to fix it. I let strands of my brown medium-length hair to fall into my eyes. I didn’t try to brush them off. I was used to it.

For a few seconds, I was just standing there, looking at the beautiful nature I left twenty years ago, as I was soaking up the atmosphere. I felt I was starting to calm down. My anxiety was slowly escaping my head, and suddenly, all the problems I kept thinking about on my way here were gone. With the waft of the wind.

Only then, I finally set out. I wasn’t meant to be here, now when I’m thinking about it. I don’t mean to confuse you; yes, I did intend to go to this place, it just wasn’t planned. I was on my way from my parents’ house, who I was visiting this weekend.

An ordinary family, really, a poor one as well. My mother used to be a construction worker. Yes, I said it. She is a woman made of steel, which was probably the main reason my father fell in love with her. Even though she had the job she had, the men working there respected her for her strength - mental and physical - and many of them were jealous when she chose my father. They didn’t work together; my father is a lumberjack, and he was the one providing wood for the company my mother worked for. These days, my mom is on an early retirement due to her health. My father is still as energetic as a squirrel, which gives my mom the enthusiasm she needs.

To get back to my point, I wasn’t meant to be here. When I said my goodbyes to my family and wished my mother a good recovery, I sat into my car, but I just couldn’t get on the main road. My body didn’t allow me. I just sat there, holding the wheel, thinking.

“Is something wrong, sweetie?” my mother asked, as she bent to the window, so she could see me through the rolled down window. “If you don’t want to go yet, you can always stay here. Anytime, honey.”

I looked at her, dreamily. I blinked. I stared at my mother’s face, so fragile and pale with sickness. Only then I realized, she really wasn’t the same powerful woman that raised me to be just like her. She smiled at me, softly, encouragingly, and faint lines appeared around her lips. “No… No, mom, I’m okay. I’ve just realized… There’s something I have to do before I leave.”

“Is it about a girl?”

I shook my head in surprise. “What? Dear God, mother, no. It’s not about a girl.”

“Damn, I never get it right.” She gently slapped the window frame. If she was about the same age as me and gave that car the same slap, I would be seriously worried by car would just start falling apart. That was another reminder that those days were far behind her. “You better find a girl soon, young man. I want a grandchild, standing on these steps before I turn eighty.” She strictly pointed her finger at the main stairs, leading to the main door.

“I promise I will find one and bring it here.”

She gave a laugh. “Alright, son. What is it that you have to do?”

“Do you remember where I used to play as a child?”

“Eh…” She scratched her forehead, trying to recall the memories. “Maybe. Was it the forest? Or by the river? There were so many places…”

“The forest. Is it approachable? I mean, is there like a road? I remember it was hard to get there back then.”

“I think so, yes. About five years after you left for college, the mayor decided to cut the grass and bushes around because it was so hard to get in and out. Even the animals started having troubles, and it’s their natural habitat.”

“Oh,” I said. “Alright. I want to see it once more.”

“What is there to see, darling?”

“Glasmiota.”

“Oh, right,” she said, when she understood. “Glasmiota.”

Yes, Glasmiota. The beautiful lake in the middle of the forest. I stood there, looking over the sparkling water and the tiny waves forming on the surface. It was autumn and the tall trees standing around it were full of colours. Honey-brown, red, and orange leaves lied down under their owners, with some of them still being attached. I heard a sparrow singing its sharp, yet beautiful song. Despite that, the silence of that place was entrancing. I worked as an accountant, which means I spent most of my time in an office. To make things worse, I worked as an accountant in a huge city where I also lived. Therefore, I didn’t get much silence during the day, nor during the night. Standing by the Glasmiota Lake, I almost thought I was deaf.

I remembered me and my friends as children, playing in the water or in the trees, making sure we came home with bruised knees and elbows. I didn’t have many friends, only three, but it was enough. For us and this place, it was enough. We spent most of our childhood here. We had our secret meetings here, we played Indians versus cowboys here, and we pretended we were adults here. We stopped coming here when school got too hard, and we spent most of our time studying. I thought about this place many times, hoping we would have a secret meeting again, but it never happened.

I can’t say I regret going to college. The only thing I wish would happen is this lake seeing me grow up even more. We would have a place to go to when we were feeling depressed, we could talk about girls here and maybe – not that it would ever happen – I would be even able to bring some high school crush here. For all I know, the boys probably did it after I left. But for me, it was only a never fulfilled dream.

I sighed. It was time to get back to reality. I gave the lake a last loving look and turned around.

I have to come back again, I thought. And I promised myself I will.