SCÉLÉRAT

*Contains potentially sensitive content: Alcohol, Sexual Innuendo.*

“Can you blame me?” I ask, squinting in the bright, clinical light.

I can hear Jude grinding his teeth.

“I really don’t know if I can fix this, Sarah.”

“I’m sure it isn’t so dramatic.”

He clears his throat. A bead of sweat irritates my eyelash. I reach up to brush it away.

“I’m struggling to understand how you got here.”

I turn to look at him, my other cheek squished against the headrest on the adjustable chair. “What do you mean?”

“You met him on Friday. It’s hardly been two days.”

“And?”

He sighs. “Just, start from the top. What happened on Friday night?”

I close my eyes and travel back to that wonderful memory.

“It was a cool night, so I decided I had better put on a sweater. Liv called just as I was leaving my apartment…”

“Sarah! The Crowbar is closed for renos. Jay suggested we try out a new place uptown, See-lee-rat.”

“Wait, what?”

“Ugh. I don’t know, it’s French. I’ll drop a pin for you in your messages so that you can Uber to meet us there.”

I switch my audio to speaker, and wait for the pin to appear.

A satisfying buzz alerts me that a new message has arrived.

Tap, tap. I open the message and read the address.

Scélérat.

I try the word out loud.

“Seh-leh-rraa.”

Tap, tap, tap. My translating app says it means scoundrel. Intriguing.

“So, you in?” Liv’s tinny voice brings me back to the present.

“Duh. See you soon.”

My uber arrives and I redirect her uptown.

“Trying out the new club?” she asks. “I’ve heard good things. Quite a few people ridesharing that way tonight.”

“As long as there’s a dancefloor and trendy cocktails, I’m sure I’ll love it.”

My uber-driver flicks her red hair, hiding a snicker. “Spoken like a pro.”

She has no idea.

Liv has dragged me to so many clubs, I’ve got way too much experience to be proud of. If we had been born in the nineteenth century, she would have invented clubbing.

“Sarah?” Jude’s voice interrupts my thoughts.

“Yea?”

“What next?”

Ah, that’s right. I’m busy telling a story here.

“Well, the Uber ride was totally uneventful, but the club – now that’s a whole other story.”

Jude’s nostrils flair. For a second he looks like a cow. I giggle.

“Sarah.”

“Yes. Sorry. Anyway, as I was saying – the club was ripper that night.”

“That deej is legendary!” Jay pants loudly as he collapses into a seat at our table. He reaches over and grabs a potato skin, munching loudly, taking a break only to chug down some water.

I take another sip of my margarita and grimace pleasantly at the salty-sour goodness.

“I agree.”

The voice surprises all of us and we look up.

“Name’s Don. Mind if I join?”

There is a spare seat at our table, and so Jay gestures for him to sit down.

“Yo! Tradition is that you buy us all a round if you want to sit at our table.”

“No problem. What can I get for you?” He stands up and pulls his wallet from his suit-jacket. We all rattle off our usuals, and he saunters over to the bar to collect the drinks.

“I like his suit,” comments Liv, flashing a grin at me.

“I dunno. Who wears a suit to a club?!” I crack up laughing. It’s probably not as funny as it feels, but I’m two drinks in and feeling the buzz.

The bright lights of the dance floor seem slow and fast at the same time. I feel warm, but my toes are cold. And my happy-level is sneaking up to dance-time.

“So, want to join me?”

My eyes connect with Don’s.

“Hmmm?” I ask, sipping the last bit of my margarita.

“Want to dance?”

“Duh.”

I take his outstretched hand as he leads me to the dancefloor. The lights pick up their pace and we are cranking out the craziest dance-moves together.

“Nice moves!” he yells over the loud music.

Just nice? I frown for a second. I am shaking my booty like a golden retriever after a bubble bath, so I would call my moves better than nice. I would call them epic, or awesome, or even stellar. But nice?

I shrug and smile at Don, and decide to release the twerk.

“Yaaaaaassss queeeeeen!” I hear him just over the frantic thump-thump of the DJ’s mashup.

That’s better. I love me a good yes queen.

A couple of songs later, I feel Don’s warm breath on my ear.

“Let’s go somewhere a bit quieter.”

Every hair on my body stands to attention. I don’t care how many drinks I have had, I know what that means. And I am ready for it.

We push through the crowded dancefloor and find a quiet spot in the courtyard. The air is brisk compared to the sweaty mess of writhing bodies inside, and the goosebumps pop up on my arms. I lean against Don and turn my body to face him. I hope my lips aren’t too dry.

“Do you like stars?”

His question surprises me.

“I guess.” I answer, looking up. It is very clear tonight. But the stars are a little blurry to me. And maybe I see a couple more than there really are.

“I like stars because they’re always there. Until they get a bit too big and then, poof!”

What is that supposed to mean? I look down at my waist. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost a couple kilograms over the last few months. I’ve been doing a great at-home workout and nutrition program. He wouldn’t be making a jab at my weight, right? He wouldn’t dare!

“People aren’t as trustworthy.” He whispers. I observe his shiver as he looks down. Suddenly I feel very sober. It seems as if Don is carrying the world on his shoulders..

“People suck.” I say.

“Yea,” he chuckles. “they do. But not everyone.”

His eyes lock with mine, and I feel all gooey inside.

“Yea. Not everyone.”

He licks his lips and I am drawn to him like a magnet. I can’t believe how much it feels like I know him, like I have known him forever. And he seems to be feeling the same.

“That’s Orion.” He looks up and points at the sky.

I try to spot the constellation. I know there are supposed to be three stars in a row that form Orion’s belt, so I look for them.

He grabs my hand and leads me back into the club.

I’m walking on clouds. He’s so nice, and deep. And REAL. Like, really real.

He excuses himself to the bathroom, and Liv gives me that look.

“Spill.”

“Nothing!” I say, blushing.

“Nothing? Girl, nobody goes into a club courtyard and nothing happens.”

“No, really,” I say. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind if something happened, but nothing happened.”

Liv dances her little happy dance and points at me. “You’ve got the hots for Don!”

I can’t deny it. “He’s so cool. We talked about stars.”

“Stars?! Girl, you are seeing stars! Let me buy you another drink.”

“No, it’s fine!”

“Hush, child. You are having this tequila shot right now.”

Salt. Swig. Burn. Yup, that’s a shot alright.

Don reappears as I slam the glass down on the table.

“I need takeout,” he announces to us. “There’s a drive-through close by, so I’m going to head there. Want to come along?”

He asks everyone, but his eyes are looking directly into mine.

“Uhm,” I hesitate, and turn to Liv.

She rolls her eyes and leans over to me.

“It’s code for come home with me,” she whispers.

My eyes grow wide.

Really? Don wants me to go home with him? Is that even safe?

“We’re good, Don, thanks! But I think Sarah might be ready to head off. Right, Sarah?” Liv announces, slowly.

Jay starts to complain and ask why I don’t want to stay, but Liv gives him that look, and he shuts his mouth.

“Uhm, sure, I guess. I’ll come.”

“Great,” Don picks up my sweater from the back of my chair, and helps me slip my arms through.

I pull out my phone, and subtly share my location with Liv, just in case.

Don and I squeeze past all the hot, sweaty, bodies, and exit through the side-door. The fresh air hits me like a ton of bricks this time, and my eyes feel a little heavy. He leads me to his car.

“You sure you want to come? Feeling sober enough?”

“Yea, sure,” I affirm with a nod. Then I pause for a second. “How much have you had to drink? Can you drive?” I ask him.

“Sober. Don’t drink. But I do love dancing.”

I climb into the passenger side, heart racing. I’d never gone home with someone before. But there was something about Don.

He smiles at me as he starts his car. I bite my lip. Am I really doing this?

He turns on his radio, and some quiet jazz floats through the speakers into the car. Even the silence feels romantic.

Literally five minutes later, we reach the drive-through. Not his house. A real drive-through, advertising greasy burgers and chicken wings.

“So, we’re really getting food?” I ask, surprised.

“Yea,” Don frowns, “that’s what I said, right?”

“Yes,” I whisper, “it is. I just thought – never mind.”

I shake my head with a smile.

We order, and once the food is ready he parks his car by the local botanical gardens, and we munch away at the greasy junk food.

“What are you looking forward to in life?” Don asks me between mouthfuls.

The question catches me off guard. I’m not exactly sure. I tell him as much.

“That’s okay. It’s a tricky question. We’re usually so focused on getting through the day that we hardly get a chance to dream.”

“Well, what about you?” I ask.

He leans into his seat even more, and a smile teases at his lips.

“I dunno. I have lots of dreams. Travel, buy a house, start a garden. Right now, I’m just looking forward to having someone to do all that with. My girl.”

My internal church bells start ringing. Is he suggesting what I think he is suggesting?

“Yea?” I tilt my head and look at him. “Do you have someone in mind?”

“Sort of.” He chuckles. Our eyes meet. “I’m still getting to know her.”

The warm, gooey feeling inside of me amplifies by a thousand. I feel my heartbeat in my ears and throat. Every part of me is melting into a glob of caramel. His deep, brown eyes captivate me. I fight the urge to reach out and touch his five o’clock shadow, imagining the gentle prickle on my fingertips.

“Your turn.” He says.

“Hmm?” I ask, all melty and soft.

“Ask me a question.”

I think about it for a second. “Right. What’s something you really like in a woman?”

He laughs. He has a nice laugh. “Agh. This is going to sound dumb.”

“I’m sure it’s not too bad.”

“Well, okay.” He pauses for a second. “Don’t freak out.”

What could he possibly be so embarrassed about?

He takes a deep breath. “I’m a little obsessed with tattoos on a woman. There’s something so gritty about it.”

I dissolve into laughter. Why would that be such a big deal? “Dude! That’s nothing. Tattoos are great.” We both laugh for a bit.

I slurp the last bit of my slushy.

He licks his thumb and scrunches up the paper bag.

“Ready to go home?”

My mind explodes with images of Don carrying me over the threshold into his home, throwing me onto a bed in frenzied passion.

“Yes. Now.”

“Cool. Where is your place?”

The images in my mind of Don’s threshold transform into my own threshold. My house is clean. So alright, let’s do it. I rattle off my address to Don, and the drive there is quiet, heavy, tempting. Adrenaline is pulsing through my veins. I see my apartment block, point it out, and he parks just across the road.

He opens my door and takes my arm, leading me gently to the foyer. The thirty seconds in the elevator only build my excitement. He walks me to my door. I fumble with my key, and drop it on the carpet. He picks it up for me.

The latch clicks open. I step inside.

“Goodnight.”

I stop in my tracks. Curious, I look up to Don.

“Did you want to, you know, come inside?” I ask quietly.

“Thanks for the invite, but I’m pretty tired from all the dancing.”

Stunned, I try to compute. The food has sobered me up even more, and the subtle buzz of that final tequila shot is fading by the second.

“Not even for, like, coffee?”

Don checks his watch, and for a moment he looks like he is contemplating it.

Why wouldn’t he want to come in? Didn’t he find me attractive? Maybe I wasn’t his type. Maybe I had said something silly while I was tipsy.

“Sarah? Sarah!”

I blink. Jude is sitting back in his chair, arms crossed.

“I’m just thinking. Gosh, I feel so stupid.”

Jude rolls his eyes. “NOW you feel stupid? Girl, it still doesn’t explain how you got HERE.”

“I know, okay! Let me finish the story.”

“Alright then. Finish up.”

“Fine. As I was saying, we were standing there, awkwardly, while Don checked his watch.”

“It really has been a lovely night, Sarah. Thank you for hanging out with me.” He reaches out and gently touches my hand. Our eyes meet again. Sparks are flying. “I’m hoping to see my girl again tomorrow.”

I resist the urge to kiss him so hard. Every part of me wants to leap into his arms, and drag him inside.

“Well, where are you going to see her?” I ask, coy.

“There’s a nice coffee cart by the park that opens early, 8am. Java Joe’s. I am pretty sure that’s the right spot.”

The park is just down the road, and I frequent that cart.

“Sounds like a plan.” I whisper, squeeze his fingers, and step back again. I wave at him. He turns to head back down to the ground floor.

I close the door behind me, and drip down onto the carpet, hugging my knees to my chest. What a crazy night it had been. Something straight out of a romance novel. Except, it didn’t end in bed.

My phone buzzes. Liv. She’s asking if I was having an awesome time with Don. I laugh and txt her that he just dropped me off at home. Alone.

My phone rings. Video chat.

“What? He didn’t take you back to his place?” Liv yells over the din of a club in the background.

“No, Liv. We actually got takeout. But I’m seeing him again tomorrow. 8am. He’s so nice!”

“Well, girl, Jay is just about to leave and I need a party buddy! The night is young! Meet me at Poppa’s.”

I check the time. It is still early. I could go out for a couple of hours. I only needed six hours of sleep to be presentable, right?

“Pleeeease.” Liv pouts.

“Fine. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

“Okay, so you went back out with Liv?” Jude sips his tea.

“Yea. That’s when things get a little blurry.”

“Well it must have been quite a wild night.”

I yawn. “I’m still recovering.”

“You must have felt awful when you woke up on Saturday.”

I glare at Jude. But he is right. The hangover was magnificent.

“Well, yes. But not as awful as I felt a couple hours later.”

“Keep going,” Jude prompts. “I’m listening.”

I wake up feeling run over. Everything hurts. Every single thing.

I silence my alarm. One hour to get dressed and to the park. The shower stings, and my eyes probably look like roadmaps. But I’m feeling good. There’s an odd spring in my step. I cannot wait to see Don!

At 7:55 am, I see the coffee cart just ahead of me. And there I see the back of one handsome, thoughtful, gentlemanly Don.

He’s holding a coffee in his hand. Joe must have opened a little early. I take a deep breath and begin my approach. I cannot wait to see the light in his eyes when he sees me.

His booty looks good in those jeans.

He stretches out his arms, toward the park. Weird.

And then I see her. Blonde, flowy hair. Bright, vibrant eyes.

One excited golden retriever dives into Don, spilling his coffee everywhere.

“My girl!” I hear him cry out.

Seconds later, he is joined by a man wearing a hat that says something about a dog-rescue.

“Hey! Sarah! Your usual?”

I spin to face Joe.

“Uhm, yea. Sure.”

“Sarah?” Don turns to me. “Sarah! What are you doing here?”

“Duh,” I mutter, bashful. I shift my feet, cheeks red. “Just getting a coffee.”

“Let me introduce you to my girl while you wait for your order. I’m finalising the paperwork today. Sarah, meet Millie.”

Jude cracks up laughing. It’s uncontrollable.

“Really? Sarah? You mean, the girl he was talking about was a dog?!”

I glare at him, imagining lasers shooting from my eyes into his smug smile.

“So can you help me, or not?”

Jude looks down at the tattoo on the back of my thigh.

Don & Sarah

Forever.

With a cheesy love-heart to boot.

“Well, Sarah, we can certainly try.”

He pulls out his sketchbook and starts to draw a potential cover-up.

Yup. I think I feel very stupid.