25 comments

Sad

Lauren-


It's another beautiful winter day. Cold, but beautiful. And the perfect amount of snow for a ski. I exit my car and get out my skis from the back. It's snowing lightly, making my face freezing. I pull up the hood of my ski jacket, but a few locks of my blond hair stay loose in the wind.


I'm ready for some exercise, so I take one of the longer trails. The wind and snow are now both pointed in my direction. It's so cold out. I start skiing with my earbuds in so I can listen to some music. I ski on steady ground for a few kilometers until I reach an uphill. It's a two way hill, but I've never seen anyone come down it before, so I don't pay attention. 


I start using the herring-bone technique around halfway up the hill. I hum along to my music, and I don't notice the skier coming down the hill before it's too late.  


***


Alice-


As I go flying down the hill I feel free in the wind. I don't notice the skier in front of me until I am about ten meters away. They don't seem to notice me. I try to stop or swerve, but I can't. 


"Track!" I scream, "Track!"


The last thing I feel is the cold air before I black out.


***


Lauren-


I wake up surrounded by bright lights and a lot of... white. Everywhere. My head throbs. I'm in a hospital, but I don't know how I got here. I can't concentrate on much else, I feel dizzy. A wave of sickness sweeps over me. I might throw up. I try to get up, but I notice a sling on my right arm and I think my leg is broken. I try not to move, but I still feel terrible. A nurse comes in. 


"She's awake."  

"I'll be right there." Says a male voice. A doctor, perhaps. 

"Try not to move, Lauren." Says the nurse sweetly. "The doctor will be right in to check on you."

I was right. He is a doctor.

"What happened?" I ask. I don't remember anything. 

"Um, well, it's a lot to process." She stammers. 

"You collided with another skier." the doctor says, coming into the room. "You're lucky someone found you two in the time that they did, otherwise you two could've been left there unconscious in the cold."

Now I remember a little bit. 

"Was the other skier okay?" I ask.

"Barely a scratch on her other than a minor concussion. You got it much worse."

"When will I be able to go home?" I realize. It's almost Christmas, and I want to see my family.

"You may be spending Christmas here." He replies. "But don't worry, your family can come and visit. 

"Thanks." I respond. I know they can't do anything different. Why did I have to go skiing today? How plain unlucky.


***


Alice-


I dream of flying down a hill on my skis. Wait, I did fly down a hill. And I crashed into someone. I open my eyes. I'm laying in a hospital bed with my head propped up on a pillow. I try to sit up, and wince. Ow. 


However, it's not that bad of a head injury. Just a sharp headache. 


"She's awake." A doctor says. 

I lift my head. "How bad is it?"

"Oh, you're fine." A nurse tells me. "You'll be able to leave here in a few hours, once we find someone to drive you home."

"I can drive." I say. 

"Not with a concussion you can't. You're very lucky, though. The other woman had it much worse than you."

Oh, no. I feel terrible. She wouldn't be in the hospital if it wasn't for me. 

"Will she be all right?" 

"She'll recover eventually. However. she'll be in here for much longer than you."

I feel awful. I should've been more careful. I should've paid more attention. Oh well, it's too late now.


January 17, 2022 15:28

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25 comments

Daniel R. Hayes
16:32 Jan 20, 2022

Wow, this was incredible!! It was very sad and touching and I'm glad that she will recovery in the long run. I loved your descriptions and the way you put this all together. This was a fantastic read! Great Job!! :) :)

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17:17 Jan 20, 2022

Thanks! I know it wasn't much of an 'interesting' to some people, but I tried my best on the other parts. Thanks for commenting! I really appreciate it.

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Daniel R. Hayes
22:02 Jan 20, 2022

It was great. My advice is to remember that you can't please everyone, so stay true to yourself and keep writing. The more we write the better we get :)

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01:08 Jan 21, 2022

Thank you so much! That's really inspiring :)

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Dhwani Jain
11:52 Jan 20, 2022

Hello Kate! I decided to check some of your stories and this is the first one I came across. I did find a few grammatical errors and there wasn't anything THAT 'exciting' about it, but I did find the descriptions on point! You are a really nic writer and I hope to read more of your stories soon!

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11:55 Jan 20, 2022

Thank you so much! I appreciate the feedback. I know this wasn't one of my best stories, I just couldn't stop writing it.

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Dhwani Jain
13:36 Jan 20, 2022

I know that feeling, Kate. You're not alone!

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Kate Reynolds
00:42 Jan 20, 2022

Wow, since I ski this is kinda my worst nightmare. I remember this one time where I just missed crashing into another person while skiing (I went right over their skis, thankfully). Great job on the story though! Also, are you new to Reedsy? I haven't seen you around before. But then again I haven't been on Reedsy for a long time lol

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01:30 Jan 20, 2022

Thank you so much! Oh no! Good thing you didn't hit them! Yeah, I'm kind of new. I've been on here since April 2021.

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Kate Reynolds
13:47 Jan 20, 2022

No problem! That's cool. What genres do you usually like to write in?

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13:55 Jan 20, 2022

I'm not really sure yet. I'm hoping to try all of them.

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Kate Reynolds
19:18 Jan 20, 2022

Oooh, so I take it that you're new to writing as well?

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19:28 Jan 20, 2022

Kind of. I also just don't write a lot because I'm pretty busy sometimes.

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15:29 Jan 17, 2022

Please take the time to comment, it means a lot.

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Graham Kinross
03:09 Mar 09, 2022

I don’t go skiing but your description put me there. It’s not your best but this wasn’t bad at all.

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15:41 Mar 09, 2022

Thanks so much!

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Graham Kinross
22:28 Mar 09, 2022

You’re welcome.

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Kathleen `Woods
16:33 Jan 22, 2022

So, Same prompt! Cause' goodness there's a spectrum with this Prompt! I'm all the way on the other end of it, so it's good to find some variety. One overlap was the use of multiple perspective, your use of *** wasn't too obtrusive over E-reader, so that was nice. It was rather short considering, but you made some use of your word count. Related trivia, this had a surprisingly low letter count at 3,443. I can't say anything bad about your depiction of the point of impact, or in regards to your portrayal of medical professionals. I would'v...

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18:44 Jan 22, 2022

Thanks so much!

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Unknown User
21:05 Jan 19, 2022

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21:08 Jan 19, 2022

Thank you so much! I'm good, you?

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Unknown User
21:23 Jan 19, 2022

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21:47 Jan 19, 2022

Nice!

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Unknown User
22:27 Jan 19, 2022

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