Just Jump

Trigger warning: mentions of suicide

“Are you sure about this?”

“Nope. But that’s what faith is, isn’t it? Believing even when you’re not entirely sure. Do you trust me?”

“…Yes.”

He grinned and squeezed her hand. “You can do it. We can do it.”

“I don’t know…”

“Remember, it’ll all be worth it in the end. Just jump!”

* * *

Her and Jewel were chatting in their beginning Spanish class when he walked in.

It was like something out of a movie: everything slowed down, his blonde hair glistened in sunlight coming in from the window, and he looked over at her and smiled.

She swore she could hear violins playing a love song in the background.

La profesora eyed him walking in. “Ah, are you—”

“Jackson Aberra, at your service.”

“Yes, well, you’re tardy.”

“Lo siento, Señora. It’s my first day! I must have gotten lost on the way here. Won’t happen again,” he said with a grin.

He flashed his perfect smile at everyone in the class. “Hey, I’m Jackson, but you can call me Jack or Jax or J or, whatever, I guess.” He looked at her. “I look forward to getting to know you all.” She could feel her face heating up, and Jewel looked at her with a smirk. She rolled her eyes, though a smile broke through on her face.

The rest of the day, she couldn’t stop thinking about the new kid.

* * *

Somehow, overnight, he became the most popular and likable kid in the grade.

Her heart almost exploded when he strolled over to her locker.

“Alphabetically organized books, huh?”

“Um, y-yeah.”

“So, judging by your books, the number of times you raised your hand in class yesterday to answer a question, and the determination on your face when you were doing the assignment, I would say… you’re an all A’s student, teacher’s pet, and perfectionist, who has never broken a rule in her life?”

She glared at him. “I’ve broken rules before…”

“Yeah? Name one.”

She thought for a moment, but her mind was blank. Though, she wasn’t sure if her mind was blank because she truly hadn’t broken any rules before, or simply due to the fact that a really cute guy was standing right there, talking to her.

“That’s what I thought.”

She rolled her eyes.

“And what would this goody-goody’s name be?”

A smile crept onto her lips. “Um, Christabel…”

“You know, Bel, alphabetical organization, while perhaps satisfying the needs of your Obsessive Compulsive Disorder—”

“I don’t have OCD.”

He smirked and continued, “It fails to fulfill my efficiency requirement when it comes to book categorizing in lockers.”

She glared at him again. “It works perfectly and is efficient, thank you very much.”

“Not necessarily. For ultimate efficiency, you should organize your books according to your school schedule. That way, when you go to your next class, the books for that period would be right there waiting for you, next in line.”

“You… might not be totally wrong.”

He smiled. “That tends to be the way it is. Oh and, speaking of efficiency, how would you feel about going to the library with me after school today? This way, you can get in some studying or reading, and still go out with me.”

She blushed. “Um… make that, studying and reading, and you have a deal.”

“See you then,” he said with a smile as he walked away.

“Wait, but I don’t have your contact or—”

Of course. She shook her head and smiled.

On a sticky note inside the door of her locker, was a 585 number with a heart beside it.

* * *

After school, Christabel started to walk with Jewel to the library. They giggled together as they discussed Jackson.

“Omg, by the way, I heard he wants to be an actor someday.”

“Really?”

Jewel nodded, her dark curls bouncing in agreement. “Lily has theatre with him. He loves acting, just like you, Christi!”

She grinned brightly. She just seemed to like Jackson more and more.

They walked up to the library and went their separate ways. Jewel headed over to the computers, and Christabel sat in a chair near the entrance as she waited for Jackson.

A few minutes later, he arrived with a bouquet of red and yellow chrysanthemums and complimented her hair that was intertwined in a beautiful braid.

They sat closely to each other on one of the small couches near the children’s section of the library. She was reading a book that had a very high reading level, definitely advanced for children, but she still loved reading in the children’s section of this library that she had known for as long as she could remember.

“You know, Bel,” he said as he picked up a book off one of the shelves, “I’ve never really been into books, but I guess I could give it a shot.”

She smiled. “What book is that?”

Jackson shrugged and replied, “A book of poetry.”

“Ah, you’re a thespian who loves poetry, makes sense. I wouldst even suppose that thou art a Shakespearean,” Christabel remarked.

He laughed. “How’d you know?”

“You’re not the only one who can interpret others well,” she said with a smirk.

They read quietly for a couple of minutes before Jackson spoke up again, quoting a line from a poem he had just read.

“ ‘Love doesn’t die, people do. So, when all that’s left of me is love, give me away.’ ”

“I know that poem. ‘Epitaph’ by Merrit Malloy, right?”

“Yup.” A few minutes later, Jackson added, “Ooh, I found another good line from an anonymous poem: ‘it is not always the tears that measure the pain. Sometimes, it’s the smile we fake.’ ”

“That’s kind of depressing…”

“Haha, yeah, probably not the type of thing I should mention on a first date, huh? Sorry,” he said with a smile.

Christabel returned the smile, and they went back to peacefully reading together.

After some time passed, he began to walk her home. At one point along the walk, he stopped abruptly and pulled her in front of him.

She looked at him with curiosity, a smile threatening to come across her lips.

“One of the best things about living here in St. Augustine is that we have the Love Tree.” Ah, yes, the Love Tree. She knew the tale and typically wasn’t one to believe in superstition, but she kept quiet as he told the story. “Legend has it that two lovers each planted a tree. One was an oak, and the other was a palm. Eventually, the two trees grew entangled together. They say that whoever shares a kiss underneath the Love Tree will have everlasting love.”

With that said, he placed a soft kiss on her cherry lips, affirming the love that would inevitably form between them.

* * *

That date was not the only one of theirs. They went out frequently to many places. Together, they went to the movies, the beach, the park, and of course, to the library, very often. He asked her to officially be his girlfriend after a couple weeks of them dating, and she said, “yes,” with one of the biggest grins she had ever had.

Days passed into nights and weeks bled into months. Time flew by, seeming to leave them behind.

They confessed their now-deep feelings after fourteen months of happiness. He had taken her to the beach, so the sea could be a witness to their declaration of love. Randomly, he had said, “Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?”

She smiled, knowing what happens at the end of this famous scene. “Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.”

“O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.”

“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake.”

“Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.”

Jackson kissed her passionately. Then, he said, “I love you, Bel.”

She smiled. “I love you too.”

From then on, he was her Romeo, and she was his Juliet. The time they spent together was mostly filled with bliss, with a couple fights here and there, as all relationships have. But they got through the arguments quickly, their love ultimately defeating any problem they had.

Eventually, three years passed…

* * *

Christabel and Jackson were going over their lines for the new school play, Antony and Cleopatra. Naturally, they both had the lead roles.

They were performing the death scene when Jackson asked, “Hey… Could we talk for a second?”

“Sure.” She set the script aside, and they sat on her bed.

“So, you know Antony and Cleopatra, right?”

Christabel rolled her eyes. “You mean the characters that we are going to be in the play? Yeah, I think I might have heard of them,” she said sarcastically.

“What do you think of the ending?”

“I think it’s heartbreaking. Don’t you?”

“Well… yes, it’s sad, but… have you ever wondered if maybe… maybe they have the right idea?”

She laughed. “You think people should commit suicide by allowing poisonous snakes to bite them?”

He attempted a smile and replied, “No, but I’ve been thinking… What if they have the right idea that death is better than living without their lover?”

“Well, I agree with that; I can’t imagine losing you.”

“I can’t imagine that either. But I also believe they would get to be with that person forever.”

“You mean, if they both ended their lives?”

“Yes. Don’t you? I mean, think about it: Love is the center of everything. People who don’t have love ultimately end up unhappy with horrible lives, and people who have true love do everything for the ones they love. Life circles around love!”

“I agree, but—”

“So, if two people have a bond as strong as love, then their faith would be so powerful; it would have to come true! If they both believed they would be together forever, then they would be.”

“Jackson… what are you trying to say?”

“Well… the world is such a terrible place. It’s so… broken. You’re all about the facts, right? Then, take a look at statistics. There are at least 153 million orphans in the world. In 2017, 792,000 people had mental health disorders globally. There are over 600 million people living in poverty worldwide, and over 580,000 people in America are homeless. And, let’s face it, things are only going to get worse.”

“Yes, but—”

“Oh, plus, about 150,000 people die each day.”

Christabel couldn’t deny any of those facts, but the optimist inside of her felt like he was just focusing on darkness in the world. She once heard that, with shadows, always comes light. Yes, lots of people die per day, but what about the 385,000 babies born every day? She was about to mention this, but then decided against it. She did not think it was like Jackson to be so negative, so instead, she asked, “Love, are you okay? Did something happen?”

He hesitated. “No… Well, kind of. But it doesn’t matter.”

She took hold of his hand gently and gave him a concerned look. “You can tell me anything.”

He was quiet for a couple of minutes. “My mom… She was sick a few years ago with kidney cancer.” Christabel gasped. Jackson continued, “Then, she got better. At least, we thought she did… But a couple months ago, we found out that the cancer came back. She is even sicker now than she was before. She isn’t doing too well at all… I just don’t see much to look forward to in life. I decided that I don’t want to be here when she isn’t. But I also cannot bear the thought of leaving you here on this planet. I don’t want to wait that long for you to join me. But if you just come with me, then we can be together forever.”

For the first time in as long as she could remember, she was speechless. So many thoughts came to her mind… Why did he keep the news about his mom from her for so long? Normally, they tell each other everything. She supposed that it was too painful for him to discuss; it takes time to process events like that. Christabel felt that she should say something comforting about his mother, but nothing good enough came to mind. Then, Jackson’s words hit her. She realized what he was suggesting of them.

“I know it sounds crazy, but I really believe that it will work. Our love is too strong to be broken. Imagine: No more sadness, no more stress, no more hurt. Just me and you, and you and me, spending eternity together, forever in love.”

A smile came across her lips and then went away quickly. “…What exactly would we have to do?”

He grinned. “I say, we take a little vacation to the Grand Canyon. If we’re leaving for good, we may as well go out in a ‘Grand’ way, don’t you think?”

“Wait… you want us to jump?”

“Yes.”

She blinked and thought about it.

Seeing the look on her face, Jackson said, “It doesn’t have to be soon. You can take time to think about it.”

She nodded, and they were silent for a few minutes. Then, they went back to rehearsing for the play that they might never perform.

* * *

That night, Christabel thought about everything Jackson had said earlier.

Deep inside of her, she knew that something about it was wrong, but she just couldn’t get the idea out of her head that they could leave all worries behind and be together forever.

The desire of her heart drowned out the “But what if…” in her mind.

She had made her decision.

* * *

The next day, Christabel told him her decision.

When they sat down to discuss the trip with their parents, Jackson and Christabel were relieved when they all agreed that the two of them could use a little vacation together, especially with the stress of college coming up. Not to mention, the news about Jackson’s mother, which hung in the air, but nobody vocalized it.

They immediately started planning their trip.

After a couple weeks of planning, they booked two one-way airplane tickets to Arizona. The plane would leave exactly one month from now.

They spent the entire month together, embracing every moment and embracing each other. Their month wasn’t wasted on pointless fights or empty sayings. Rather, it was a month of passion, a month of “I love you.”

* * *

Eventually, the day came.

They got onboard the airplane, spending the whole flight looking into the other’s eyes and talking. There was barely one moment they were not holding hands.

Jackson and Christabel arrived, spent one night in a hotel, and then they set off for the Grand Canyon the next morning.

Upon entry into the national park, they received a map of the whole park.

Neither of them spoke much as they hiked to a place on the canyon where others wouldn’t see them. But they held each other’s hands the whole way to the top.

Eventually, they were standing at the top together. The wind blew through their clothes, beckoning them a few more steps further. No one else was around.

Christabel didn’t think her heart rate had ever been higher in her life.

They walked up to the safety railing and climbed over it. One foot, then the other.

They looked off into what was before them: the beauty and the depth of the canyon. It was mesmerizingly terrifying.

They held onto the railing tightly and turned their gaze towards each other.

“Bel,” he shouted over the wind.

“Yes?”

“I love you!”

“I love you too, Jackson…” She didn’t feel as excited for this as Jackson appeared. He was undoubtedly nervous, but he was also exhilarated.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes… No… Are you sure about this?”

“Nope. But that’s what faith is, isn’t it? Believing even when you’re not entirely sure. Do you trust me?”

“…Yes.”

He grinned and squeezed her hand. “You can do it. We can do it.”

“I don’t know…”

“Remember, it’ll all be worth it in the end. Just jump!”

And so, they let go of the railing, and jumped.