Your password is too short, ask Nick

The elevator doors were just about to close when Nick heard a woman cry out to him. He pried them open with his free hand.

“Thank you, I can’t be late today. Big meeting with the board…”

“No problem, glad to help.”

“You look familiar. Have we met?”

He sighed. “Don’t think so.”

“Hey, now I recognize you. The whole company is talking about you.”

“This is my floor, excuse me.”

He pushed past her.

“Wait please my number is 555-”

The doors closed with a clang. He carried his heavy briefcase up the stairs. The last few steps left Nick breathing hard. He frowned seeing his least favorite coworkers.

“Look who decided to show up. You’re five minutes late, freak.”

“Good morning to you Larry. How’s the wife?”

That was enough to set the guy ablaze. If it weren’t for his lazy-eyed friend, Larry would have tackled Nick right then and there. Nick didn’t slow down. He needed coffee. The kitchen was packed with women.”

“Hey, how’s it going?”

“Fine, fine. I just want some coffee and I’ll be on my way.”

“Are you in a rush?”

“Don’t say that he’s never rushing are you Nick?”

“May I please get a cup of coffee?”

“Oh, what’s wrong? We’re just joking, we know all that isn’t true. Why don’t you tell us what’s what?”

“Better yet show us hihi haha.”

Nick didn’t get his coffee. The kitchen was too damp for his liking. He dropped in his chair and fired up his laptop. Excel sheets kept him busy and blocked out the daily gossip. His phone rang.

“You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Have a seat. Close the door behind you. Want some coffee?”

“Thank you, this is great.”

“It’s a special blend monks in Greece grow. I gave the mayor a bag of this and got him hooked. He said he went down there last summer and bought so much his wife had to fly back home. He filled the whole car even in the front seat, crazy fucker.”

“It’s great, smells like flowers and smoke.”

The boss banged a fist on the cherry desk.

“Exactly: incense and roses. You have a good nose, Nick. That’s not your only talent is it?”

Nick sighed and rubbed his eyebrow.

“Relax I know people around the office have been giving you shit. How long have you been with the company?”

“Three months, sir. I appreciate the opportunity.”

“Did you do those sale charts on the northern brewery?”

“The Thirsty Beaver, yes, it was a team effort.”

Fuck this story and the author. Neverending dialog, I can't even skip ahead because he doesn’t know what a goddamn paragraph is.

“The only thing that made sense in that presentation were those charts. You have a way with numbers and you seem like a fun guy. Tell you what: we’re about to close on a big deal. I need you on this project. None of that sir, call me Bob.”

Nick smiled.

“Thank you, Bob. I don’t know what to say.”

“We’ll talk it over lunch. Do you like fish?”

Sitting in his chair was Nick’s only office friend. Ever since news of his abnormally large penis reached all those in the building Jack was always there to buy him a beer after hours.

“Nick the Dick, what’s up brother? Big boss firing your white ass?”

“Bob wants me to work on another project. We’re having lunch later.”

“Nice you hit the jackpot. Wish I could get a rich boyfriend. First lunch then dinner then he takes you for a ride in his BMW -”

“You don’t think he loves me?”

“Sorry, I think he just wants a slice of that huge dick of yours. He’s playing you, unlike me who would cook and clean, waiting on you with a martini in a cat-maid outfit.”

“Have you seen his wife?”

Nick gestured as if his fingers caught fire.

“I know, I would do anything to be her toilet seat. Speaking of, check out this little number I picked up last night.” The men of culture discussed the finer things in life. Jack was a real shutterbug. Nick congratulated him on his work asking how he’d manage such clear frames while mounting the woman in those awkward positions. Lunch with the boss went smoothly and the fish was great. It was sprinkled with little green capers. They taste tangy and pop if you bite into them. Nick got the project and headed home a happy man. But like all things in life happiness was brief. Inside his small, lonely kitchen big-dick Nick sat atop his stool. He should have been happy, he had a date that night. The woman on his phone was beautiful and young. Nick feared she was only interested in one thing. Not that he disliked sex but he was getting to an age where he yearned for a family. He wanted to retire his freakishly long cock and use it sparingly on his wife as all Christians do. The man learned to cope with his deformity. It was a source of misery and shame and awesome sex. Nick didn't wish this terrible disease on his worst enemy, not even what’s his face from the beginning, the guy in the office who got mad when Nick asked about his wife. 

In the end, the dwarf prince rode atop the fortress, the gates of Ekrund standing tall still not breached for centuries. Not even the orcish hoard was a match for the ancestral home of the Eternal Forge inside the depths of the mountain. The prince knew it was more than iron and bloodshed that lead to victory, it was friendship and standing together united in a cause. Less than a thousand men held back tens of thousands, guided by the light of the Grail. In silence, the prince walked the courtyard glancing at his fallen bredren. With a heavy heart, he glanced at a dying Bandit Jack and placed a massive, girthy two-hander on his chest.