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Urban Fantasy Fantasy

Maddy scrolled through the Life Choice Review templates on her tablet. She nodded her head and peered over at at the old man as she did.


Jerry O’Neil was his name. He looked relaxed, sitting back in his navy cardigan over a white polo. His khakis were pressed, his loafers buffed.


‘A classic look’, she thought.


The man’s eyes were a piercing blue and were alert despite his age. What looked to be blonde locks had long given way to grays and an inevitable, yet forgiving, receding hairline.


Jerry cleared his throat and peered around the room. B-13, like all rooms at Life Cast, was clean, maybe even sterile, but comfortable. The lighting wasn’t too offensive and the AC was set to an ideal temperature. Also, like all rooms at Life Cast, it was sparsely accommodated, with just the two chairs they were sitting on, placed across from each other, and a white table against the wall with a healthy Mass Cane sitting atop it. Crimson wall-to-wall carpeting finished off the spartan look.


“Okaaaay, shall we begin, Jerry?” Maddy said.


“Oh, ya, let’s get going.”


Jerry remembered her, Maddy, the petite thing with caramel-colored skin and wavy dark hair. He even vaguely recalled the two-piece: red blazer and black skirt. 'Professional look,' he thought. She was tinier than he remembered though.


“Wonderful. Let's do it,” she said. The young lady peered up at the ceiling. “Recording,” she uttered, and a pleasant ding chimed in the room. She smiled at Jerry. “Today’s date is August 4th, 2229. This is Madeline Bel with a Life Choice Review statement for patient 1X-L38.4. We are at site twelve, office B-13... Ok, Jerry,” she said, nodding to him, “let’s start with the boring stuff.”


Jerry returned the head gesture.


“Name?”


“Jerrold Alexander O’Neil.”


“Date of Birth?”


“June 27, 2132.”


“Date of death? Oh, wait,” she said, looking down at her tablet, “ I see it here. You asked for that to be an unknown, is that right?” She smiled.


“Ya,” Jerry said. “I like surprises.”


“Uh-huh, good. Place of birth?”


“Sandusky, Ohio.”


“Parents, mother’s maiden please.”


“Sure. That’s Michael O’Neil and Geraldine Spencer.”


“Wonderful.” Maddy looked down at her tablet. The lights there were whizzing and blinking. “Good, now, that we have that, let’s go over your input form.” she said, crossing her legs. “What are we going to talk about today?” She tapped on a few digital buttons across her screen. “Oh, I see it here. Lenore Avery O’Neil, née Grace.” Maddy made a frowny face. “Things didn’t work out, huh?”


“Yea, no, umm… I mean, we were married for decades. She’s a good person,” he said, shrugging with a smirk.


“Yes, of course,” Maddy said, nodding her head slowly.


“But, yea that probably wasn’t one of my better choices.”


“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Maddy said. “But you were married fifty-eight years and raised four children together, umm, let’s see… Ronnie, Bobbi, Ricky and Mike? And there are a slew of grand kids in the picture.“


Jerry looked down at his loafers as he ran their soles back and forth against the red, commercial-grade carpeting. “Yea, well, she just, I don’t know, I think I wanted someone… different.”


“I see.”


“Okay, well, lets run the metrics on her, so I’m clear on what we’re looking for.”


“Sounds swell," Jerry said. He felt good. Now that he was sitting there, reviewing things at Life Cast, a weight lifted. Jerry could see that he had been looking forward to this day for a while, maybe years, maybe even decades.


Maddy danced her hands on her handheld computer and a screen made of holograms and lights appeared mid-air between them, just off to the side. Jerry turned in his chair and oggled the information in the blips and bleeps of the floating screen.


“Ohhh-kay. So, for communication, you gave her a 42.” Jerry was nodding his head. “That’s not so good,” Maddy stated.


“No, she broke down and cried any time we talked about anything difficult.”

“Like what?”


“Financial problems, lack of communication… infidelities.”


“I’m sorry?”


“Yes, well, I was out of work for a spell and —.”


“No, the other bit.”


“Oh yea.” He flashed a dismissive smirk as he waved a hand. “We both had trouble staying in the marriage, and we had flings. It was nothing serious.”


“She wasn’t hurt by that?”


“Yes, I mean, she broke down whenever we’d talked about it, but she got over it.”


“I see." Maddy clicked her tongue as she mulled something over in her mind. "Is the infidelity reflected in the sexual compatibility score?”


“Yes, I believe so.”


“Good, we do like comprehensive numbers here at Life Cast.” She hoisted a smile to her face.


Jerry grinned back.


“Okay, so poor communication,” she continued, her fingers bouncing along her tablet. “Anything else you’d like to add?”


“Ya. She’d spend weekends just staring out the window not talking to a soul. Not even the kids. It was miserable.”


“I see. So, someone more outgoing and not so down in the dumps,” she tapped on the tablet. She shot Jerry a grin. Jerry blinked sheepishly.


“Right. Moving along. Fin-an-cials.” Maddy leaned in, resting her elbow on her leg, and her chin in her hand.


“Well, I handled the money in the house,” Jerry said, adjusting his cardigan. “But she was good with the budget I would set.”


“Yes, I see you gave her a 73. High marks,” Maddy said, arching her eyebrows.


“Yea. I mean, she wasn’t a spendthrift, thank god. At least she got that right. She took care of the groceries and ran the house within our means. That was… that was nice, actually,” Jerry said, furrowing his brows. He looked down at his lap, lost in thought. He remained like this for a few moments. Finally, he inhaled sharply and peered up at Maddy with a blameless look.


“Are you, ok?”


“Yea, fine," he said, with a frivolous wave of a hand.


“Okay… so, moving on, moving on… oooo yea, sorry, Jerry, but I have to ask. Any abuse of alcohol or illicit drugs?”


“No, no. I mean, when she was going through her bouts of staring out the window, yea, she was into the bottle a bit. But, I mean, so was I, right? I mean I’d be kidding if I said differently. So, no I don’t think it was unusual, if that what’s your asking.”


“Oh, no. We just like to track anything that might be at the root of any disfunction or lack of connection.” She tapped a button.


"I see," Jerry said, then cleared his throat.


“Right, so, the bedrooooom. Oo la la, sexual compatibility, intimacy. The old in-n-out.” Maddy held her hand to her mouth. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t know where my head is. That was completely unprofessional.”


Jerry was laughing. “It’s ok. I can use a little 'unprofessional' after a lifetime in the accounting department at Qraps Products Incorporated, I'll tell ya.”


“I’m soooo sorry. Go ahead, Jerry. The floor… is yours,” Maddy said, waving her hand at the rug.


“Ah, yea, ok, Lenore was, uh, hot and cold. Sometimes she was fun, you know sexy. We could go out and have a good time, enjoy a few drinks, do some dancing and… well, she’d be gangbusters in the bed room after a cocktail or two. She’d… oh I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Jerry chuckled, “I’m getting carried away.”


“No, this is what we’re here for, I want all of it.”


“Oh, okay… well, she’d give me all of it.” He chuckled. “Yea, she’d give me everything. She’d leave my toes so curled up, I couldn’t breath. Ya know what I mean?”


Maddy was busy typing away on her screen. She looked up just long enough to simper at Jerry. “So, good in bed?”


“Yea, sometimes. Other times, it was like being in bed with a nun. Just, nothing there, no romance, no sizzle, nothing. And I worked hard, Maddy.” Maddy nodded her head in agreement. “And sometimes when I came home, I dont, know, a man has needs… a man has needs, Maddy.”


She began typing. “A… man… has… needs.”


“I don’t know. I hope I’m not making it sound like it’s all about me.”


“Not at all.” Maddy shook her head.


“But this is my Life Choice Review, right?”


“That it is, sir.


“And nobody’s gonna get hurt, right?”


“Use this opportunity wisely. It’s what you paid for.” She beamed at him.


Jerry smiled a small corner-of-the mouth smile at her. He couldn’t make it a full smile because he couldn’t shake this feeling inside. He wasn't sure what it was, but if he had to name it, he’d call it guilt. But it was faint. Like the sound of someone tapping on a metal pipe a mile away.


“Well, I think we got what we need, Jerry."


"Wonderful."


"Before we run the numbers can I interest you in a half-off deal on a second Life Choice Review we’re running this month?”


“Thanks, Maddy, but I’m gonna stick to my budget.”


“You sure? I don’t know, Jerry, maybe you can strike oil, you know, find that million dollar pot at the end of the rainbow?" She slapped his knee with a grin. “You never know??”


“That’s alright.”


“OK.” She frowned. “Then, why don’t we let old SPANKO here crunch the old digits for us!” Maddy said gesturing with two hands to the screen.

“Swell-ee-o,” Jerry said, leaning forward in his seat. He couldn’t wait for what SPANKO came up with.


“SPANKO! Drum roll please!”


The numbers on the hovering screen blipped and bleeped in a random and rapid manner. After a whirlwind of digital activity, and analyzing the infinite possibilities of two random souls on earth meeting and hitting it off, SPANKO, the error-less AI personality, spit a face up on the screen.


It was an attractive middle-aged woman. She had sandy-brown skin and large hazel eyes. There was a sparkle in them that Jerry liked right away. Her curly brown hair had blonde streaks in it and was pulled back behind her ears. The name beneath it read ISADORE BELLINGHAM.


“Isadore Bellingham,” Maddy said. “Okay. Says here she’s a regional sales manager at Cleveland’s Blandus Corp, loves drinking cocktails and salsa dancing, has a sizable 401k plan and... she's a freak in sheets," she said, side-eyeing him. "Should we do it?"


A swarm of butterflies fluttered in Jerry’s belly. He nodded his head feverishly.


"Great!" Maddy diddly-doo’d the buttons on her screen. “Alriiiight… done, and, done.” She chuckled, and waved her chestnut locks. “Well, I want to thank you, Jerry, for your candor and for choosing Life Cast.” She shook his hand.


“It was my pleasure, Maddy.”


She made some kind of noise that approximated a sound of appreciation, but it was hard to tell.


Maddy got up, and exited the room. She walked to the elevator, casually greeting people as she walked by. When the elevator came, she took the car down to “SUB-4”. That needed a palm-ID. The elevator doors chimed and slid apart at the fourth sub-basement, and Maddy shuffled down the long corridor lined with armed security. She ducked left into a room that was marked “RESTRICTED PERSONNEL ONLY - RECYCLE AREA”.


She waited just inside the doorway where the area’s security sensors buzzed and ding’d, registering her face, retina and heartbeat. The doors hissed opened and Maddy ambled into a large, well-lit room. Women and men wore hazmat suits and stood across from her behind long desks littered with buttons, blinking lights and screens.


She lingered on a glowing, red, circular tile for a few moments until they gave her the thumbs up. Maddy waved back. She walked to the center of the room where a silvery, bubbling mass the size of a door hovered inches from the ground. It hummed softly as she approached it. She could feel it already pulling at her skin.


Maddy held her breath. She always closed her eyes when she walked through this thing, because, goddamit, it was all scary and weird enough, wasn’t it?


She stepped into the shimmering, quivering mass, then disappeared. Immediately, the pushing-and-pulling on her body made her queasy. Her fingers and toes tingled and she got light-headed. The queasiness began rumbling, intensifying towards a sloppy boil. Maddy had absolutely no clue what went on in there, and she didn't want to know. She kept her eyes closed as tight as a pickle jar. Maddy waited for her feet to hit the solidity of the floor again, and when they did, she hopped right out.


She took a deep breath and straightened out her skirt. The people behind the desk in hazmat suits waved. Maddy nodded back with a smirk, then bee-lined it for the door.


She shuddered involuntarily from the whole experience, as she always did. She could never get used to it. It was all so icky. But it was hard to say no to a condo in LA and a beach house in Nantucket, and all the other big and little things her paycheck provided.


She wound her way from the basement up to room B-13, where she opened the door.

“Heyyyy!” she said to the handsome young man waiting for her. She ran her caramel hand along his shoulders as she walked by. The young man had sandy-blonde hair and piercing blue eyes.


“So, I’m back!" she said. "And have I got good news!”


“Really? Swell-ee-o," he said.


She sat down in the empty seat across from him and crossed her athletic brown legs.


His eyes were like big O's as he shifted to the edge of his seat.


“Before we continue, can I interest you in a half-off deal on a second Life Choice Review we’re running this month?”


“Oh, nah, this one Life Choice Review is stretching me as it is," he said, nodding his head slightly. "Wait, did I want one? I mean the other me?


“No, he, I mean, you... you know what I mean, declined as well.” She frowned.


“Oh, ok, he’d probably know best.”


“Mmm-hmm. Okay so, looky here, looky here.” A holographic screen trickled down in mid-air between them, just off to the side. “I have Isadore Bellingham for you. Isn’t she just gorgeous,” she said, wrinkling her nose at him.


Jerry’s face scrunched up. “She looks a little old for me.”


“She is old for you, Jerry. You meet her in your forties. At a Blandus Corp mixer/salsa party. She —." Maddy paused, collecting her thoughts. “Your older self said that… well, we don’t need to name names here, but he said that the special someone you end up choosing wasn’t so special after all. That was the one thing he wanted to change.”


Jerry nodded.


“And SPANKO came up with this belle.” She slapped the young man on his knee. “She’s perfect for you. Now, we’ve charted out a course for you right here.” The display fuzzed out then fuzzed back in with a flow chart, complete with graphs, charts and lots of squiggly arrows. “So, if you go to school for computer science instead of accounting, that will put you at this firm in six years. And after you quit that firm and move in with Denise here, you’ll land at Taedios LTD. You guys get married, but she’s barren, so no kids. You do love her,” she sighed and put her hand to her chest, “but you just can’t go through life without kids, so you get divorced, switch jobs, and end up at Blandus. And that’s where you meet Isadore.”


Jerry swallowed hard. His brows were furrowed and the young man was white as a ghost. He finally exhaled a breath he’d been holding in since the word “SPANKO”.


“Do you like computer science?” Maddy asked.


“No, actually I don’t.”


“We have an app for that, Jerry, don’t you worry.”

February 29, 2024 12:51

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