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Crime Fiction Funny

It is a bright sunny Tuesday, the twenty-fifth of May. Seven in the morning is the perfect time to do the cleaning on Mr. and Mrs. Yale’s house. Anie and Didi stand side by side at the patio in the back door as the latter inserted the key into the lock. They decided to come early today given the feat they have done last week, it's better to be ahead of their scheduled cleaning time.

"I do hope they didn’t mess the place up like last week.”

Anie, the younger and fair-looking lady uttered as she sighed in contemplation. Her brunette curly hair is pinned up and half of it is flowing down her exposed shoulders.

“Well bishh, it's ah' job to clean the house. How they live their lives is their buzniz' and how we scrub afta' them is ar' responsibility.”

Didi, an older baggy clothe' woman answered her. She turned to look at her companion with a raised eyebrow and a turned up grin, her ebony skin glowing in the sun.

“My back still aches from the stunt we pulled off last week. What the hell happened to that painting? It was torn apart in pieces and it's a shame they need to do that. It's a beautiful piece!”

Anie exclaimed as Didi slowly opened the heavy wooden door.

She was undecided about coming here again after the ruckus she has faced last week. If not for the double payout she received, Didi would be standing next to this mansion alone. Besides, the lady next door was offering her the same payout with a lesser space to clean.

The older woman entered first and immediately halted in her tracks.

"What in fuck?!"

“Hey, why did you stooo—p. Damn! What the hell happened here?!”

Anie can’t believe her eyes at the devastation that's in front of her.

If she believed last week’s shambles was a ravage, the state of the house today is way more blown up. She understood that the couple tends to fight now and then, and the living room used to be their constant battleground, but for it to end in this condition is heart-shattering. She felt sympathetic to the house itself.

The white walls were ruined with thrown away reddish liquid, probably a bottle of wine. The glass center table was turned down, shards of shattered glasses were on the floor.

Torn petals of red roses scattered around near the slashed-up leather sofa cover, its cotton paddings sticking out. The bouquet of red roses which almost half of the flowers were missing, she found lying near the white curtains by the window. It was probably thrown there and then forgotten.

Didi started to slowly walk inside looking at the heap of disarrayed furniture in shock.

"Deym! This is crazy ya' know?."

"Well, It's their buzz to live their lives and ours to scrub after them, damn aristocrats."

Anie repeated Didi's words as she makes her way towards the kitchen to get the cleaning materials and start scouring.

The two of them set out to begin cleaning the place. Taking out bags after bags of either broken furniture, spoiled foods, and lots of broken glasses into the trash bin at the back of the house. Seems like the couple has decided to play throw-a-glass party.

No one dared to speak as they tried their best to rescue the place into its original majestic form. The curtains were washed and changed. The fallen paintings were restored and hanged back to their proper places on the walls. A new yellow flower vase with fresh red roses is standing over the sparkling clean glass table.

The couch cover has been sewn to perfection, as Didi works her wonders on it. Anie has done her best too in polishing the stained walls.

After almost three hours of continuous work, the two of them stared at their hard-earned labor. Everything was in place. Didi brushed her hands over her sweat-clad body, as Anie bent forward and backward in an attempt to lessen her back pain.

Both of them looked at each other, the same thing running on their minds,

I'M QUITTING THIS FUCKING JOB.

"Welp, let's mop the floor to finish this up."

Didi said grabbing the mop and s

begin mopping. Anie stands beside her and starting from the back door to the kitchen and the living room, they left no inch of the floor untouched. Until they're almost done and the side towards the front door was the only area left.

"Okay, let's start from the back and go out of the front door then round-up towards the back so that the floor won't be soiled with our footprints."

Anie suggested which Didi nodded in agreement.

They swept side by side moving towards the front door moving backward but as the heavy mahogany door swing open, Didi's butt came in contact with something so she straightened up and turned to look what it was.

"Holy fuckin' cockheads!"

Didi exclaimed in shock as Anie also turned around and almost screamed as she covers her mouth in horror.

Behind them were parked four police cars. Five to seven police officers were talking with each other. One holding a syringe inside a resealable plastic bag while the one in front of him seemed to be taking notes.

Another bulky-looking police officer was bent down on the hood of one police mobile, holding a blueprint while three others looking down at it.

The 'something' that touched Didi's butt was a police yellow line tape with a written POLICE LINE, DO NOT CROSS on it.

They turned towards Didi and Anie in unison. The Chief who was nearby the door while holding a soiled gun in his hands gaped at the two ladies and his mouth opened so wide that the cigarette on his mouth falls to the ground.

"Ladies, I believe you have some explaining to do."

The Chief wearing a navy blue uniform, with a couple of colorful pins on his shoulders, makes his way towards the trembling cleaners.

---------end--------

May 27, 2021 11:30

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