We Deserved A Second Chance

It was a windy day. The day he proposed to me. I was, as others in the class, completely shocked. But more importantly, I couldn't stop myself from blushing. It was like I was a part of a romantic movie which I always watch, the only difference is, I am the lead actress here. Oh, dear! I wasn't able to stop the butterflies playing inside my stomach. So many thoughts going on. I was barely concentrating on what the students around the class were talking about or whispering, aloud. Never had I experienced such a situation. I didn't know what to say, I was just in class 9, age 14. Okay, I agree that many of the students at this age were already celebrating their 1st or 2nd anniversary. Nevermind. I may be confused, but for sure the class knew what I should say. As everyone around me started cheering," say yes! say yes!". I was completely in awe. This was the first time, I was given so much attention and I had to say yes because after all, he(Alex) was my crush from a long time. So after a pause, I uttered a yes! yes to a new start. A relationship. Alex stood up, as he was in his knee to propose me, I know that's cute. Then he again said to me, "I Love You!". Well, I just blushed and I guess he knew my answer. I didn't say," I love You" back as I liked him for sure but I needed time to realize if I loved him too. 

I am Sarah, a high school student, and an enthusiast for writing. Normally, I don't write to publish but for my passion to continue. I write my daily experiences in my personal, much personal diary. Yes, you guessed it right, I also wrote about Alex, the attention I received, and my relationship. It was worth writing. For the first time, I wrote something exciting about my life. That feeling was dreamy.  

The new phase of my life started in May and continued impressively. Alex and I always used to share almost everything that was going on in our lives. We spent evenings together, telling us about each other. He confessed to me that he had a crush on me from last year but wasn't brave enough then. I then confessed too about how I liked him for more than last 2 years but never thought this would happen. He laughed as we both had a crush on each other but never confessed before. He's adorable. Our conversations were never boring and if we had nothing to talk about, we would come up with any random topic but continue to talk. I guess this is what we call a high school love story, pure and sweet, unaware of the future, and just enjoying the present. 

It was more than a year now. We were in class 10. Now more comfortable with each other. And I was pretty sure, I loved him, a lot. We were great together. Cleared each other's doubts about topics we were weak in. He had a great knowledge of literature. Alex was damn good in English and I never spoke to him in English, because I was honestly scared if I made a mistake, how embarrassed I would be in front of him. So he helped me with it all the time. But he was quite bad in Maths, actually bad in solving problems. And I was a top scorer in that subject, not bragging about it though. We helped each other in both studies and personal life. He always supported me whenever I had an emotional breakdown. Also scolded me whenever I fought with my mother. He always praised me for what I am and why I should not change myself. And I guess, I always appreciated how he used to give importance to his family first. And I couldn't help but have already imagined a future with him. I was very sure who I m gonna marry and lead a happy life. I know, I got carried away with my feelings, but they grew stronger with time which I wasn't able to control anymore. 

This phase of my life that was beyond cute, had to suffer also. We had fights, like in every relationship, but would patch up in no time. This was the usual story for the past four years. Yes, we were celebrating our four years of togetherness. We were happy. But a part of me wasn't. It was the last year of us together, as we were in class 12 and had to go for graduation in different universities, as planned by our parents. Different universities, different cities. That only meant a long-distance relationship. I was scared, really scared. But he said that we will try our best to keep this relationship active and lively because we for sure loved each other. I even promised the same but deep down in my heart, I was nervous. The day finally arrived. He went to the other city to study and same goes with me. Starting of this long-distance relationship looked scary but it went well. We used to share how our day went and the new friends we made. Yes, new friends. Alex made new friends as soon as he started studying, both boys and girls. This was the need of the hour. But I was a bit jealous of one of his friend, Krystine. I don't want to accept but she was a pretty girl and I was scared if I lose Alex because of her. I didn't say this to Alex of course. That would have been so childish to be jealous. Here, I was not that comfortable with the new ambience and the people around but I gradually made some friends. Also an enemy too, David. I told everything about David to Alex. And he used to just make fun of him and said not to think about him anymore, I realised he was quite jealous for I used to talk about that idiot. I enjoyed his jealousy though. But he never used to say anything about Krystine, neither how he enjoyed his day with his friends. That always used to upset me. Days went, I had a different surrounding, I was more comfortable with my friends now. I and Alex were talking but not much anymore. It seemed he is happy with his friends and he used to spent almost every day with them. My heart skipped a bit as I realised, we were not that close now. We allowed space to enter into our relationship. It was shocking but I and David became good friends real soon. This affected Alex as he didn't speak to me for a week. But I don't think I was in guilt for having David as my friend. Alex was jealous for sure, I thought this and was relaxed that he still has feelings for me. But after a week he said that he doesn't care whoever my friend is and he was unable to talk to me because he was on a camping. I was hurt. I didn't say that to him, neither did I confronted him. And I guess this was the reason for what happened next.  

We had fights, a lot of it. He never explained to me why he didn't call or texted me for days. he always said that he's busy. I was upset because I knew he wasn't busy at all. I had some friends who studied at the same university. And there were no exam or assignment dues to submit. Now I had trust issues with him. Meanwhile, David was a great support to me. I used to share everything with him. He knew about Alex too. And he always guided me to do the right thing, but sometimes he also persuaded me to break up. I was upset no doubt, but I had no intention to end my relationship. I thought maybe ignoring Alex would work and he will start missing me. So, I didn't text or call him but was waiting for Alex to realise that something was not normal. Days turned to months. And guess what, no text from him. No single text. That day I cried my heart out because I could see this relation was fading away and I was all helpless. But as they say, "Life is a show, and the show must go on!". I started keeping myself busy with works, studies and friends so that I don't think of him. After three months of silence, finally, it happened. He texted. He said we need to talk. I was worried but I knew this has to be done someday. He called me that night. We were awkward talking to each other after so long. We first asked each other if we were well, followed by an awkward silence... Then he said, which I knew but wasn't ready to hear. He said," Look, I don't think this is working and we both are unable to understand the problem. So, I think we should end this relationship and move ahead with life. All the best for your new start." My heart stopped. I wasn't able to utter a word because my throat was heavy and eyes filled with tears waiting to fall off the ground. The moments we had together just flashed in front of my eyes. I was wondering how can he so easily call off a relationship that was four years old. I wanted to say hell lot of things. I wanted to shout at him and make him realise how much I loved him, but then I uttered a word, that I spoke four years back, "yes." I said, " yes, you are right. I guess we messed up. And we deserve a break. A break from this relationship thing and move on. You are right." I knew he wasn't right but I saw no other option and felt, maybe this is right for me. We said a final goodbye to each other and the call ended.

Seven long years have passed and here I am, a professor, my first ever job. I was so so proud of the fact to be one of the young professors of the country. Everything was in its place, except my heart. I had moved on in my life. I was already 25 years old, but not at all interested in married life. A part of me was always with "him". But this time, I was not heartbroken. My high school love story did not make sense to me anymore. I called it a childish mistake. But I wondered where he was and what was he doing in his life. I was pretty sure he must be married, and maybe to Krystine. "Well!", I said to myself, "who cares?". I managed to pack my bags, not forgetting my diary, as I had to leave for a meeting to a different city. For which I had to take a flight at 11:00 am, and it was already 09:00 am. "Damn!, I should be speeding to the airport by now." I surprisingly drove quite fast to the airport. Well, now I was too early to be there. That was not an issue either. But the real issue was coming from the just arrived flight. As the Airport was pretty small, the arrival and departure places were in the same terminal but divided by a partition, just side by side. But that's not important. The passengers were moving towards the luggage carousels, and I saw him, Alex. I could easily recognise him because he looked the same just a little different, like he was a man now. Also, he didn't have beard or moustache grown all over his face. So, recognising him was a piece of cake. He looked handsome though. I was just staring at him, confused. And then, that happened which I didn't want to. He saw me. I knew he too recognised me as his eyes grew wider and a faded smile greeted me. He took his bags from the belt and came towards me. He stopped near the partition and I too walked up to there. We smiled at each other, still awkward, he asked me how I was. I told him, life was good and I was happy as well. For some more minutes we talked, basically just greeted each other and then I headed to my seat. When I sat, I couldn't help but recall the past. After a while, I thought that I have time for the flight and I should write about this incident in the diary, I realised, my diary was lost! I stood up in dismay. My eyes continuously searching the diary. The very personal diary. And then I saw Alex waving towards me. It felt unreal until I noticed my diary in his hand. I was totally scared, wondering if he read something. I reached him very soon and asked him to return it. He said I dropped this book without noticing. I thanked him and asked him still unsure if he read anything. He said he just opened the first page and got to know that it's my diary and then returned me. I don't know why but I wanted him to read the diary and some special pages of course. I wondered if we would meet again. But before I could say anything, he said," I 'm sorry, I shouldn't have opened the diary but I did it by mistake. And I'm glad I did it." I didn't understand at first. Then he asked if I will be free and if we can talk. As it was time for me to leave, I said I will return the next day. And maybe then we can talk. We exchanged numbers and I, with thoughts jumping all over my head, reached to board my flight. Next day, after the meeting and before I caught the flight, I received a text. It was him. he texted the venue and time for us to meet. And he requested me to come by declaring, "It's urgent and important." 

He was there. "Waiting for me?", I questioned myself. As I reached the place. He without wasting time told that he by mistake, read some pages from my diary. He said as soon as he realised it was my diary, he searched for the dates we called off the relationship and the dates we didn't speak. And he was heartbroken. He said to me that he was never interested in any other girl and that Krystine was like his big sister. He confessed to me why he used to ignore me. "I was jealous of you and David becoming close friends and the thing that hurt me the most was that you started liking David." before I could say anything, he continued, "I know, long distance is challenging but that doesn't mean, you could cheat me. I couldn't take it at first and wanted to confront you but I was very angry then and could have said harsh words to you. This stopped me and then I decided to keep myself busy and not to talk to you. I was hoping that you would notice and ask me. But you didn't." I was completely astounded. The words of Alex made me cry. I finally gathered myself and spoke, "Oh Alex!, how on earth you decided that I can like someone else?" I took a pause then said, "I wish you have confronted me, I wish you have told me those harsh words. At least we could have cleared the misunderstanding. I knew it from high school, you are very poor in solving problems not only in maths but in real life too." I asked him, what made him think that I liked David. What he said, was shocking. David had a conversation with Alex about me, where he falsely made Alex believe that I liked the former. I cleared everything, how he helped me when I was upset because of Alex and how he even gave me ideas to end my relationship but I was adamant to keep our relationship intact. We both regretted, how we allowed miscommunications to take place in between us. Then he said, "I didn't marry anyone, because I was not ready to move on. I hope the same is with you." he wasn't sure when he asked this but I could see hope in his eyes. I said with a satisfying smile, " I always made my mind that I have moved on, but you were always in my heart, a part of my heart. So, yeah I didn't marry either." Alex was overjoyed hearing it, so was I. Finally, we confessed to each other our love. Then he came on his knee, and asked, " When I did this for the first time, I wasn't rejected, I am doing it again expecting the same answer." he paused and then continued, " So, Miss Sarah, will you marry me?" my eyes were filled with tears of happiness as I remembered the first time he proposed me, and not wasting a second I said, "Yes! Of course a Yes!".