3 comments

Romance

Heather feels baffled by what she just saw. She couldn't believe that her soon to be husband, kissed her mom but it was so passionate! Her mind was spinning with a million questions. Why would he do it!? It made absolutely no sense.

20 minutes, before this happened...

Heather was getting her makeup done with her mom Catherine and her two sisters Kaitlyn and Ashlyn who were also her bridesmaids. Heather had every last detail done with such elegance. From Flower colors to Fairy lights on the chairs in the altar.

This was going to be the best day of her life. She was marrying her high school sweetheart, Elijah Grey. They had been dating since they were 17 and now, there were 21 getting married. Heather's mom was always so fond of their relationship, to the point, Heather thought she was jealous. Could she blame her mom though? Her dad did die when she was 14. Her mom and dad were dating for years before her dad died. They had gotten together when her dad Connor found out Catherine was pregnant with Ashlyn at 18.

Heather was trying to get her makeup done. 5 minutes before she started trying to get her makeup done Heather, Ashlyn nor Kaitlyn could find Catherine. So they just started on Heather's hair without Catherine. But as it turns out Catherine and Elijah had been talking about how he should not marry Heather in the Men’s bathroom. Finally, 5 minutes later of an intense talk Cathrine had come back and started on Heather’s makeup.

“Mom, where were you?”-Heather.

“ I had to run out to my car and get a jacket.”-Catherine.

“Well okay? Where's your jacket?”-Heather says in such confusion.

“Oh I guess I left it in the car”-Catherine.

“ Okay… Mom, do you think Elijah’s ready?” He seemed a bit off yesterday.”-Heather.

“Honey I think he is totally ready just look at him he is perfect and I bet a great kisser.”-Catherine.

“Ya, he is thanks for the advice. I can’t wait to marry him!”-Heather.

“Your welcome honey, you guys are so cute together!”-Catherine.


Elijah had gone back to his dressing room with his groomsmen or his 2 best friends Micheal and Gavyn. He had told them all about his talk with Catherine and they told him to be smart about it and not to do anything idiotic. Only if Elijah had listened.

(Conversation 22 minutes before the wedding.)

“Well, Heather I’m going to go wait for you in the Alter you got this honey!”-Catherine.

“Okay, I love you mom see you there!’ Heather said with such a big smile.

Kaitlyn looks at Heather and puts a veil on her shoulder-length Blonde hair. Heather's eyes were such a beautiful greenish-blue and they glistened in her sparkly long white wedding dress.

There were 21 minutes until she was getting married So, Kaitlyn and Ashlyn made sure Heather looked astonishing.

When Catherine had exited the room her Red hair had flowed so perfectly when she walked and her light purple dress had shown all of her curves. For her 40’s she was an exquisite beauty. Elijah had entered the hall just as she did and she bit her bottom lip because looking at Elijah with his soft blue eyes and grin was too much for her. His light grey tuxedo was just the look, especially with his French Cropped hairstyle. He had very blonde natural hair. He runs his hand down her thigh and then they start kissing right there in the hallway. He pushed her against the wall with such carelessness and starts to unzip her dress. Forgetting that he is in a hallway she zips it back up but he is still kissing her.

(20 minutes until Elijahs and Heathers’ wedding.)

Heather walks out of the dressing room to get a drink and is in shock to see her Mother and Fiance Kissing so passionately. She doesn’t even know what to say and she stands there for another moment before Elijah looks up and sees Heather. He backs away from Catherine and they look at her without saying anything. Heather is in shock still but she’s crying. Her heart just shatters into a million pieces. That’s when the shock leaves and she is so disgusted by their decisions that she walks over to Elijah and slaps him before leaving the Alter through a pair of Glass doors.

When Heather walks out she is so angry that she gets in Elijah’s car. She sits there for a moment and then starts screaming. She is crying so much that her face is red and looks so irritated. When she’s done, she looks up and sees Catherine crying and running out of the building to the car saying ‘I’m so sorry please forgive me it was a mistake!” Off she runs out so does Elijah which causes a big ruckus leading to half the guest and her sisters coming outside to see what the commotion is. Heather doesn’t want to look at her Mom or Finance anymore. She starts the car and pulls out leaving the Alter causing her guest to be left in such confusion. As she’s driving, Heather decides to go to their house she and Elijah were sharing. When she gets there, Heather opens the door, grabs a suitcase, and starts packing her stuff. She packs all of her clothes and shoes up, puts them in the back of her car, and then heads out to the back yard which has a little shed. In the little shed, she finds a can of gasoline and a lighter. She runs inside and starts pouring gasoline everywhere. When Heather is done she goes outside and makes a trail to the steps so she can light the gasoline on fire and burn the house down. Just when she lights the lighter Catherine and Elijah arrive.

“Honey we can talk about this you don’t have to burn the house down!”-Elijah

“I should though!”-Heather said in such frustration with her mascara running down her face.

“Please don’t do that sweetheart”-Catherine saying in a calm voice.

Heather looks at Elijah and says “ You broke me and my heart so this is what you get maybe next think about what you do before you do it!”-Heather saying well crying but yet still Angry.

Heather lights the trail on fire and the fire spreads to the house along with Elijah running into trying to stop the fire but the fire is ablaze now.

Heather gets in her car with a grin and drives off into the distance leaving her mom and Elijah with the fire.

She leaves Chicago, Illinois behind and goes to Monetary, Alabama with Elijah’s car.








July 30, 2020 04:41

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3 comments

Claire Tennant
02:50 Aug 06, 2020

Well, Sarah, you created a nightmare quality story, I liked the word pictures of Heather getting dressed for the big day and Catherine creating havoc behind her back., particularly ignoring the task of getting Heather ready. However little more emphasis on Heather's emotions would create an image rather than a set of facts The paragraph about being disgusted may have had a greater impact with something like "Heather was so disgusted it showed in her actions, She stomped over to Elijah slapped his face and stormed out, making sure as she w...

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Sarah Sumner
21:17 Aug 06, 2020

Thank you! I really appreciate your opinion, and all though my story had mistakes I continue to learn and grow with advice or opinions such as yours. Without such commentary, I would not learn from my story and go on to continue that mistake without noticing it from another fellow writer. I'm always down for anyone to comment and tell me what they think.

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Claire Tennant
00:31 Aug 07, 2020

Sarah your acceptance of my evaluation tells me what a writer you are: keen to improve your gift as indeed writing is a gift and wise enough to lear.n All of us learn from each other and from mistakes Don't let mistakes turn you off Truth be told I bet Agatha Christie had a few clunky stories before Hercule Poirot or Jane Marple. Keep writing All the best Claire

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