LEFT BEHIND

LEFT BEHIND

“Stop! Stop! We’ve got to go back.”

“Go back? For what? Last night, you told me you were itching to get out of Phoenix. Evan, that’s your name, right? Well, you and me, we’re almost 100   miles out of Phoenix.  You got your wish. “

“But you don’t understand……”

“What I understand is that I usually don’t take on strangers on my drives, Evan. You just lucked out. You caught Grace in a good mood. You must have had some persuasive swagger last night.”

“Evan, yes, the name’s Evan. Evan Weiner.  Swagger?  No, not really. Nobody has ever said that about me.  Could you please pull over so we can discuss this? Please.”

Well, Evan, my name, like I said before, is Grace Hancock.  The Hancocks are thoughtful but stubborn people. And, Evan, with or without swagger, this is my car, and I don’t intend to pull over and get out of it or let you get out of it not on 1-15 traveling at 80 mph. Whatever the reason.”

“ I do have a reason. You might not understand, Grace. I can’t explain. But I need to go back before we get much farther. ”

“Maybe you think YOU need to go back, Evan, but I don’t. My direction in this car is forward.  Grace Hancock is not turning the car around and wasting $100 of gas to go back to a place we just damn left, and since this is a rental it would probably set me back another $100. No way. You have to be crazy or kidding.”

“I’m not crazy, and I’m not kidding. You would turn around …right now…if you only understood, Grace. ”

“If I understood what? I’m all ears.  But I am still driving forward, not backward. Did you have that bad a time last night?

“Uh, no, it’s not that…”

 “You said you were unbeatable at Texas Hold 'em.   Is that what this is about? You lost your shirt, Mr. high roller? Too many shots of Patron Silver, maybe …Or maybe you forgot the winnings and left it in the motel room?? 

“No, no, it’s not the money. And no, I don’t even play poker. And I don’t drink anything stronger than 7-Up.   Look, we’ll be in Sun City soon.   That’s not good. Grace, we need to turn around. We need to go back to Phoenix before we get even farther away.”

“Evan, last night you told me you had ants in your pants to get to Sun City.  Well, we’re almost there. What the hell is back in Phoenix there that you need to see, retrieve, relive, or visit again? It took me an hour to pack this morning after a bad night’s sleep. God, I hate noisy, bit motels. “

“You’re right, Grace, but it will be better if we turn around and go back.”

“Not on your life.  Evan, you and I are finally on the road. And headed north. To Sun City, Arizona. Where you said you needed to be. And I was nice enough to offer you a lift. Why? So you could hit the tables again, is my guess. Who are you kidding that you can’t stand tequila and you never play cards? ”

“But it’s true, Grace.  I never touch alcohol, and I hate gambling.  And Sun City is the last place I want to be. Oh God, we need to turn around before it’s too late.”

“Too late for what?  Are you having a panic attack? You’re the one who told me how much you love love love cross country drives. Well, we’re driving, and I’m not turning around, no way. Wait a minute, are you wanted for something illicit you did in Sun City? You might as well tell me now.”

“No, I’m not a criminal. And I hate long drives; I get carsick.  We need to go back. Grace, I’m begging you.”

“For the last time, we’re not turning around and retracing our steps. Here, relax, take a Xanax, You’ll be fine.  But if I hear a police siren behind me, you will be out of here.”

“I don’t want a Xanax. They give me migraines. I won’t be fine until you turn around and go back.”

“Evan. I’m pulling the car over right now.  Only because that’s a service station up there and we need gas. But don’t get the wrong idea. We need gas to keep going forward, not backward. That doesn’t mean I am turning the car around. . Get out and pump! . Tell me what happened to that Evan I met last night.  What aren’t you telling me?  Speak up, Evan.”

“Alright. My name isn’t Evan. You left Evan behind. “

“I left you behind? You are sitting right here. Damn, If I was still a smoker, I’d be having one right now. Or two. Who are you then if you aren’t Evan?

“ My name is Vince. Evan is my identical twin brother, the one with the swagger, the one who plays poker and drinks tequila.   I was the one back in the hotel room reading a book.”

“Do tell.”

“Remember last night after that hokey square dance when you offered Evan a ride to Sun City? “

“Evan? Meaning you? Keep talking…”

“ He, Evan, thought it would be a joke on you (and maybe me) if he and I switched places. I had a bet that you could catch on right away to the switch. But you didn’t. So I lost the bet, Grace, and you have to take me back. Are you upset? “

“Upset? Of course, I’m upset. What’s the saying? Not boys will be boys but rather identical twins will be twins.”

“Good. Now you understand why we really need to turn around and go back, in a sense, to find me, the me we left behind. The Vince me, not the Evan me. “

“Some joke!  I understand why YOU need to turn around and go back. There’s your prank-playing twin and some bet money to settle.   But there’s nothing in it for me, just the guy I thought I was giving a lift to. The ride is over, buster. Have fun hitchhiking back to Phoenix! “

“You're dumping me and leaving me here?  That’s it?”

“Well, Evan, there are things we all need to leave behind in life. , like our childhoods and our regrets…and in my case, strangers who play bad practical jokes. 

 “Give my regards to the real Evan.  And don’t worry about settling that bet. I already took care of that after Evan hit the hay.   Never hide your loot in your boot, I always say! What do you think paid for the gas!

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