Love Never Dies

Jen Anderson sat two places at the table for a special dinner. Tonight, it was all about celebrating romance, and she intended to do exactly that. She’d carefully prepared the very same meal that she and her husband Michael had enjoyed so many times before. She chose the exact same wine and even played their favorite romantic music. Everything was almost ready. She lit two candles and turned the lights down, smiling in the knowledge that she had created an atmosphere that was just right. As she filled her plate with spaghetti and a side salad, she looked across the table.

Jen supposed that Valentine’s Day was more special to some couples than others, but for her and Michael, it had always held special significance. It was also their wedding day. Michael was romantic enough in his own rite, but not so much that he had planned on wedding his bride on Valentine’s Day. Their plan had been to get married in the summer, June to be exact. Unfortunately, Jen’s mother was ill and her health was declining much more quickly than anyone had expected. Jen desperately wanted her mother to be at her wedding. One night, Michael showed up with flowers for both Jen and her mother, asking what the two of them thought about moving the wedding up. In that moment, Jen realized that every time she thought she couldn’t love him more than she already did, he proved her wrong. She simply couldn’t wait to be married to this man. He was truly the most selfless person she’d ever known and she couldn’t believe that she was fortunate enough to be the one marrying him.

A few short weeks later, her dream became a reality. The wedding was beautiful. There was nothing fancy or overly dramatic about it. It was a short ceremony that involved only the people who were closest to them. Jen didn’t want to have a long, drawn out ceremony that might put too much stress on her mother’s health. All she really wanted was to marry the man she loved and have her mother there for the occasion. At that moment, she had everything she could have ever wanted. 

A lot of people say that it’s easy to feel like two kids in love right after a couple gets married. After all, this is the time when things are still new. Jen supposed it was possible for some people to romanticize the idea of marriage as opposed to accepting the highs and lows of its reality. That said, she and Michael had one of those relationships that comes along once in a lifetime- if you’re lucky. Thirty-seven years later, she still felt the same warmth for Michael that she had when they were first married. Regardless of what they had faced during their time as husband and wife, they had faced it together. As they did, a discovery was made. They used the good times to enjoy their special relationship, as most couples tended to do. The difference was that they also used the more challenging times to grow even closer. Whenever a difficult situation presented itself, they faced it head-on, together. This helped them come out on the other side of things with a bond that was absolutely unbreakable.

Suddenly, a ringing phone jolted Jen out of her reverie. As she rose from the table to answer it, she looked down at her plate and realized she’d barely touched her spaghetti. Just as she’d made her way to the phone and reached for it, it stopped ringing. In truth, she was more than fine with the fact that whoever had been on the other end of the line had hung up. She was far too busy celebrating her anniversary to be bothered by a ringing phone, or anything else for that matter. As such, she returned to her plate of spaghetti. 

At almost the same time, Sinatra’s “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” started playing. Both she and Michael loved that song. As the lyrics played, Jen was transported to some of their most memorable moments as husband and wife. She didn’t think of career changes or moving house. Instead, she preferred to focus on the birth of their two children. This represented one of their biggest challenges as a couple, something that might have broken a lot of marriages apart. They’d tried to get pregnant for years, but it just didn’t seem possible. After five years of trying, they started seriously considering adoption. Then Jen got pregnant. The two of them had never been happier. They were finally going to have a child of their very own, something they’d both dreamed of for so long. All of that joy came crashing down one morning when Jen suddenly woke up with the worst abdominal pain she’d ever felt in her entire life. 

Jen tried to wake Michael, but the pain was so bad she couldn’t even move. Without warning, a new wave of pain came over her that made the pain she’d felt previously seem insignificant. Her screams were more than enough to wake Michael from a deep sleep. He was immediately at her side and remained there, holding her hand as she lay in her hospital bed. He’d never been so worried in his life. When they’d gone to bed the night before, their life had seemed perfect. They had everything in front of them. Less than twelve hours later, his whole world had been turned upside down. He was afraid of losing the two people who were most important to him, and he felt utterly powerless to do anything about it.

After a seemingly endless wait, the news came, but it wasn’t the news Michael had been hoping for. Jen would ultimately be okay, but the doctors had been unable to save the baby. Jen had carried the baby for seven months. Now Michael had to break the news to her that they wouldn’t have the chance to meet the child they had been so anxiously anticipating. 

The next year was a hard one for the couple, but they refused to let it break them. Just as always, they drew strength from one another. There was pain on most days. On some of those days, the pain was so bad that they didn’t know where to turn. The one thing they were always certain of was that they would be there for each other. That knowledge didn’t make the pain of losing a child go away, but it did make it possible to navigate life in the midst of all the chaos. 

After about a year, they decided that they would adopt. Getting approved was a process, but it was an endeavor worth enduring. By the time they neared their seventh anniversary, they were the proud parents of a sweet two-year-old girl. Finally, they had the chance to be a family, all while providing a loving home for someone who truly needed it. As luck would have it, Jen found out she was pregnant just five months later. Two months after their eighth anniversary, Jen gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl. Both children were healthy. Jen and Michael couldn’t believe that after so many years of trying for a family, they finally had one; three children they could dote on right in front of them and a fourth that lived in their hearts. 

Perhaps the best thing about their family dynamic was that everyone was loved and celebrated equally. Their oldest daughter, Erin, was never treated differently from the twins just because she was adopted. Everyone was allowed to find their passion in life and then celebrate the things that energized them. The family treated everyone with love and it definitely showed as they watched their children grow into loving, caring adults themselves.

Just as Jen was smiling at the very thought of their children, the phone rang again. This time, Jen answered to find her oldest daughter on the line. “Mom, how are you doing,” she asked. “I’m okay, thanks for asking. I was just sitting down for our anniversary dinner. I know you probably won’t be surprised, but spaghetti and a nice red wine is on the menu.” With that, Jen’s gaze landed on a custom-framed photograph of she and Michael on their wedding day. It was a stunning photo and had served as the centerpiece of many conversations over the years. It wasn’t taken by the wedding photographer, but by Jen’s mother. She had captured the couple at the perfect moment, hands intertwined as they exchanged rings. In fact, the photograph clearly showed Michael gently caressing Jen’s hand as he placed the wedding ring on her finger. It also captured his personality as he smiled joyfully, his eyes sparkling with life.

“Mom, are you still there?” Jen was again jolted from her thoughts. “Yes, honey, I’m still here. Thank you so much for calling.” There was a long pause as Jen’s daughter struggled to find her voice again. “Mom, you know Dad wouldn’t want you to be sad, right? He loved you so much. All he wanted was to make you happy. He’d never settle for you being sad, especially not on a special day like today.” 

Jen considered her daughter’s words carefully. She knew she was right. Her gaze returned to the wedding photograph as she gingerly reached out to touch it. Michael had been gone for three years now. There was a part of Jen that felt like he’d been gone for ten years and another part of her that felt like it had all just happened. Every year since his death, she’d prepared their favorite anniversary meal and set a place for him at the dinner table. She knew he wasn’t coming back- it was purely symbolic, but it was a way for her to keep him alive in her heart. She missed him more than she could even describe. Part of what made it so hard was that he’d always been so full of life. When that life was extinguished, the silence of deafening. It created a void that Jen had a great deal of trouble filling, no matter how hard she tried. 

Still holding the phone to her ear, Jen fingered her wedding ring. She’d never taken it off, nor did she have any intention of doing so any time soon. Finally, she spoke to her daughter. “I’m okay honey. I’m doing my best to stay busy and stay engaged with things. Tonight, I set a place for your father and I’m having our favorite meal. It helps me feel closer to him. Tomorrow, I’ll be back at it again but tonight, he’s very much alive in my heart. I want to celebrate that.” Jen could hear sniffling on the other end of the line. “I understand, Mom. I really do. Dad was special and his life should be celebrated. I know you do that every day by getting up and doing your best when it would be easier to give up. I’m glad that tonight, you and Dad can walk down memory lane together. Eat some spaghetti for me, and tell Dad I love him. I love you too, Mom.” 

With that, Jen told her daughter she loved her and hung up the phone. Her cheeks were wet with tears, the end result of a mixed bag of emotions. She was still very much in love and she missed her husband deeply. She also loved him with her whole heart, was fiercely proud of the man he had been and still wanted to honor him. Her memories brought her a great deal of comfort, even joy. She smiled when she thought of him. Losing him caused her so much pain, but that pain was worth it. It was the price she paid for having had him in her life. 

As Jen settled into bed that night, her mind drifted to thoughts of her husband. She’d never known a man like him, before or since. He was special. After thinking and reminiscing for some time, her eyelids began to grow heavy. Jen wiped a single tear from her face as the emotion of his absence caught up with her once again. As she turned over to look at the picture of him on her nightstand, she smiled. Physically, he was absent from her life and that was something she was keenly aware of. Perhaps even more importantly, she held treasured memories of him inside her heart. She could see so much of him in the children, especially Erin. It didn’t matter that she was adopted, she had so many of his traits. As sleep claimed her, her mind drifted back to the wedding photo. She allowed herself to replay her memories from that special day. In that moment, she knew with absolute certainty that love never dies.