A Parting Gift

Christmas Eve was never a dull day for Derek. He was managing and preparing Christmas dinner, handling family members who were doing their utmost best at making things complicated, all while simultaneously wrangling four kids, which made for a hectic but memorable holiday season. The hustle and bustle of his home were replaced with a deafening silence of his car interior as he drove down the dimly lit backroads of the outer city. Christmas Eve was never dull for Derek and his family. Even more, now that Penny turned up missing from the festivities and her room.

His train of thought abruptly stopped from his cell phone springing to life. Derek fished it out of his pocket. "Louis," read on the caller's I.D.

"Louis, give me something good, man. Anything turn up yet?"

"Derek, we've searched all over the town. Every bookstore, toy store, candy shop, arcade, mall, and build-a-bear workshop. We've searched every single place a 13-year-old girl would go hang out. Do you know where in the world Penny would be? Any idea at all?"

"After what happened tonight, she will probably see her mother. I'm on my way there now."

The cemetery resided in the quiet, snow-covered outskirts of the city. Street lamps illuminated the parking lot as Derek pulled into an empty parking spot. His Timberland boots crunched and packed the dirty snow. The lock to the gate was broken.

"First running away, now vandalism? Come on, Penny. You know better."

Derek pushed past the gate. The silence of the cemetery deafened his ears. He took one step forward, and his memory took over.

"Past the Rickerbottoms, go through the alley of Lumberton, and then to the far east corner. I always wanted to be buried with a nice view."

The dirty snow blended in and became a new blanket of pure white—all except for a pair of tiny footprints. A faint voice could be heard as Derek made his way deeper into the cemetery.

"I don't even know what you saw in him. He's an idiot, doesn't care about me, and spends more time with my brothers than me. What a jerk of a dad he is."

Derek softened his steps. In the distance, a girl sat kneeling before a tombstone marked "Patricia Jackson - An Angel Sent From God to Love Her Fellow Man. September 5th,1975 - December 24th." The death year was smeared by years of grime and weather. He took cover behind a tree, listening to her speak.

"I mean, couldn't he be a better guy than whatever he currently is? All he does is work, work, work. He never plays with me anymore. I'm a growing girl! I need to be mentally stimulated. Oh, but when Huey or Leon wants to go to football practice, he takes time out of his busy schedule of police work and watching hockey in his recliner to do it. But when I want to get a new stuffed animal or a video game, it's never a thought or a passing glance. Just always brushed off and passed off to the wayside. He's a stupid jerk who doesn't even love me enough to do simple dad stuff."

Derek's heart sank deep, hearing Penny spew venomous claims. The insults, the badmouthing, and the attitude all made sense now. Christmas was always a hard time for him and his family, but it had never reached a situation that would lead to someone running away in the middle of the night. He stepped out from behind the tree and approached the tombstone.

"I don't think your mom would appreciate you badmouthing me. She never tolerated disrespect like that."

Penny froze and glanced back. Her fear turned to anger immediately at the sight of Derek.

"Oh! So now that I ran away after putting up with all of your ignorance and brushing me off, you finally pulled your head out of your butt and came after me. Wow, Dad! Congratulations, it took me being possibly put in danger for you to start caring."

"Penny…"

She scrambled to her feet, scooping up snow and packing it into a ball. 

"No! You knew if I got hurt, you'd look like a bad dad, but you're already a bad dad anyway, so what's the use?"

She chucked the snowball, nailing him directly in the face. Derek wiped the snow out of his eyes. Another snowball hit him.

"Penny, knock it off."

"No! This is what you get, you jerk!"

Penny reached down and packed another snowball, pelting Derek one after another. 

"Alright, you asked for it."

Derek reached down and packed his snowball.

"Don't say I didn't try."

He flung the snowball with the force of a Major League Baseball pitcher. The snowball nailed Penny directly in the face, knocking her down on her rear. She coughed violently, hacking up snot and blowing her nose. She wiped her face as tears welled in her eyes.

"You….asshole!"

"Watch your language, young lady."

"Oh, why all the sudden parenting, Dad? Why did you even bother if you weren't going to come and change?"

She struggled up to her knees, looking down at the snow.

"All you do is take care of my stupid brothers and never pay attention to me. You always put them before me! Every day, it's the same routine of me doing everything myself and never getting taken care of. I should call child protective services on you for child neglect."

Penny looked up, the street lamp blinding her. She lifted her hand to shield herself, but Derek was already towering over her, blocking any incoming light.

"If I didn't care about you, why did I call the entire NYPD to go out and look for you? Why did I call all my military buddies to come out and search for you when it's almost midnight? If I didn't care about you, why did I contact every immediate family member in our area to get up and start looking for you? There is a helicopter with a spotlight flying over the city and neighborhoods as we speak, looking for you, little missy. Do you know how terrified we were when Huey burst into the living room saying you were gone?"

Penny avoided eye contact. Her sporadic, rapid breaths materialized in the cold air, on the verge of breaking down.

"If I truly did not care about you, why did I go through all this trouble to find you?"

Penny gritted her teeth, and her blood boiled. She looked up at Derek. Her eyes were bloodshot from tears.

"I HATE YOU!"

She charged Derek, hitting him but failing to knock him down. She pounded her fists onto his stomach and chest. She was flailing and cursing in a fit of rage.

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate, hate, HATE YOU!"

Derek grabbed Penny's arm and turned her around. He picked her up, restraining her in a bear hug. Penny kicked her legs, screaming violently and thrashing.

"Calm down."

Derek held Penny close and tight to his chest.

"Calm down."

Penny bit Derek's arm, barely breaking the coat he wore.

"Penny, listen to me. Calm it down."

She let out one final scream, slowly becoming a painful, saddening cry. She hung in the air, held up by Derek in his arms. She was sobbing into his forearm.

"Why couldn't it have been you? Why couldn't it have been you in the grave and Mom up here? I wish it were you in the ground!"

Derek took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"I sometimes wish I was down there, and she was up here too."

Penny slowly seized her crying, trying desperately to control her breathing.

"Can you please put me down?"

"You gonna assault me?"

She pondered his question in silence.

"No…"

Derek released Penny into the snow. She knelt back down on her knees. Derek joined her.

"Your mother wouldn't want you to be like this. Especially on Christmas. Christmas was her favorite holiday."

"It's also my birthday. Not like you knew anyway."

"That's right. Well, you were born on Christmas Day. At exactly one minute past midnight."

"And she died on Christmas Eve."

He reached toward the tombstone and brushed off the snow, cleaning it.

"Your mother was an amazing woman. One of the loveliest women I had ever met."

"She means more to me, jerk. She was my mom."

"Well, she was my wife."

"Ew."

"Whatever."

Derek looked up and down the tombstone, examining the markings and lettering.

"I told them not to use that font. She hates that font."

Penny let out a small laugh.

"Bet she doesn't like seeing that when she's looking down on us."

Penny leaned into Derek's side.

"I still can't believe she died out at sea. Why did she go out on that sea expedition?"

The phrase "sea expedition" struck a nerve with Derek. After all these years, he had forgotten. He looked down at her. Her focus on the tombstone. He knew it was time. Now or never.

"Penny, it's Christmas Eve. You know our household has one present rule. Where you can open one present on Christmas Eve. I have a gift for you."

She leaned away from his side.

"I don't want it."

"Too bad I didn't keep the receipt. So you're getting it anyway."

Penny let out a groan and crossed her arms.

"Fine. What stupid gift did you get me? Bet it was meant for Huey, and he didn't want it, so you're trying to pawn it off on me."

"Well, technically speaking, your mother is the one who got it for you."

Penny arched her eyebrow.

"What?"

Derek reached over and brought Penny in closer to his side.

"Penny, your mother. She didn't die out at sea. She died in a hospital."

"Yeah, she was airlifted from the sea and passed away at the hospital from complications in care. I already know that."

"No, Penny. That's not what I meant."

"What are you saying?"

Derek took a breath, then spoke.

"Penny, I'm saying that the story that you were told about your mom is fake."

Penny's breath ceased.

"What?"

"It was a story the whole family made to protect you. Keep you safe until we felt you were ready to know the truth."

Penny's nerves began to wear. She glared up at Derek.

"You've all been lying to me?"

"I'm sorry, Penny."

The howling wind was the only sound that broke the tension. Penny swallowed her sadness and spoke.

"What happened to her then?"

Derek reached forward and brushed off the snow from the tombstone, wiping away the grime on the death date.

"When you were in your mom's tummy, we were ecstatic that you were a girl. Your mother always wanted a girl. We'd spend days with the boys researching, reading, and making your room. It was a whole family event."

Derek took off his hat and placed it on the ground. He removed his gloves and sat them on the grave.

"As time passed, I started noticing some weird things with your mom. She was sick a lot of the time. We just brushed it off as hormones acting up. That was until one night."

"One night?"

Derek steadied his breath, desperately trying to maintain his composure.

"I found your mother passed out on the bathroom floor. She had been throwing up blood. I had never panicked so badly in my life. I rushed her to the hospital. I got her in the ICU. Then I had to wait. I was a wreck in that waiting room."

"It was that bad?"

"Turns out, your mother had developed an auto-immune disease. A sort of infection in her body. It was killing her from the inside. It was also targeting you. Her internal system didn't recognize you anymore and saw you as a threat. So it was trying to kill you inside her."

"That is…terrifying."

"I know. She stayed in the hospital until you were ready to be born. It was extremely difficult for the whole family. Because we didn't know if she was going to beat it, or if the disease was going to claim one of you, or worst case, both of you."

Penny remained silent, listening and soaking in the details of the story.

"I practically lived in that hospital room with her. I stayed by her side the entire time. Sometimes even sleeping in the room with her. It still pains me today when I remember seeing her hooked up to all those machines and tubes."

"How long was she in there?"

"She was in her last months of the pregnancy. A few weeks. Then, the day finally came."

"I decided to come out?"

"She began labor on December 23rd and didn't finish until the next day. Twenty-four hours of labor."

"I was that stubborn, huh?"

"I was about ready to grab you by the leg and pull you out myself."

"Gross."

The two shared a small giggle at the thought. Derek continued.

"I thought everything was going smooth. Until you came out. The second you came out, the doctors took one look and rushed you to the ICU."

"What? Why?"

"You were born without your heart working. No heartbeat. Stillborn. The virus got you. Doctors sprang into action and started trying to revive you. I thought that was the worst of it. Then I saw your mother's face."

"Bad look?"

"She was in tears. She was crying and calling out to God. I held her hand and tried to console her as best I could. Then she said that infamous phrase that changed everything."

"What did she say?"

In the distance, the cemetery clock tower struck midnight. The toll of the bell rang out through the sprawling graveyard.

"She said, take me, Lord. Take me instead. Leave her alone."

Penny's eyes widened. Her jaw was agape.

"She knew death had claimed you in his cold clutches and in that moment. She made a choice."

Penny spoke in a choppy tone.

"What was that?"

"She did the thing nobody ever thought was possible. She bargained with death."

Derek wiped away the tears in his eyes. His wedding ring shone in the lamplight.

"I held your mother's hand as I heard her heartbeat slowly cease. I was the last person to be with her as he faded away. She was declared dead at 11:59 pm. Christmas Eve. 

Derek reached down, taking hold of Penny's hand.

"At 12:01 am, Christmas Day, I held my daughter's hand. Who was successfully revived by the doctors."

Derek hugged Penny tight on his side.

"The way things went is that your mother knew it was either you or her. Both of you were in bad shape. So she did what mothers do. She took care of her child. She gave you the rest of her energy so that you'd survive. At the cost of herself."

Penny's mind raced, piecing the puzzle together in her mind.

"Your mother's final gift to the world was you, Penny. Your mother lives inside of you. Inside of your heart and soul. That was her final Christmas gift."

Penny withdrew her hand from Derek. She shuffled on her knees closer to the tombstone, wiping off the remaining grime from the death date. 

"December 24th. 2010."

"One day before my birthday."

Penny looked back at Derek, her vision blurry from the hot tears stinging her cold, red cheeks. She looked back at the tombstone. She lunged forward, wrapping her arms around it, hugging it tightly.

"Thank you, Mommy…."

A small jingle erupted from her pocket. An alarm was set for that day. The song mimicked a holiday rendition of "happy birthday."

"I should have never lied to you, sweetheart. I just wanted to protect you. I'm sorry that I haven't been more involved in your life. Every time I look at you, I see your mother. Her death affected everyone, but I didn't want it to affect you."

Penny let go of the tombstone, kneeling before it. Her head hung, staring at the ground. Her tears melted into the snow.

"I'm sorry, kiddo. I know you've been upset, frustrated, and angry. I'm not going to pretend I understand your feelings fully, but I know how it feels to miss someone and feel unloved."

Derek rested his hand on her shoulder.

"I do love you, kid. It's called unconditional love for a reason. There isn't anything in this world that would stop me from loving you. And I'm sorry if I haven't been expressing it to you as much as your brothers."

Penny glanced back to Derek. Her lip tucked in, eyes sparkling from tears. In the distance, police sirens drew closer.

"Am I in trouble?" Penny asked, fear and anxiety clouding her mind.

"Not today. Not on Christmas."

Penny shuffled over to Derek, burying her face and body into his chest. 

"I love you, Dad. I'm sorry for worrying everyone."

Derek engulfed Penny in a fatherly embrace.

"I love you too, kiddo. Happy Birthday."

"Merry Christmas." She said, her voice muffled.

Voices and rapid footsteps in the distance drew closer to Derek and Penny. Police officers, family members, and friends converged on the cemetery as a helicopter appeared above, shining a spotlight on the two. 

"By the way, after Christmas, grounded. One month."

Penny groaned in his chest.

"Oh, come on!"