Yesterday's Boomerang

It being that it took forever to get to yesterday, I stayed in the now and waited for the boomerang to come. Sooner or later, the pieces would come together and form a clearer picture for me. If I believed in miracles, I'd have to be patient and hope for the best.

"Hi, Mom," I said, as I smiled at the most beautiful woman in the world and winked. Her light blue eyes seemed darker somehow, as though she'd lost some of the color in her life and felt mystified.

"Hello, there Miss. Would you mind taking me for a walk outside? I'm expecting a visitor today." Once again, my mother didn't know who I was or why I was in her room. Everything was different now. Dementia was robbing our family.

"Mama, I'm your youngest daughter. Don't you remember me? I'm Laura." At 60-years of age, I was three decades younger than the woman who raised me and catching up fast. I was very much like the parent now though and mother was very much a child to me.

"Don't be silly, now. I don't have a daughter. I have five sons and they don't bother to come around." Mama's memory was slipping away and she didn't have any time to hear the facts. I simply whispered the truth to myself and pray for a miracle.

"My dear lady, you are a little confused," I said, "A long time ago, you gave my daddy two daughters and a son. Peter is your oldest boy and your little girl Becky is 65-years old now. Your son Peter was here to see you a few days ago. It was his 67th birthday."

To change the subject, I reminded Mama that her snow white hair needed a good brushing from me. She giggled like a child and spun around to face me, laughing a lot like a 5-year old would and I laughed with her. She thanked me when I told her I'd be more than happy to help her get dressed for the day.

She was in a hurry though and I shouldn't take too much time fussing over her. Two of her favorite friends were on their way to give her a lift to the farm. She'd comply, if I promised to speed up and help her pick a pretty outfit to wear.

How could I find it in my heart to say that no one was even coming? Mama's papa died many years ago and there was no longer a farm. These things were all in her mind and her mind wasn't what it used to be.

Even so, she believed Joan and Mabel had called her the other day. Sister Joan was her precious baby sister and the two siblings were inseparable. Joan had the same blue eyes and was the tomboy type. Mabel was Joan's long term best friend from the yesteryear.

Joan was promoted to heaven in 1979 and Mabel passed on two years after her. The two ladies would be at heaven's gate to welcome her home someday. Mama was a widowed and lonely woman, living in a memory care center, and dying.

I brushed Mama Denise's hair, looking at our reflections in the mirror, and smiled. I was my mother's mini-me in every imaginable way I could think of. Her eyes were my eyes and everything I saw was like a reoccurring dream.

If only I could wake up and find the old mom I had when I was young. It seems that the new mother I had was a stranger to me now. She spoke in rhymes and riddles that I could not follow. She wanted to live in a time that no longer existed.

Yet, she was very much an angel in disguise, dressed to the tilt in the beautiful white dress she'd chosen. If she were able to walk, I'd dance with her into the world of yesterday. Her white fluffy hair would turn the light brown again and she would be vibrantly alive.

"Miss, bring me my tennis shoes, please. I don't want to keep the ladies waiting. They've been on the road for three days to get here. Hurry up with it." I listened to my mother's orders and sensed the boomerang was headed our way.

Chicago winters are very cold and none of the residents are allowed to go anywhere. Though the old Victorian cottage stands on a grassy hill in the heart of the city, no one leaves the premises without an escort.

Time passes and the tears flow, as my beloved mother cries for answers and no answers come. She wants to know why the ladies have forgotten her. Plans have been made and the ladies were going to visit Papa on the farm today. In fact, mama was leaving the facility to live with her parents.

By the time Nurse Carol come to the room, mother had worked herself into a frenzy. She fidgeted and fought, demanding to let be out of her wheelchair. She wanted to leave and no one could stop her. Maybe if she waited awhile longer, the ladies would come. Perhaps they simply couldn't find the facility and had gotten lost.

It took some time talking my mother into taking a nap, as she was obviously exhausted all of her energy for the day. All I could do was sit next to her, stroking her hair, and singing her favorite songs to her. I had to leave her for awhile and collect myself.

I'd give the past back to her if I could. I cannot. All I can do is hold her when she cries and laugh with her when she's happy. There are some days she even seems to remember me. To me, she's my 91-year old forever friend and I will never let her go.

"Mom, I love you." I said.

I tiptoed out of her room, turning back to see her sleeping, and made a wish for her. I wished that she would see me in her dreams, walking on the shores of the ocean, hand-in-hand, and that I was her little baby girl again.