How to Get a New Body in Three Easy Steps

Tina stalked the park for the person who would save her from herself. Picking out a target wasn’t simple. It had to be someone she could manipulate. Someone her age would be easiest, so between 19 and 21. Most of all she required beauty. Her target needed to have confidence baked into her bones. She needed to look in the mirror and see the best version of herself every day. There was only one person who came to mind: Minnie Carson. 

Minnie was one of Tina’s best friends in middle school. Some of her fondest memories were from sleepovers the two had. Tina used to make fun of how she threw up from sadness anytime they watched a sappy movie. It became an inside joke for them. Unfortunately, the girls grew apart when Minnie hit puberty. While her best friend was pulled into a fantasy, Tina’s life became a nightmare. Minnie grew boobs while Tina remained flat-chested. Minnie’s waist slimmed where Tina’s expanded. Minnie never had a dot of acne on her face, but Tina’s was often more red than pale. Every magazine, tv show, and influencer told Tina that she was supposed to look like Minnie. Her parents always told her that she’d blossom like a flower when puberty hit, but instead, she wilted like a weed. The difference between herself and Minnie grew to be too much for Tina. She only saw what she wanted, nay what she deserved, in her. Minnie was sad to see her best friend push her away, but in time she got over it. Tina never did. 

Suddenly facing the world alone did very little for her mental health. An anxiety that had nested long ago, bloodily burst from her chest for all to see. Social events were a non-existent entity in her life. She watched her ex-bff expand her circle of friends on social media and allowed her hate to fester. One of Minnie’s boyfriends caught Tina drawing herself with Minnie’s features and posted it for the whole school to see. She never knew that Minnie broke up with him over that incident. A fantasy stirred up in her mind where she planned the whole thing to further prove how much better she was. College promised a new start, but nothing is truly new. Tina was pulled deeper and deeper into her own mind until everyone else was little more than a silhouette.

A few months later, Tina openly stared at Minnie, who sat reading on a bench about fifty yards away. In one hand she held a red hydro flask, in the other she palmed a small clear vial about two inches long. The vial was filled with a violet, bubbly liquid. It was purchased from a friend she made on Reddit who specialized in “real-world magic.” He claimed that he could make potions that reacted to the will of their maker. If the owner’s resolve was strong enough, it could do anything. By that point, Tina was looking for any way out of the darkness she’d wrapped herself in so magic wasn’t far-fetched. Her friend sent over the ingredients and told her to imbue them with her will. She didn’t really know what that meant, but she thought really hard about what she wanted while making it. When it was all done, it didn’t look like much, but it was all she had.

“Hey, Minnie,” Tina said with uncharacteristic joy.

 Minnie looked up from her book and smiled. Tina hadn’t seen her radiant smile up close for years. It almost made her rethink her plan. 

 “Oh my god, Tina!” Minnie said, standing up and spreading her arms for a hug. “It’s been so long. How are you? How’s college? How are your parents?”

  “Good, good, and good, actually. I’m doing well. What about you?”

 “I’m great! I just got back from school a few days ago. Sorry if I’m a little hyper, I’m still coming down from the anxiety of finals. I wake up every night feeling like I forgot to take one.”

Tina forced herself to laugh, but the hate was already boiling a stew in her stomach again. Minnie even talked perfectly. She had a sing-song inflection that made every word seem important. Meanwhile, words fought to escape from Tina’s mouth. They played ping pong with polite conversation that drove Tina nuts. She nonchalantly placed her hydro flask next to Minnie’s identical one. 

“Oh damn, great taste in water bottles, girl!” Minnie said.

What she didn’t know was Tina had heavily researched her social media pages to buy an exact copy of her hydro flask. Other than the potion, it was the most central part of her plan. When their conversation reached its natural conclusion, Tina was awkwardly pulled into a hug and left with Minnie’s bottle. In the privacy of a porta-potty, she deposited half the potion into it. The water inside fizzled but after a second appeared completely normal. Minnie thanked her when she ran back to return the bottle that she “accidentally” took. Tina couldn’t believe it had all gone to plan so far. Now she just needed to wait.

For the potion to work, both women needed to drink their half at the same time. This meant Tina needed to keep Minnie in her view until she took a sip of water. The tree she hid behind was between her target and a playground, so many little kids made fun of her while she waited. After twenty minutes, Minnie finally put down her novel and reached for her water bottle. In tandem, Tina uncorked the vial with the rest of the potion and held it to her lips. As Minnie tilted her bottle back, Tina did the same with her vial. The potion filled the mouths of both women at exactly the same time. The taste was fruity but bitter. It didn’t bother Tina, but Minnie cringed as it hit her tongue. 

No time was wasted on the potion’s effect. Tina felt her body begin to melt and deform. On the bench, Minnie panicked as the same happened to her. Her skin became like a wet glob of cheese fallen off a slice of pizza. It expanded like a thick foam, consuming her features. Her fingers merged with the rest of her hands, then her arms were sucked into her torso. Her legs stuck together making her lower half look like that of a fleshy mermaid. Her screams were muffled as the skin on her face enclosed her mouth then her eyes and ears. Within a minute of drinking the potion, Minnie had transformed into a meaty, pulsating chrysalis. Behind a tree, to the horror of the children on the playground, Tina had gone through the same process. 

People gathered around both cocoons, now wondering if The Thing was based on a true story. They picked up the women’s clothing which had ripped off in the transformation. An errant child poked the blob that had been Tina with a long stick. The tip of the stick sunk deep into the cocoon and when the boy pulled it out a hand came with it. A petite, Barbie-like hand. The circle of people jumped back several feet and the boy ran to his mother. As if it were the first process in reverse, the blobs began to reform. Legs separated, arms escaped from torsos, mouths opened. The fleshy foam dissolved and revealed the potion’s true effect. Naked and covered in slime behind the tree was Tina, who now resided in Minnie’s body. 

 Mothers covered their children’s eyes from the sight before them. Tina stood up and almost immediately fell over again. She was used to much more weight around her hips and smaller feet. A few yards away, Minnie screamed in terror and confusion. She had lost two inches of height and gained several pounds. There was no way for her to see that she had transformed into Tina without a mirror, but she knew what happened when she saw herself peeking from behind a tree. She rolled off the bench and got to her knees but couldn’t move any more than that. Tina staggered over to her, still not used to her new body. 

 “You bitch! You rotten bitch!” Tina coughed. “This is what you deserve for everything you did to me! Now you’re trapped in that body while I get to live out the rest of my life in yours. I’m gonna live the life I was promised, while you feel the shame I’ve been saddled with forever!”

Minnie cried, but her tears were invisible amongst the slime covering her cheeks. Tina gained her balance and stood over her lifelong foe. She laughed at her misery.

“You get it now, don’t you?” She asked. “You understand the misery of being me. That potion will probably bring you back down to Earth.”

“I’m not crying because I’m you now,” Millie sniffled.

“Then who are these tears for,” Tina said, smug.

“You,” Minnie cried. “I can’t believe that you felt trapped in your own body. I always thought you were beautiful. Since we were little kids when you were so much taller than me. I was obsessed with Wonder Woman, remember? You were like an Amazon to me. A gorgeous warrior princess who was kind but powerful. When we grew apart, I don’t know, I thought you thought I was too dumb for you. You read so many books and I could barely get through Harry Potter.”

“What? No, this isn’t right.” 

“Y’know, I felt trapped too sometimes. I’ve had eating disorders since I was fourteen because my body wanted to grow but I didn’t want it to. You could have talked to me. Maybe we could have made our lives better.”

“Please stop being nice to me!”

“Oh god, Tina. I’m so sorry. I feel so awful I could…”

Minnie stopped mid-sentence as a pale green sank into her face. Tina’s eyes shot open in realization. Her friend had told her that they must both drink the potion. If not, disaster could strike. She rushed to Minnie’s side and tried to help her up.

“Wait no,” she said. “You have to hold it in. Please. Do it for me.”

It was clear that Minnie tried to do as Tina asked, but her guilt and sadness were too much. She spewed her lunch of a bagel with cream cheese onto the pavement along with the half-potion she drank. Like before, the effects were immediate. Tina’s skin drooped off her bones like laundry from a line. At the same time, Minnie writhed in pain as her body also transformed. The anger in Tina dissolved along with the rest of her. Somewhere deep in her subconscious, she knew this would happen. It’s possible she even wanted it. Soon she was a puddle of snotty, goop spreading over the sidewalk. 

Minnie did not fully transform back into herself. She retained some of Tina’s traits and got back some of her own. She lost several inches in height and her face was covered in red dots, but her breasts grew back and her waist slimmed. Strangely, years later, after her family and friends grew used to the changes to her appearance, Minnie felt more at home than ever in her own skin. In a morbid way, it was like keeping Tina with her wherever she went. That thought brought her peace.