Once Upon a Friendship

Because of me, my mother thought the worst of my best friend.

Well, she was no longer my best friend. I made sure of it. I pushed her away. Because it was easier than telling the truth. I stole money from my school and blamed her for it. Who did that?

I was an awful person, I know.

But in my defense, I felt trapped. And any decision looked terrible. Meaning I threw my best friend, Amanda James, under the bus. It haunted me, what I did. And now that it was our last semester in high school, I couldn't stand the thought of Amanda resenting me. 

It kept me up at night. 

I knew I had to tell my parents the truth. About what I did with the money. That Amanda had nothing to do with it. But for all that was holy, I felt terrified. What would they think of me? They would be disappointed. 

Though they couldn't be more disappointed in me than I was with me, right? Sighing, I looked in Amanda's direction.

First things first.

I had to talk to her. Better do this now than having it eating at me for years. I doubted I had the strength to pull it off.  "Hi," I said, trying to sound cool. I failed.

Amanda sighed, dropping her shoulders. The dark circles under her eyes alarmed me. Why did she have dark circles? What was going on with her?

"What do you want, Jo?" 

I took a deep breath. "I want to apologize. For everything."

She stopped closing her locker midway. "You chose the wrong day to apologize, Jo. I want nothing to do with you anymore. Just leave me alone."

I frowned. This wasn't like her. I stepped closer. "Amanda, what's wrong?"

She finished closing her locker. "I don’t want to talk about it."

Then she left before I could say anything. Whatever had her on edge was bad. Now I felt even more terrible. Amanda had struggles to deal with. And I made her life hard with my lies. Why did I blame her?

Because it was the easy way out in that moment. 

Now I had to figure out how to help her. I owed it to her after what I did. I had to say the truth. Yeah. My mother would be thrilled. But what options did I have? 

***

My mother’s stern gaze made me squirm in my seat. "Please repeat what you just said. I think I heard you wrong." 

I closed my eyes for a moment. She heard me the first time. She only wanted to torture me even more. I reopened my eyes. "Amanda didn't steal anything from the festival last year. I did."

She started to pace the room.

I looked away, shame taking over me. I played with my hands in my lap, wishing I could go back in time, and do things in a different way. That’s the thing though. We can’t change the past.

"Why did you do such a thing, Josephine? It’s not like we need to steal! Why on Earth did you take the money?" she came to a halt. "And what did you do with it?"

I looked down at my hands. This was what I dreaded from the moment I took the money. "I gave it to my boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend." I said in a low voice. I had the hope she missed my answer.

Of course, I wasn't that lucky. 

My mother tilted her head. "What boyfriend?"

I buried my face in my hands. "I swear I didn't know he was a dealer who owned money to dangerous people. I gave him the money so he would pay them. They said they’d come for me and my family if I didn't help him get the money.

“It all happened so quickly that I didn't know what else to do. So I took the money and blamed Amanda. I knew she would be fine since her dad was the president of the school’s board. Me, on the other hand, I wasn't so sure I could get away with it. I…I didn't want to disappoint you. I’m such a mess. I’m so sorry."

My mother sat down in front of me, shaking her head. "I don't even know what to say or think right now."

I nodded. "I want to make things right with Amanda. She seemed so... off this morning. I'm worried about her."

"Her parents are divorcing. It must be hard for her." At her words, I looked away. My friend suffered while I sat here. "Why didn't you come to me with this before? I don't understand."

I almost laughed. "Mom, you've no idea how to listen. And dad isn't any better. He’s never here."

She touched the ends of her hair. Her nervous habit. "Still, what you did was wrong, Josephine. And there are consequences to our actions."

I sighed. "Believe me, I know."

"Wait! Are you still with that guy?"

I pursed my lips. "No. We broke up."

"Thank God," my mother said, relieved.

"So, what's my punishment going to be?" better get it out of the way. 

***

To this moment, I didn't know the answer to that question. All I knew was I had to make things right with Amanda. At lunch, I sat down with her. She had a secret spot behind the library we used to share. 

"I told my mother the truth," I said when she refused to acknowledge me. "I'm going to tell your father next. I went as far as to make a date to talk to him."

"My family’s broken, you know," Amanda said, her eyes a mile away.  "It doesn't matter if you say the truth. It won't change a thing."

I sat down next to her and linked our gloved hands. "I 'm here for you. And again, I'm so sorry for what I did. I can't believe I did that to you."

"To be honest, I get why you did it. I would've probably done the same if I'd been in your place."

I chuckled. "I can't believe I dated that guy. He was a terrible person."

We burst out laughing. "You, my friend, have terrible taste in guys," Amanda said.

"The worst."

"What do we do now?" Amanda placed her head on my shoulder. Dark clouds covered the sky while we stayed silent. 

Amanda turned her gaze to me. Her hazel eyes had more life in them now. It put a smile on my face. "We plan our futures, Jo. That’s what we’re going to do.”

“That if my parents let me out of the house after what I did. They're pissed about it. I don't know what they're going to do to me. Chances are, you’re going to go to college alone."

"I'm sure it won't be that bad."

"I hope you're right."

It turned out, my parents sent me to a summer camp as a volunteer. A camp for girls that came from neighborhoods with high rates of poverty. They said I needed to value what I had. What kind of counselor would I be? One with a bad record.

And about Amanda's father, he wasn't happy with my confession. Though he had better things to do. That day, I vowed to treasure her friendship with his daughter. It was the least I could do. 

***

As I got out of my mother's car, I spotted a familiar one approaching.

It was Amanda's. What was she doing here? We were supposed to meet at the end of the summer. Then we’d drive to school together. "Hey, girl," Amanda said. 

"What are you doing here?" I didn’t dare hope.

"Well, I took pity on you and decided to volunteer too. That way, you wouldn't miss me so much,” she said with a smile. 

"Seriously?"

She threw her arm over my shoulder. "Yes."

I smiled. “You’re the best.”

Amanda winked. “I know.”

We had the time of our lives in that summer camp. We also learned how blessed we were to have the privileged lives we had. When other girls didn’t. I thanked my parents for making me go there.

We decided to go back next year.

And as for college, I couldn’t ask for a better roommate. I was glad I said the truth. No matter how hard it was.