What Did I Get Myself Into?

   What Did I Get Myself Into?

Suzanne Marsh

Sue

Time has a way of erasing memories both good and bad. My memories of my first date with my husband Earl is a very special memory that neither of us will ever forget. It began when I met Earl’s sister at work. She told me: “boy have I got a Brother for you!” I replied I didn’t need a brother. I didn’t I was going through a nasty divorce, and my Dad had told me in no uncertain terms; “to keep my nose clean until the divorce was final.” Sometimes things really are easier said than done, that was the case here. One snowy, cold day in January I met the brother after receiving a dinner invitation. I can still see him as he stood up while his sister introduced us. Dad’s advise went right out the window. That night Earl asked me to go out on a date. He lived on a farm, but at the time did not have a car, so I was going to drive. I asked him what I should wear, his reply was jeans and sweater.

I waited patiently for Saturday. I drove to the farm, coming from Buffalo, New York to Albion, New York is about an hour to an hour and forty five minutes as the crow flies. The roads were clear, which was a good thing. I arrived at the farm, I walked into the barn. I waved at Earl who motioned me to leave the barn! I must have had a rather puzzled look on my face until I saw why...a giant grain rat. Earl and the other milker were attempting to get the rat out of the barn. I did not need a second invitation. I sat in the car waiting. Earl was running late. I took him back to his house on Lake Ontario. He smelled like cows and Clorox. I came to the conclusion that COWS STINK. He motioned for me to have a seat. I heard water running. Once he was dressed he returned. We got into my Ford Pinto he told me to head for Batavia. I was not happy about driving after dark...I have night blindness. At times it is like what road? I didn’t tell him that however.

We went to a Pizza Parlor. I almost missed it as he said: “pull up there to the side entrance. I slammed on the brakes. Turned into the side parking lot. He got out, opened my door. Hey this was great. He opened the door for me and we walked in. We sat down at a nice table with a view of the main street. The waitress arrived several moments later, with the menus. We order drinks and a large cheese pizza. So far so good. I was nervous, that is never a good thing; I tend to be a real clutz at times. The drinks arrived, I ordered a large Fanta Orange: Pepsi was his choice. I had been a nervous wreck all day. From when I had gotten up stumbled to the breakfast table. Made breakfast for Dad and I. I burned the eggs and incinerated the bacon. Poor Pop, was wondering what was happening. I told him I was going to visit a friend in Albion and return the following day.

Earl and I sat talking, when I am making a point; I talk with my hands and mouth going at the same time. Sure enough, Calamity Sue struck. I knocked over the orange pop. Earl jumped as the ice and pop flew into his lap. His blue eyes were laughing...I wanted to crawl under the table. The waitress came at a fast walk with paper napkins to help clean up the mess, as a river of orange trickled down the table onto the floor. She returned with a new glass of orange in soda; with a lid and straw. I wondered what he was thinking.

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Earl

Earl told his friend that his sister was playing match maker. He was not excited about a dinner date his sister had arranged. He envisioned that this woman was no doubt someone that he would have nothing in common with. His sister had told him she had three children and was going through a divorce. That he could empathize with; he had gone through one four years earlier. His sister Cathy was never happy unless she was playing match maker. His friend told him:

“Earl, you sure you want to meet this chick, she is in her thirties man, you’re what twenty three?”

Earl thought about it, he could picture her: gray hair beginning to appear, heavy set. Oh well he would reserve judgment until he met the old war horse. The rest of the week dragged on between milking cows, feeding them. Finally Saturday night arrived. He had instructed her to meet him at the barn. He waited, then she walked in. His milking team mate poked him in the ribs as they closede in on a large gray grain rat. She just stood there watching this comedy. He didn’t have time to explain why she needed to leave the barn. He didn’t think it was appropriate for her see them killing the rat. He ran out of the milking barn:

“Would you mind stepping out of here for few minutes.”

“Are you Earl?”

“Yes, are you Sue?”

“Yes.”

She turned to leave the milking parlor as he returned to chase the rat. His milking team mate watched as Earl got back into the milking parlor:

“Hey, are you sure she has three kids?”

“That’s what my sister told me. She looks more like she is twenty outside most twenty two.”

They finally killed the rat and then resumed milking. Once they were done, he sought her out. She had been sitting in her Ford Pinto Station wagon.

“I am sorry it took so long, if you pull out of the driveway go down to the first road and make

a right go down a mile, my house is on the left.”

“No problem.”

Yes problem she thought to herself, it is already dark, I hope my night blindness is not going to be an issue. He really is handsome and polite. He smiled at her as she drove. She was pretty, with long dark brown hair and green eyes. He couldn’t stand it any longer:

“Cathy informed me that you have three children.”

“Yes, I do I have three daughters.”

That had his attention; he didn’t have children but at least she had been honest.

“That white house is where I live.”

She slammed the brakes on: pulling into the drive way. He thought; ‘oh man she is a terrible driver.’

He opened the door inviting her in. He asked her to sit down, while he got ready. He knew he smelled like cows and Clorox. Somehow this date seemed surreal. He returned a half hour later fresh and clean:

“I thought we could go get a pizza and then go to a movie.”

“That sounds nice..”

“Do you know how to get to Batavia.”

“I lived in Barre. I used to go to Batavia all the time.”

“How did you meet my sister Cathy?”

“I worked in Bergen with her this past summer.”

“Oh, I see.”

She backed out of the driveway, hoping she wouldn’t hit anything. She began to head for Batavia. She drove with a lead foot or so he thought.

“The pizza place is coming up. Two more blocks, you may need to change lanes.”

“Okay, just let me know when we are a little closer.”

Earl at this point was trying to find the brake on the passenger side, of course there was none but it made him feel better. His hand had a death grip on the passenger arm rest. She saw a pizza place, assuming it was the one he wanted to go to. She slammed on the brakes as he pointed to the side parking lot. His curiosity arose as he thought; ‘I wonder where she learned to drive?’

She quickly parked the car in a space where she could pull through and back out. He was out of the car before she could turn it off. He walked around and opened the car door. He hoped that the rest of this date would go smoothly. He opened the pizza parlor door for her and they walked in.

They were given a table and the waitress brought menus.

“I would like a large Fanta Orange.” She said sweetly.

“I would a large Pepsi and a large cheese pizza.”

The waitress returned with the drinks several minutes later. Earl began:

“How long did you live in Barre?”

“About three years, we lived on Delano Road.”

“My Dad, picked up milk there when I was a boy.”

“That is the Delano farm.”

“Yes it was.”

The conversation was interrupted by the returning waitress:

“Your pizza will be ready in about ten minutes.”

“Thank you.”

She placed the drinks on the table, as they resumed their conversation.

“Was your Dad a truck driver?”

“Yes, what does your Dad do?

“He is a Tool and Die Maker.”

Earl watched, his eyes widening as an ocean of orange soda began surging his way. He jumped but not before he had a lap full of orange soda. The waitress came at a run, napkins in hand. Earl stood up with his jean dripping orange all over the floor. The waitress eyed the woman sitting there, she looked as if she wanted to crawl under the table and flee out the door.

Earl, smiled at her:

“It’s okay, let’s eat, then go to the movies.

She was mortified:

“how can you possibly want to go to a movie your jeans will freeze out there.”

“I’ll be fine.”

I took her to the movies, where I got her some popcorn. She stumbled trying to get to the seat, popcorn went sailing all over the second and third isles. I watched 9 to 5 with Dolly Parton. Once the movie was over she drove back to my sister’s house. He slept on the couch when he visited. She was in a room upstairs. That night as he laid on the couch he thought: ‘what have I gotten myself into? She is a real clutz.’

Earl had the nerve to marry me that was thirty nine years ago.