Unraveling

Marco: I’ve been thinking about something.

Marina: Yeah, what?

Marco: We don’t really talk much.

Marina: What do you mean? We’re talking right now. We see each other everyday.

Marco: I know that. I mean we don’t really talk. “How was your day, honey?” “Good.” That’s not talking.

Marina: Ok. Well, what do you want to talk about then?

Marco: Do you like me?

Marina: *Laughs* Of course I do. I wouldn’t have married you if I didn’t even like you.

Marco: Lots of people get married even though they don’t like each other.

Marina: Well, it’s good we’re not one of them then.

Marco: Do you think I’m interesting?

Marina: Of course I do.

Marco: Ok. What’s interesting about me?

Marina. Um…I don’t know. I like it when you talk to me about new technology. Those new bots you were talking about last night were pretty interesting.

Marco: Yeah, the bots are interesting. Am I interesting?

Marina: *Sighs* Yes, of course, honey. 

Marco: Ok, well what’s interesting?

Marina: Why are you starting a fight with me?

Marco: I’m not! I just want to know why you like me, love me, come home to me if we’re just going to be sitting together- alone on our phones, ignoring each other and don’t do much beyond that!

Marina: Well, what, you think we don’t have enough sex? Is that it?

Marco: No, baby! I want to know if there’s anything between us!

Marina: What, like, am I cheating on you?

Marco: NO! I mean…are we going to spend the rest of our lives like this? There’s no spark here. There’s no passion, we don’t have fun, we don’t do anything. We don’t even really talk.

Marina: Are you saying I’m boring? Don’t you enjoy our movie nights? I thought we were having a good time. I’m happy.

Marco: Are you? With me? What if it were someone else?

Marina: What the fuck are you talking about?

Marco: Do you enjoy watching the movies with me?

Marina: YES.

Marco: No. Do you enjoy watching them with me?

Marina: I-ehm. What?

Marco: Could I be just anyone? Are we together just because we’re scared of being alone? Do you feel warmth and joy thinking of me? Do you feel at home when we wake up together? Do you work, cook, clean and consider me, not out of obligation, but because you genuinely enjoy doing those things for the person you love?

Marina: Of course I do! What the fuck is wrong with you?

Marco: …You’re not understanding me.

Marina: No, you’re not understanding me. Do you want me to say something that’ll hurt your feelings?  Why the fuck would I wash your shitty fucking underwear or clean your beard clippings out of the sink if I didn’t love you? Don’t you appreciate that?

Marco: Of course I do!

Marina: Ok, well I’m fucking tired! I just want to relax when I get home, but do I get to? If I don’t do the laundry, cook dinner, dust, mop, clean the goddamn bathroom it doesn’t get done at all!

Marco: Well, just tell me what I can do to help!

Marina: I shouldn’t have to tell you. Can you not see the dishes in the sink or the skidmarks in the fucking toilet!?

Marco: What does this have to do with our relationship?

Marina: Are you fucking kidding me? I spend my whole day cleaning up after people! Customers treat me like shit, but I still have to be nice to them or I’ll get fired. They treat me like a maid, just so I can come home and still get treated like a maid! I have to talk to people all goddamn day! I just want to be alone when I come home. I’m so sick of talking.

Marco: Ok, well, I’m sorry honey. I’ll clean up more then.

Marina: You say that any time I talk about this then never do it.

Marco: What are you talking about? I did the dishes after dinner yesterday.

Marina: Oh my god, THANK YOU HONEY. Thank you for doing them once yesterday out of all the meals that we eat together! I’ve been doing them for years, everyday, several times a day! Thank you for doing it like once every 3 months, that really helps!

Marco: What the fuck is your problem? I can’t read your mind, if you want me to do them then just ask me!

Marina: So what is it then? Am I nagging if I ask you or am I communicating my needs?

Marco: What?

Marina: If I ask then I’m nagging, but if I don’t ask then I suck at communicating. Well maybe if you did it the first time I ask or just, gee I don’t know, use your fucking eyes, I wouldn’t have to nag. If I have to nag, then that means you heard me say the same thing like a million times and still haven’t done it!

Marco: Ok, I’m sorry! I’m the worst fucking husband. I’m such a piece of shit slob that my own wife doesn’t even want to talk to me or go out with me or do any-fucking-thing with me. Is that what you want to hear?

Marina: Oh, shut up. You know that’s not what I meant.

Marco: Do you hate me?

Marina: Sometimes…I feel more like your mother than your wife. I want to have excitement in our lives again. Like it used to be. Sometimes I wonder what happened to that.

Marco: I’m tired.

Marina: Me too.

Marco: I think we should go on date nights more.

Marina: With what money? 

Marco: I don’t know. I’m sorry.

Marina: For what?

Marco: I don’t make enough money for us. I’m a failure.

Marina: What? No you’re not. Life is just too fucking expensive. I know you work hard. It’s why I feel so guilty asking for your help.

Marco: Well, you work hard too.

Marina: I know. 

Marco: I work and work and work and it doesn’t mean shit. It doesn’t even matter how hard I work. I’m still as broke as I was yesterday, and last year, and five fucking years ago.

Marina: I know. Me too. I regret going to school. It didn’t even matter. I still work in a shop. I have a kid’s job. It’s so humiliating.

Marco: Any job is a good job. 

Marina: Yeah, but I don’t want just a job. I’m such a loser.

Marco: Me too.

Marina: How come you never talk to me about it?

Marco: *Laughs bitterly* I thought you didn’t want to talk. It’s never a good time.

Marina: Yeah, that’s true. So. You might as well say it anyway.

Marco: Remember our trip to California? 

Marina: Yeah, why?

Marco: I never felt more alive. No work, not thinking about bills. It was just you, me and the beach. I didn’t want to come back.

Marina: Neither did I. Maybe we’d be happier if we didn’t.

Marco: Maybe. Sometimes I think about just leaving everything behind. Go live in a commune or something where everyone’s work actually pays off. Where everyone cares about each other.

Marina: Sounds like a good way to accidentally join a cult.

Marco: *Laughs* Sounds like a fair trade.

Marina: I love you.

Marco: I love you too.

Marina: I wish we could leave it all behind too.

Marco: Why don’t we?

Marina: It’s just not realistic.

Marco: Yeah, I know. But it’s something to look forward to.

Marina: Hey, honey?

Marco: What?

Marina: This felt good. We should talk more. Maybe go on dates.

Marco: What about money?

Marina: Eh, fuck it. We’re broke anyway. Might as well enjoy each other’s company.

Marco & Marina: *Laughs*

Marco: I’m going to get us back to California.

Marina: I know. I’m going to get us back there too.

Marco: I don’t want to come back this time.

Marina: Neither do I. But. What if we just end up sad in California together?

Marco: Then we’ll move to Florida.

Marco & Marina: *Laughs*

Marina: I love you.

Marco: I love you too.