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Fiction

Chapter One

Gwen, you’re running out of time is 7:30 already, what re u doing?” dad called on Gwen who was having a hard time deciding whether or not she was going to attend kin luck high school. It was really a mind blowing tale. Relocating to this up land town was really a bad choice. She had to leave her formal school and here she was thinking of how to face those whiz kids in high school. “Gwen darling, u had gotten b snappy. Am also good damn late for won pleasee honey”

“Yeah dad. Am coming down right now’ Gwen rushed making her penny tail hair wore her classes, carried her’ school bag and ran down. No doubt Gwen was a charm, a real one, a real one base on two facts that she doesn’t apply any make –up. She was a glowering flower, a natural beauty, nature’s darling and a kept to her dad.

“Here am I dad, sorry for coming up late.”

“Is ok darling I understand this is your first day in college and you really need to b on time.

I know mommy is happy also” dad played with her chaise and on the grave, Gwen cried badly on that faithful day. It was a day she never tried to remove, come let go

*    *    *   

 Gwen wad amazed, only the building of the school was making her freak and intimiolated. Not two talks of the students, they were so astonishing. The school was known to be the number one in the state and beyond.

Gwen walked up to ss1a and there was a female teacher teaching already and immediately all eyes, were on her, Gwen walked quietly to her seat and she sensed that they were laughing. Why were they laughing? What teasing them? She couldn’t at all figures out the source of the comedy not until a blond hair girl pointed at her skirt then it dawn the on Gwen, that her long skirt was actually the center of amusement she latter realized that she was the only one putting on such outfit. “Gwen what had come over you? ‘Have you forgotten the school you are in?” the loud inner voice echoed her head. Gwen wanted to weep; she always or maybe sometimes wanted to act like the other girls, but her dad, her denomination, her conscience and God. She really can’t go against all of this she kept everything behind and focused.

When Gwen looked up she got two know that the flashy lady was nowhere to be found and immediately she heard the bell, “that is for lunch guess” one of the girl said. She was putting on a red lipstick, a jean mini skirt, white sleeveless top and a sky blue jean jacket, a black shoe and her hair was just loosed pouring down her shoulder. She took her gang outside why others make some funny jokes with some guys.

“This is hell!” Gwen exclaimed within herself she was in for it, there is no going back is either she face it or do otherwise.

“Gwen listen you didn’t come here for fashion parade neither did you come for beauty contest you came to lean. Honey don’t allow all what you come mow to spoil your mind, I love you honey your mum loves you also but God loves you more’

She remembered this word of her dad and smiled.

Chapter Two

Darling how was school yesterday, did you make new friends?” dad asked feeling excited and prepared to hear the latest story’

“Am sorry dad, but it was all bull shit”

“Baby it will be hard at first but… “I know dad, but that school is Hell! Hell! Hell!

“An sorry baby, you’ll soon adapt to the changes around I promise you”

Dad kissed her and parted her gently. Really Gwen missed her mum.

“You got to go now. Try to concentrate honey. Don’t look at anyone”

“Yes dad bye?

*    *    *  

Gwen went to all the classes she was supposed to attend and the science practical’s also. It was fun today was really going pretty fast

The bell went to lunch and she never failed to check on the cafeteria. She was there for sometime before she rushed to the rest room. And immediately she entered the girl’s quarter.

“Oh my! Not again”

She couldn’t believe what saw on the mirror. Gwen hair was pulling, it was going off, and her eye lashes went also part of it. She wanted to cry it has been few months since she went for medications and here was it, cancer coming back to play. It was a treenail thinking all of this .what her dad went through thinking she was going to die. Gwen cried and cried

She rushed out quietly and accidently got caught with a guy.

“Am so sorry” Jumi said. He was a guy in ss3b,

Gwen was speechless here was a guy extremely handsome, a girl’s guy, a dream he was having this charming looks and a sexy lips, she was actually tall and Gwen found herself falling in love for the first time.

“There is no problem and cause Gwen finally replied.

“You were crying. What’s wrong?

“Nothing” she tried to walk away but Jumi held her back.

“You can’t leave without telling me your name right? He said still looking deep into her eyes.

“Am Gwen” with that she ran out.

Latter then a scholarship exam where issued in school for some persons and Gwen was part of it. It was a big one, the life of her family. She was also happy and sad.

“We aren’t going to waste much of time so within the weekend prepare to receive a letter from us.” One of the invigilators had announced.

With that Gwen went home feeling both happy and sad.

Chapter three

Gwen please let go and see the doctor, l can’t bear this anymore baby I don’t want you to die, baby please, you are all l have got” dad cried like a baby.

 “Daddy I know but it need to give me sometime l beg you please daddy,

The door bell rang and Gwen wants to the door and was shocked to who was in front of him. Jumi

“Jumi what...”

“Will you let me in or l should stand here you interview me?”

“Yeah come in”

My gush, today cling him on this special clothing was breath taking

“Dad meet a friend of mine in school” as she introduced him.

 Dad cleaned his eyed quickly. “You are welcome clear. How did you meet my silly Gwen?” “Dad!’

Jumi told him everything.

“And actually I carried to return her hair band and pin”

Later Gwen comes to realize that she left it in the rest room,

“That’s nice of you. You know sometime my Gwen can be so forgetful”

“Daddy is not fair”

Immediately the post man was seen.

“Dad I have got to check on this” she rushed but, straight to the mail box and Jumi following behind.

“Don’t injure yourself pls” Jumi said.

Quickly Gwen devoir the letter and went through it. Her moutre dropped

Kin lucky high school

We are pleased to inform you that you passed the scholarship exam and asked to be present at the school on Sunday”

Gwen didn’t go thought the rest she jumped up and hugged Jumi, Jumi never failed to reiterate. He even stole a kiss this made Gwen freeze.

“I love you Gwen I don’t know how to say what I have in mind but I really do love you right form when I saw you, I never wanted to mingle with those crazy girls o want to be with you. Don’t take me to be one of those stupid guys. Am not, baby to be frank am madly in love with you. Gwen was just standing and staring at him, what is love? What’s it, God kind of love or man’s kind of love? She was motionless but only what she could think of what the passionate kiss. She had never been kissed like that before and dad was washing from inside. He was just washing.

“Am sorry but…”

“Please, Gwen if you have to say something stupid I might not survive it this night. Did you know how l came to know your home, is a ministry baby pls. Jumi was already in tears and surprise Gwen wept also

“I love you to dear” Jumi was hap and he never hesitate to kiss her again.

“Bye dear. Tell your dad am gone”

Gwen walked slowly into to house and found her dad looking straight at her. She handed the paper to him and walk to her room.

Gwen reported to the school on Sunday and everything was scheduled for her including financial support it was really a whole lot of money.

Jumi and Gwen became tight and most closet friend, they did almost everything gather & most of the girls were jealous. Jumi like playing love to her even on the road. It was a true love come through. This was actually her wish when she was 17.

Chapter four

Jumi and Gwen were in her room when it happened, it had not yet dawn on her that she hasn’t gone for her test and medications. Dad had begged Gwen severe but Gwen was just not ready for the pains cancer always come without but now the pains where becoming to unbearable and yet she didn’t tell Jumi what actually was wrong with her “can I hug u” Gwen asked and Jumi hugged and kissed her, moving his hands all over her hair, it was as of Gwen was in paradise but the pains could not be.

“Am sorry dear I really need to go” Gwen said.

“Why baby pleasestay for sometime”

“No dear, I need to prepare something for my dad, then I have to go for rehearsals also”

“Alright dear but’ are you ok”

“Yeah I am just tired”

“No please, I‘ll tale a cab form here, l love you bye”

She went off. Jumi was sensing danger. Gwen wasn’t funny. She has been behaving kind of not normal. Jumi switch the imagination away.

*    *    *  

Gwen rushed to her dad. Daddy please can we go to the hospital now”

“Oh my baby.”

“I know dad am sorry. I need to tell you something. In case I didn’t make it during the operation. Daddy I want you to give my scholarship award to Jumi and the money to aunty rosemary’s motherless children, daddy please am so sorry, I don’t know if I’ll come out alive but I pray I should. But if I don’t, dad o want you to be strong, don’t cry much, take care of yourself and pick a wife when she gives birth take good care of her

Cried emotionally he hugged his Gwen tightly this wasn’t what he wanted, he prayed to God should her through.

 “Baby you want to leave me”

Dad took her to the hospital and the Dr was there,

“Hi Gwen, is you turn now”

Tears filled dad’s eyes as he watched his Gwen go into the operation room.

“Pray for me dad”

That was her last words.

Dad waited outside for over 10 hours, the nurse & Dr, were only going out and coming in finally the Dr rushed out

“Mr. David we need blood”

“I can offer Dr. please do take mine”

Mr. David was issued into another operation room and his blood was checked unfortunately didn’t match with that of Gwen.

“Am sorry Mr. David you’re not the capable doner….”

“What are you trying to say that I can’t offer my daughter what she need?”

“No” the Dr. explained carefully and Mr. David was really frustrated.

Meanwhile all this were going on. All the payment to the motherless pebbles has been done before Gwen went to the operation. And Mrs. Rosy knowing the situation of Gwen went to the press to announce that a HERRO is dying. She never failed all what Gwen did for the motherless babies and soon Gwen news was heard all over the world that right now she needs a capable doner if not she will die.

Jumi heart this on CNN & and wondered if this was his same Gwen he know. He called her line quickly but it didn’t was not going. Jumi become crazy and he jumped out of the room “what’s the matter” his parents asked.

He rushed straight to the hospital and saw everywhere crowded just because of Gwen and with the press around, Jumi spotted Mr. David,

“Where’s the Dr.?”

He was handed to the Dr with tears pouring down his chick; he was checked on and was later found capable. The amount of blood was talked and they waited of the Dr as he went back to the operating room till the next morning, finally the Dr Came out with a half smile

“Your GWEN IS DEAD”

Dad cried, Jumi cried, it was a great lost. This wasn’t how Jumi wanted his love life to end, Jumi cried and no amount of pleading would stop him. He had wanted to settle down with Gwen, but Gwen never told him all of this. Dad cried bitterly and Jumi concluded not to have another lover

The burial was done and Gwen was never for gotten.

The End

October 09, 2020 06:50

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3 comments

Wei Hello!
23:36 Oct 14, 2020

Hello! I’m also here for the critique circle! Some things that could be improved would be: I’m not sure whether or not English is your first language, but I would suggest reading some books to see how dialogue is used. Second, I would suggest not using abbreviations such as ‘pls’ in short stories, as it gives the air of a lazy writer. Overall, this story has an interesting plot, but perhaps you should try working on your grammar first then your story structure.

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Ari .
22:40 Oct 14, 2020

Unlike novels, short stories don’t typically have chapters. I think you had a decent grasp on when to separate parts of the story, so just keep that in mind in the future. English is a tough language, so if you’re having a hard time with grammar I recommend you plug your works into Grammarly before you look it over. For sentence structure, Hemingway is the tool to use. Hope this helps!

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Wei Hello!
23:39 Oct 14, 2020

Ah hello Ari! I see you’re also here for the critique circle! As for your critique on this story, I would also agree with your points.

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