Sub/Urban Bebop

       “And our next guest is one I’m sure you’ve all heard of, though if anyone hasn’t heard of him, come talk to me after the show so you can give me the address of the rock you’ve been living under!”

            “You said it Jim!”

            “Thanks for the input random audience member! But without further ado, let’s welcome the New York Times Best-selling author for the past five years! And between you and me, rightfully deserved. Give it up for Romeo Risinger! Boy, I’ve never heard such loud clapping in my life! Mr. Risinger! It’s such a pleasure to have you on the show. The guests are going wild for you!”

            “Oh, the pleasure is all mine, Jim. Thanks for having me. I’ve been watching you since I was a kid, if you can believe it.”

            “I can’t be that old, can I? My wife says I look just like I did when we first met…though she hasn’t gone in for an eye exam in a couple decades or so.”

            “No, I mean it! I’d watch your show back when I was in elementary. Mainly on them Friday nights when, you know, school wasn’t the next day. My pop and I would always sit down on our dinky little couch right at eight o’ clock and watch ya! I distinctly remember watching you talk with that David Gilmour right after the success of Dark Side of the Moon! Pink Floyd’s always been a favorite of mine.”

            “Oh yeah! I rather enjoyed that interview, but speaking of favorites Romeo, talk to me about Sub/Urban Bebop. Number one on the New York Times best seller list for what, three months now? How’d you manage that one?”

            “I guess people have an interest in the life of a black boy trying to make his way in the world. Really speaks to people I guess.”

            “I guess so! People online have been raving about how real the main character feels, and the world you created around him. I saw one review where a person said he could almost feel that character’s presence in his room as he read it! Can you believe it?

            “I can! Is it you we’re talking about?”

            “Oh, unfortunately not. Audience…Risinger…I have something to confess. I haven’t actually read Sub/Urban Bebop quite yet. Yes, yes, gasp all you want. I truly am a fraud.”

            “Oh, I gathered that, Jim. Martin isn’t just a character in a book, he’s actually me. Sub/Urban Bebop is an autobiography. Why the gasps? The back of the book says it is. Don’t tell me you all thought Romeo was my real name, right? I’m laughing just thinking about that! Granted, Martin’s not my name either, but it’s a hell of a lot closer than Romeo. Do I look like a Shakespeare connoisseur?”

            “Oh! That would explain the realness I guess—”

            “I guess it would, Jim.”

            “Pardon my coughing, my asthmas been crazy lately. Janessa, my make-up lady—who really loves your book by the way—says the coughing has made hair and make-up a nightmare to get me all dolled up for these last few shows. Ahem, an autobiography then? What prompted you to start such a process like that? It’s not easy exposing your life for the whole world to look onto for entertainment in the reading medium, right?”

            “Well, I don’t think of it as entertainment if you can believe it. This show is entertainment, the audience looking at you and I like we’re in a fishtank is what entertainment is. But everything that led me to sitting here in this tank with you certainty wasn’t. I think of it more like an informative work to showcase what life outside of…well, pardon my language, but what white life is. People like to think the things I talk about in my book are just made-up for the sake of empathy, but that’s not the goal.”

            “Well surely there was some entertainment to be had, right? After all, you’re number one on the charts! There must be moments of joyous levity, constructed heartbreak that twists the readers hearts, and other aspects to draw in the readers attention, right? After all, again Romeo, you’re number one on the charts! And we don’t anticipate that changing anytime soon either, as you’re projected to stay up there through the holidays. Audience, who would want to get a hardcover copy of Sub/Urban Bebop as a gift? Well, if you stay tuned until after the interview, three lucky guests might just be able to claim one…if I remember.”

            “I’m grateful for my ranking on the top of the list, and of course, thankful for you all for getting me there, but I didn’t write this autobiography to be a stocking stuffer or to make my name known. If I wanted my name to be known, I would’ve used my real name instead of an alias of a pseudonym. I wanted to publish my story solely to show people the hardships that African Americans deal with in the shadows superimposed upon us. Our lives aren’t hidden, but the life around us finds a way to shove systematic racism into a corner and then turn a blind eye in one fell swoop. No one asks about racial hardships until it’s on all the news and across all social media platforms like Facebook or something—” 

            “Well…uh…of course we all know racism is still a thing, right? I mean, think about all the backlash we had back when Noble became president…not all of it was about his politics. But that being said, think about it! The first man of color to be our president, I think that’s a pretty big move! And speaking of Facebook Romeo, can we get a shoutout for all those Facebook moms who are keeping the hashtag ‘Care About Color’ alive for us! Talk about word of mouth, did you know that the hashtag has been shared, tagged, and all those other social media terms almost fifty million times? It’s rising to be one of the most popular hashtags on record. People are embracing it as something to fight for, and I think Noble was a big step in that direction.”

            “Well yes, Noble did allow his status to promote racial equality, and we all applaud him for it, but sharing a hashtag and just barely electing a president aren’t really pioneering instances to change the status quo Jim. One could say that both of your great points are, simply put, modes to ‘sweep things under the rug’ as it were. Hashtags are a nice gesture, but what’s being done to actually help? I’m sure your media team will share the hashtag on a post whenever they decide to market this episode, but that won’t help me too terribly much.”

            “Oh, would that be in poor taste? I thought it was all about getting the word out there, like you said earlier? The more people know about the tag, they’ll look into it, and then bam, awareness.”

            “Well yes, but my book isn’t a hashtag, it’s an informative piece. My book doesn’t say ‘hey, racism is still a thing and life is hard’, its provides real life instances to show that this all still exists. There’s a rhetorical term called ‘pathos’ which, very bare bones, is a way to categorize a piece of work that aims at a person’s emotions. That’s what I do in Sub/Urban Bebop, highlighting instances of my own life that can show people the hardships of me, and everyone else who has dealt with the same thing regardless of race. It also appeals to another term called ‘ethos’ but…you’re looking a little bored, Jim, so I won’t go into detail.”

            “Bored? No I’m just thinking about what you’re saying…and I agree wholeheartedly. It’s easy for people to only care about things once it’s all over their social media feeds. I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve all been, not just for you, but for everyone afflicted by this…what did you call it? ‘Systematic racism’, yeah. Here on the tonight show, we’re all about diversity and we want all of our viewers out there to know that that’s where we stand as a company.”

            “That is great, Jim, but I’ll be honest, I kind of just heard you talk about pretty much nothing just now.”

            “Ahem, well, let’s pivot back towards your book, yeah? We were planning on showing the audience a real time graph our team backstage was putting together to show us your book sales, so if you all want to take a look at the screen behind me—”

            “How about we skip the video, Jim. ‘But speaking of’ your backstage team, why don’t we bring your make-up lady out here. Janessa, right? There looks to be an extra seat on this couch, I’d love to bring her on the show.”

            “I don’t know if that’s entirely appropriate—”

            “Is that her? I mean she stands out like a shell on the beach. Hey Janessa! Would you mind sitting in on our interview? I think we could use an open mind over here.”

            “I mean…only if you want Janessa. Don’t feel like you have too—”

            “Yeah! Sure. I hope you don’t mind, but I have my copy of your book and, well, I was going to try and get it signed after the show but if I get to sit here next to you…”

            “Why of course! Hey Jim, got a pen? Oh, right here on your desk, don’t mind if I do. What’s your last name Janessa?

            “Hughes!”

            “Perfect, I’ll write you a little note in here and…done. Don’t read it just yet, okay?”

            “Um…okay, yeah sure.”

            “Well…it’s good to have you on the show Janessa. Your make-up is, naturally, perfect for the camera. What’s it like being in the spotlight for the first time?

            “Oh, I’m used to it actually; I perform in a lot of plays when I’m not here. You could say it’s kind’ve my passion, Jim.

            “Sorry to interject Jim, but may I ask how you got into that? I love theatre.”

            “Oh I know, it was in your book!”

            “Oh yes, an autobiography would highlight that wouldn’t it?”

            “Yes! But yeah, I’ve been doing theatre since I was a kid. I was the Wicked Witch once in elementary school, though I was actually supposed to play just some extra initially, but they thought I was too good I guess so I got a promotion, if you will.”

            “Darling, you more than look the part of Glinda more than the Wicked Witch.”

            “Oh stop it, you’ll make me blush! But anywho, since then I’ve been so enamored by playwriting and drama. I’m actually in a somewhat popular troupe called the ‘Penny Players’, a troupe based over in Pennsylvania, get it? It’s actually where I make most of my money, but don’t tell Jim that!”

            “Ha! Don’t worry about it Janessa, how could I not know that by now? You’ve been with us for years!”

            “Well, just under a year, actually.”

            “Do you like working here, Janessa? Jim is surely a great boss to have.”

            “I do! Everyone here is nice and friendly, I couldn’t ask for much more of an easier environment, you know, all things considered.”

            “All things considered?”

            “Well…there’s only so many brothers and sisters here, y’know? I mean Richard is the only one I ever see, but he’s kind of here to just clean the set once we all leave.”

            “Well that’s unfortunate. Hey Jim, maybe we should make it a little more diverse here, yeah?”

            “Oh, I don’t actually do the hiring around here—”

            “Anyways, do you have any other hobbies, Janessa? Besides your stellar theatre skills, of course.”

            “Well I love to play the piano and I hike when I can. When I was a kid, we didn’t really have much growing up until my grandaddy died and we inherited a piano from him. It took up a huge portion of our living room, and we actually used the bench as part of our dining room set because we didn’t have any other chairs. But my mama didn’t want anyone dirtying the piano, so we didn’t give it a double use like the bench, and pretty much anything else that came in the house. So when I taught myself to play piano, I did it all standing up. Did it all on my own two feet, as it were.”

            “That’s amazing! And yet, your composure is flawless.”

            “Oh stop it!”

            “Hey, we have a piano here, right? All late shows have a little band somewhere…there it is! Guitar, drums, saxophone—nice touch—and last but not least, a piano! Would you want to play a tune for our lovely audience?”

            “Oh honey I don’t know, that’s Simon’s personal piano that he keeps here. It doesn’t get much use since they started just playing the music over the speakers nowadays, but knowing Simon, he probably prefers it.”

            “I’m sure it’s fine. Would you mind, Jim?”

            “Well…I don’t know if we have much time for it? We have a little segment planned to test your book knowledge—”

            “Oh, I can answer that quickly. The only somewhat popular book I know anything about is The Secret Life of Bees, but I’m sure none of your questions address that art piece. So! That being said, I think we can cut in some time for Janessa, don’t you think?”

            “I guess we can. What does the audience say?”

            “They’re louder than they were when I got here! I think that means you’re about to be the star of the show.”

            “I guess so! Wow, I feel so nervous, but so excited at the same time. You ever felt like thar Mr. Risinger?”

            “Loads of times. The last time was…when did we go live tonight? Whatever time that was, I suppose. What song are you thinking of playing for us, darling?”

            “Well I know some tunes by James Brown, very fun ones at that! Sound to you?”

            “My goodness, I couldn’t ask for anything better! How much James Brown do you know, Jim?”

            “I can’t say I’m familiar with the name. What band is he part of ?”

            “Oh sweetie, James Brown is a one man act where we come from, ain’t that right Mr. Risinger?”

            “You said it darling.”

            “Well, looks like I’ll get started then!”

            “We’re all looking forward to it, right Jim?”

            “Yeah…you know what? I think we’re getting close to the end of our time, we’re not the ‘late late’ show after all.”

            “Well aren’t you a party foul! Janessa, go on and play, darling.”

            “Thanks for tuning in folks, I’d say we had a great night—”

            “What’re you doing Jim? We have a segment to do, still.”

            “Unfortunately we’re running real close to the end of our time slot. We only pay for so much time on the channel, you know?”

            “You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you?”

            “Say what?”

            “Say it Romeo! I’m thinking the same thing.”

            “Darling, you are one of a kind. Jim, are the cameras still rolling? Check, check, is this mic on? Audience, do you think Jim would let the show go on if Janessa was black? You, know, since the company supports diversity and all.”