Forbidden Fruit

As an apple, I had always wanted to be eaten. It was as much a part of me as my stem was. Or my peel. Or my core. You could say wanting to be eaten was in my blood, or whatever the apple version of blood was. Juice, I suppose. Wanting to be eaten was in my juice. 

I had been hanging for many days in the great wild garden that was my home, alone but by no means lonely, ripe and waiting to be plucked and devoured, when I heard two voices break through the surrounding foliage.

Here we go, I thought to myself. Showtime.

From the winding path ahead, two people appeared. One was a woman. The other, a man. Both were tall. Both looked lost. Both were extremely naked. 

“Are you sure you know where we’re going, Eve?” Leaning against the rippled bark of my oak tree neighbour, the man used his spare hand to wipe the sweat from his brow.

“Of course, I do,” the woman replied in a way that suggested she had said it many times that day already. She thrust an arm further down the path.

“Here, don’t suppose you have a snack, do you?” With little intention to continue, the man took a cross-legged seat in a strip of shade. “Perhaps a granola bar or something? I’m not used to all this hiking lark.” 

The scrunch of Eve’s face was an excellent indicator of what was going on behind it. “A snack, Adam? A snack?”

Adam nodded.

“Of course, I don’t have a snack! What on earth makes you think that I would have a snack? Where would I have gotten a snack from? And where would I be carrying said snack if I did have one?”

Adam looked to reply, a cheeky-verging-on-crass retort brimming in his cheeks, but reading the room-slash-garden, he must have decided against it. 

“Look, let’s just keep going and try to find some shelter and clothing. That’s a lot more urgent. Then we can worry about finding you something to munch on.”

Adam stood up. “Yes, as much as I like a bit of air down there, this is kind of a strange sequence of events for a first date, isn’t it?”

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…” Eve enforced with a pointing, jabbing finger. “Don’t you dare get the idea into your head that this is a first date. This is not a first date.” 

“Oh…” Bubble, burst. “Well, first day then? Anyway, what do you reckon about this snake?”

“Snake? Oh, Adam, you are very full of yourself, aren’t y–”

“No, Eve, there is literally a snake in front of you.”

Adam was not lying, for a literal snake had indeed literally unfurled itself from the heights of the tall oak. Its sharp stare fixed onto the pair.

“Good evening,” it hissed.

“Um…” Adam gawped. “Hello, Snake.”

“I overheard you saying that you're hungry?” The serpent’s tongue slithered through taut lips. “Well, I have just the thing.”

Adam’s face lit up. “You don’t have a granola bar, do you?”

“Of course, I don’t have a granola bar,” it snapped. “Where do you think I’d be holding it if I… no… now, if you look up you’ll see a delicious apple. The perfect snack to accompany such a handsome couple on a warm autumnal evening’s ramble. Nature’s granola bar, you could say.”

I suppose you could say that about me, I thought, but only if you wanted everyone to think you were a bit barmy.

“Would if we could, Snakey,” Adam said, trying to go for a friendly, maybe too friendly, tone of voice. “But we were told not to.”

“You were told not to? From whom?” 

“Can you remember their name, Eve? Think it began with a G? Was it Gog? Or Greg? Gordon, maybe? Anyway, this voice-person-thing said that we could eat anything in this garden we wanted, except from this one apple tree, which I’m guessing, as I haven’t seen any others around, must be this one?”

“Oh no, there are plenty of apple trees in Eden,” the snake insisted. It zipped around the branch and back again. “Whole orchards of them. And with that, enough apples to make ciders and smoothies and crumbles and pies and tarts and any other apple-based delight you desire.”

While Eve did not look like she had bought into this, Adam was pretty much already holding his receipt.

“Right, Eve, new plan. We pick as many apples as we can, starting with this one, and then we do everything that that snake just said, yes? Ooh, maybe we could set up a little farm shop-cum-cafe somewhere? With some nice benches outside? A few hay bales? A real rustic feel, you know? What do you reckon? I can tell from your scowl that you’re all for it. Perfect.” Arm outstretched, Adam lumbered towards me. Closer. Closer. Closer. This was it. It was finally happening. I was going to be picked!

“Hold your horses, Johnny Appleseed.” Eve knocked his arm off its trajectory. “You do remember what that person-voice-thing also told us, don’t you? About the…”

“Oh, about the death thing?”

Eve nodded. 

“What death thing?” the snake chuckled. It was a nervous chuckle. A chuckle to buy it a little time. “There’s no death thing.”

“That voice-person-thing told us that if we eat from that one tree, aka this tree, both of us will die,” said Eve. “I cannot express enough how unfond of Adam I am, truly I can’t, but I must admit, I wouldn’t want him to pop his clogs. Not yet, anyway.”

“Wow, thanks, Eve. That’s really nice of you to say.”

“Don’t get used to it.”

“But this apple is delectable!” the snake stated, swinging towards me. “Look how it glistens and gleams in the evening sun. Rumour has it that this apple is the sweetest and most refreshing apple in the world!”

“I must admit…” said Adam. “… that does sound tasty, but as Eve mentioned, we really shouldn’t. Anyway, I’m sure there are some berries or something safe to eat up ahead. Might be able to find a risk-free banana or two if we’re lucky.”

Adam skipped out of sight before the snake could retort. Eve went to follow.

“Wait!” The snake dived to block her path. “Seeing as you have a bit more sense about you than that human labrador, I’ll reason with you, okay? This apple isn’t the sweetest or most refreshing apple in the world.”

“Ha!” Eve looked triumphant. “I knew it!”

“But…” A pause. “… it does have magical powers.”

“Yes, like killing us if we eat it? Nice try.”

“Ah, poppycock to that. That’s what you were told because the voice-person-thing you met doesn’t want you to discover this apple’s true power, and with it… your own true power.”

Eve’s dismissive smile slipped into one of intrigue. “True power?”

The snake dipped its head towards her ear. “One bite of this apple will grant you anything you desire.”

Eve glanced to make sure that the now whistling Adam was well out of earshot.

“Anything I desire?” she whispered.

“Anything at all… ” smiled the snake. “ … money… a home… a warm bed… blankets… cushions… pillows… clothes…”

Eve paused for thought, an act really, for her mind was already made up. 

Before I had fully realised, she had ripped me from my branch and plunged her teeth into my flesh. 

The snake cackled. 

The sunny evening clouded over. 

Storms embarked onto the garden with ferocious haste. 

From a distance, Adam screamed a scream at least three octaves too high. 

None of this particularly bothered me, however. That was because I was an apple, and all I had ever really wanted was to be eaten.