Taking a chance on love.

Well, they say it may happen to anyone? You meet, you see something so outstanding you want to grab hold of it with both hands. Before it vanishes or its to late to go back. There is an element of the devil there something unpredictable. Diffrent from my dull teaching job catching the train to Hurlsmere at seven thirty am daily. There for eighty thirty on the dot.

Drowel morning watching pupils, writing on the black board, free marking period. Then getting the train back mid afternoon. Wife says "All fine love" then to my study my private space.

Glynis and I talk in monosymbles. Well we have been together since we were twenty one, a life time. I am fifty seven years of age. One of the good sorts stalwarts the expression,will not retire early.

I suppose describing my life is an excuse for my behaviour that day. One could say, male menopause wanting to feel young and free again. As if life would give one a second chance.

Arriving for the seven thirty train to Hurlsmere. I saw her radiant with long flowing locks across the platform. Wearing small white sandles, carrying petite bag in her small hand. To match the sandles and floral dress with a navy blazer. Dashing to the other side of the plate- form to get a better look at this angel, all thoughts of teaching gone. This was in my grasp. I felt young again frivalous , dare I bite into this apple?

Following her to the coffee kiosk on the station platform. longing to touch and feel those blond locks like silk thread. If I touched them would they break. Could I keep a wisp. Thoughts feeling of the unknown.

She turned quickly with her paper cup containing the brown liquid. Chance gone, I could have bought her the coffee. On her own she boarded the train to goodness knows where. I followed in a trance. Sitting a few seats away.

Feeling normal, looking no different same drab suit and stripped tie with tie clip. What would she think of me? She must be in her mid twenties. Was common sense and reasoning coming into place? It was not too late to get off the train. Phone the school say I had, had a slight mishap.

No, I was in to deep to retrace my steps . There had to be an outcome. The rain had started to form small puddles on the window pane. Maybe my day would not be so bright after all. Suddenly she got up from her seat ready to leave my perfect vision of woman hood.

In the crowd getting off the train. She did not know I excisted. As my pace quickened, to know what route she took every day. The perfect gentleman, building up communication slowly then plucking up the courage to buy her that coffee. Maybe it would lead to days out. Who knows. Forbidden fruit was it worth it all?

I felt like a dog with two tails. Not dreary old Mr Dexter, with whisky eyes like lined leather with those wrinkles. Oh yes, this old dog wanted to be taught new tricks. Yelping for joy, to risk everything familer.

Then it happend he came out of the shadows touching her arm , their eyes met. He could not be her brother? With that look . That charming youthful look, with beard and floppy fringe. Shiny eyes. Her look when she saw him. Something I will never forget. He guided her to a white car parked outside the station. Tense my eyes misted over. She would never be mine.

That being a gone conclusion. Getting back on the train to boring normality. My adventure over. Before it had really began. Or did it ever happen. Feeling a stupid fool. As my mobile rang. It was Glynis concerned that the school had phoned. Why had I not turned up for my science class. Mr Procter the head seemed really concerned.

That was Proctor with the perfect house family and wife in his thirties he had been promoted over me for head ship. Never liked the bloke, always felt the feeling was mutal, but unspoken. Another chance at the grindstone with my life ticking by. Sighing explaing to Glynis that I felt sick out of salts.

"You sure, you did not fancy life on the wild side a little adventure maybe". "No, love I am here to stay." What made her say that? Did Glynis read my thoughts. I must make it up to her same flowers from the station shop . Wine, would that be going to far. A second chance at domestic bliss?

"Tell Mr proctor, I will be in tomorrow eight thirty on the dot. A dose of flu med then off to bed thats me." Well, maybe fate had stopped me jumping through hoops. One could only dream, Of what may or may not have been. To have or to have not.

I would go one with my life as I had done before, routine with thirty seven years of marriage. Thinking of how Glynis and others would laugh if they had found out about my little escapade. An escape into the unknown that never happend. It would have been the staff room joke, for months on end. With Glynis stating to others she had to keep me on a tight leash. Not that I would be breakimg free again.

Not forgeting that happy go lucky young couple, how would they feel knowing that some old dog was following them. Embrassed no doubt. How would I have explained myself? It did not bare thinking about.

They may well have had the children Glynis and I could not have. At the most they could not have been more than twenty- six years of age if that. A misery breaking so many lives and for what, my male ego or the ticking of time.

Scolding myself would do no good? Keen to see where it would lead, my flirtation with the unknown was quick like a day dream. That must be kept secret without harming myself and others.