Gutter vs. the Universe

Gutter almost skipped out the door. Tonight was finally the night! Gutter had been thinking about this moment for 10 years at least, since that fateful morning in third grade when the universe had decided to seat him right next to Melissa on the first day of Mrs. Twellman’s class. He danced out to his old Corolla, with feet that barely seemed to touch the ground. The car was freshly washed, the sun was shining, Gutter’s T-shirt was freshly ironed and he had doused himself in cologne. Tonight was going to be perfect. He had planned every detail of this first date to the minute. If he was honest with himself, he had been planning this date for at least a year. It wasn’t until last Tuesday that he had gotten up the nerve to pull Melissa aside at Trevor’s house and awkwardly bumble through some pathetic speech about friendship and love and… Had he mentioned penguins in there somewhere? Oh God! What if Melissa just thought he was an idiot? What if she just said yes to the date because she felt sorry for him? What if?… Never mind, it was time to get a move on. Gutter took a nervous breath, turned the key and smoothly pulled away from the curb.

After the familiar seven minute drive to Melissa’s house with the sun slowly making its way towards the horizon, Gutter pulled up to the curb, slipped the transmission into Park and looked at his reflection in the rearview mirror. He flinched at the sight of the smooth, soft cheeks and round brown eyes, he didn’t see a cool college freshman looking back at him. Although Gutter had shot up 6 inches in the last 2 years and even though that had done wonders for making him look more mature, he still saw the same short, chubby kid in the mirror. Gutter had started to look at least like a passable high school sophomore sometime in the months leading up to high school graduation, but he still didn’t feel much different. He sighed heavily. Somehow, the buoyant jubilation that had carried Gutter out to the car on a cloud a few short minutes ago had deflated, in its place was a hot bundle of sharp nerves that made him feel like his stomach had recently become home to a family of young, feverish porcupines. Gutter checked his watch, noticed it was 6:02 and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. He pulled the door handle, stepped out of the Corolla and started up the sidewalk, trying to contort his face into a self-assured smile.

The doorbell chimed and Gutter felt his stomach tighten. This was really happening. He shuffled his feet, checked his watch again and smoothed the front of his newest Star Wars T-shirt. Gutter had rung this doorbell so many times and it had never made him feel nervous before. He was beginning to think this was a bad idea. Maybe he could just stay best friends with Melissa forever. Why did he think it was a good idea to date her? What if it didn’t work out? What if he threw up all over…

The door handle finally rattled and the door pulled open.

“Hi John”, Melissa’s mom stepped back to make room. “Come in, come in.” Since about 6^th grade when there were 3 Johns on his soccer team and his coach had started calling him by his last name, Gutierrez, then later just Gutter, no one really called him John except his own parents, and Mrs. Moreno.

“Hi, Mrs. Moreno” Gutter stammered nervously as he shuffled inside. Mrs. Moreno was smiling from ear to ear in a way that made Gutter very self-conscious.

He saw Mr. Moreno in the open dining room seated behind a half-constructed, comically large sandwich that looked like it was straight out of a Scooby Doo cartoon. Mr. Moreno looked up from his sandwich with a knowing smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

“Hey Gutter”, Mr. Moreno offered. Gutter returned the greeting with a little dip of his head. Mr. Moreno dipped his head slightly in return, then turned his attention back to his gargantuan grinder.

Gutter stood awkwardly in the living room that he had been in a hundred times before, feeling like he was some kind of intruder. Maybe this was a bad idea, he thought. He had never felt awkward here before. What does that mean?

Mercifully, just then, Melissa raced into the room, trailing a canvas purse and one shoe in her hand and all the fidgety porcupines that had taken up residence in Gutter’s belly evaporated. A wide, genuine grin traced itself onto his face as he watched Melissa, his best friend, bustle around the room collecting her keys, phone, her black, reusable water bottle and lip gloss like some kind of chaotic whirling dervish. Each disappeared into her oversized tie-dyed canvas purse and finally, she saw Gutter and time seemed to stop. Immediately a brilliant, beaming smile lit up her face. Her curly dark-brown hair was still bouncing around her smooth, perfect cheeks and the light from the LED-lit chandelier in the living room danced magically in her eyes. They made eye contact for a brief moment and Gutter’s heart leaped at the familiar jolt this caused in his belly. Tonight was going to be perfect.

Melissa scurried over to Gutter’s side. “Ready?” she asked.

Gutter swallowed. “Ready.”

“Bye Mom, Bye Dad!” Melissa exclaimed over her shoulder, grabbing his hand and leading Gutter to the door. A soft throat clear came from the dining room. Melissa released his hand and skipped into the dining room to deliver a quick side hug as he shoved his masterpiece of a sandwich into his mouth. She dashed back over, grabbing Gutter by the hand and practically yanked him out the door.

Over his shoulder, Gutter heard “Don’t stay out too late!”

“We won’t!” Gutter shouted back. Through his jubilant laughter, he barely managed to call out “Bye Mr. and Mrs. Moreno” just before Melissa pulled the door closed. The pair gleefully ran to the car, Gutter pulled open the passenger door and bowed deeply sweeping his arm toward the car door.

“M’lady”.

“Oh, thank you, kind sir!” Melissa replied as she stepped daintily into the freshly cleaned car.

As Gutter rounded the front of the car to join her, he thought again: Tonight was going to be perfect.  Gutter slid into the driver’s side, turned the engine and pulled away smoothly.

“So, where exactly will you be taking this lady this evening, good sir?” Melissa asked with a mischievous smile from the passenger seat.

“Wouldn’t the lady love to know?” Gutter answered with a sly grin. Gutter chuckled to himself, thinking of the composition notebook that he had filled with date ideas, ridiculous poems and declarations of love and silly drawings all for one special girl. On one of the last pages, he had detailed a perfect date night with Melissa down to the minute: Bowling and Nachos at Pinewood Lanes, followed by a fancy Italian dinner at Giovanni’s downtown. Then they could go out to their favorite outdoor ice cream place, Sweet Caroline’s. As he eased the car onto the highway, he heard Steve Perry starting to sing the first line of “Don’t Stop Believing”, from his “Melissa” playlist on his phone. He turned the knob until the song filled the cab he smiled over at Melissa and joined Steve in belting out the first verse at full volume. By the time he reached highway speeds, the pair of them were singing at the top of their lungs at the warm night air.  Tonight was going to be perfect.

Kathunk, kathunk, kathunk. The sound was coming from underneath the car. Gutter immediately knew what that sound meant and he pulled the car to the shoulder. Melissa was looking at him with a hint of panic. He smiled reassuringly and told her “It’s just a flat, we’ll be alright. I’ve done this before.”

He clicked on the flashers and popped the trunk. Gutter could see immediately that the rear driver’s side tire was flat. Just as he ducked his head into the trunk to start to fish out his spare tire and jack, he noticed the glow of headlights coming from behind him. He glanced back over his shoulder to make sure he was far enough off the road. He was fine, so he turned his attention back to lifting out the cardboard cover. Just as he pulled out the jack and set it on the ground behind him, he noticed the headlights were slowing. He straightened and stared at the oncoming car. It slowed nearly to a stop and pulled in behind him on the shoulder. The driver stepped out, Gutter lifted his arm to shield his eyes from the headlights, he couldn’t see the guy’s face.

“Hey!” Gutter greeted in his best friendly tone.

“You broke down?”, the man called back.

“Yeah, got a flat, but I got a spare. I’m good.” Gutter replied, in his most competent, reassuring voice.

The man approached, Gutter could see now the guy was blonde and tall, a little older than him, but he was probably still only in his early twenties. The guy didn’t look like a mechanic, with his backwards cap, black T-shirt and baggy shorts.

“Oh shoot man, mind if I take a look?” The man approached and started to bend over to examine the tire.

Gutter started to feel a little uneasy. Something was wrong. He couldn’t tell what was wrong yet, but the whole situation just felt off.

“Nah man, I got it” Gutter was descending into panic now. He was trying to telepathically communicate to Melissa to stay in the car. Stay in the car… Stay in the car…

A car door opened, Gutter’s heart sank as he heard Melissa, “Gutter? Is everything okay?”

“Ya Melissa, it’s fine. This guy just stopped to see if we need help. Get back in the car.”

A new voice came out of the darkness beyond the passenger side of the car. “Stay right there.” This was a female voice that Gutter didn’t recognize. As he squinted into the darkness, the man spun around and Gutter could make out a glint of metal in his hand. A knife? A gun? Gutter couldn’t tell at first, but he quickly realized it was a long military looking knife.

“Your wallets. Hand them over!” The man ordered in a stern but quiet voice.

Gutter’s eyes widened and he immediately turned his head to look for Melissa. He could see her staring back at him, her eyes wide and a perplexed look on her face. He could clearly see the confusion in her eyes in the glow of the headlights.

“Let’s go, hurry up!” The female voice called out again and a figure emerged out of the darkness, a young woman with an oversized flannel shirt and ripped jeans. Her hair was long and stringy and she held something like a blue soda can in her hand. Gutter couldn’t tell exactly what it was, but by the way she was holding it at Melissa’s face, he guessed it was some kind of pepper spray or mace.

“Okay, okay, whatever you want.” Gutter spoke slowly, surprised by how smooth and calm his own voice sounded. He slowly reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, holding it out towards the man.

“Mine’s in the car” Melissa whispered, her perplexed expression fully replaced by a look of sheer terror now.

“Get it”, the woman hissed. “And your phones too!”

Melissa was visibly trembling as she made her way back into the car and bent in. Gutter could hear her fumbling in her purse as he slowly reached into his front pocket and pulled out his iPhone with a SpiderMan case. He held it out with his wallet. Right as Melissa stood up out of the car, the man snatched both items from Gutter’s hand. The woman grabbed Melissa’s phone and wallet and then walked backwards toward the car, holding the pepper spray can outstretched towards Melissa the whole time.

Gutter hadn’t taken his eyes off of Melissa this whole time, he turned his head quickly toward the man, and saw a fist a split second before it connected with his nose. Everything went fuzzy for a moment and by the time his mind cleared, he could hear the stranger’s car doors slam shut. Gutter rushed around the car to Melissa’s side just as the car peeled out spitting gravel and dirt into the air as they fishtailed back onto the highway. Gutter caught a glimpse of the car and could tell it was an older model, maroon sedan, maybe a Crown Victoria? As he approached, Melissa let him wrap her up in his arms and he held her there. He could feel her body trembling in his arms as he buried his face in her curly hair.

“Are you okay?” Gutter whispered into her hair.

She didn’t answer. She just trembled and he thought he could hear faint sobs.

“Let me change the tire real quick, then let’s get out of here”

Gutter helped Melissa into the car. Melissa was careful to keep her face turned away from his. He gave her a quick squeeze, then gently pushed the door closed. He made his way back to the still open trunk. Gutter worked quickly, changing the tire as quickly as he could manage. Once he got the spare on, he threw the flat tire and jack unceremoniously into the trunk. He slammed the trunk and practically sprinted up to the driver’s side door, tire iron still in hand. In a moment they were driving again.

Gutter gripped the wheel tightly, the tire iron laying across his lap. The pair sat soundlessly, both staring straight ahead. Gutter could see Melissa’s body heave occasionally with silent sobs. Tonight WAS supposed to be perfect. Now it had turned into what might be the worst night of his life. He wasn’t aware of where he was going, he was just driving into the night.

“Can you take me home?” Melissa’s quiet voice was steady, but a tiny quavering breath after she spoke betrayed her panic.

Gutter realized he had been holding his breath. He forced himself to exhale and forced his hands to relax on the wheel.

“Ya, let’s go home.” Guttter said, resignation in his voice.

The pair drove in silence, each contemplating what had happened. Gutter wondered if this was the universe’s way of telling him he dreamed too big. Maybe he was wrong to ask Melissa out. The world was a cruel place and maybe he had flown too close to the sun and this was his metaphorical sun burn.

“You’re bleeding!” Melissa’s voice was no longer wavering.

Gutter reached up and felt his nose, he didn’t feel anything, but when he pulled down the visor mirror, he could see a smear of dried blood under his nose. He hadn’t even noticed his nose bleeding, but it evidently had bled. He shook his head and muttered under his breath. “Tonight was supposed to be perfect!”

Gutter pulled up to the curb in front of Melissa’s house, he put the car into park.

“I’m sorry.” Gutter’s voice sounded flat and foreign to him.

“Hey.” Melissa’s soft voice grabbed his attention and he found himself looking at her without meaning to. The look in her eyes was no longer haunted, the usual shine had started to return. Before he could stop himself, he felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

In a moment, he reached out for her. She reached back and they were hugging. He held her, but they both knew this embrace was more for him than it was for her. They stayed like that for a minute, or ten, or longer, Gutter couldn’t tell.

“I know this wasn’t the date that you planned.” Melissa said as she pulled away from him. “Let’s try again tomorrow.”

“I’ll call you… Well, I don’t really have a phone, but I’ll maybe borrow my mom’s…”

Melissa interrupted. “I’ll pick YOU up at 6:00, my car still has a spare.” The light in her eyes had fully returned, and the mischievous grin Gutter loved was back.

“Uh. Okay.” He stammered. Just then, Melissa leaned in and kissed him. The kiss ended before Gutter could wrap his mind around what was happening. His eyes were still open and his head was spinning.

“Whoa!” Was all Gutter could manage.

Like a flash, Melissa pulled the handle and pushed open the door and hopped out of the Corolla. She took two steps, then turned and smiled brilliantly at Gutter. He returned the smile, and stared like a fool after her, even after she had skipped all the way through her front door, closing it gently behind her.

Gutter smiled to himself as he thought: Tomorrow Night is going to be perfect!!