Dinner With Dinah

The aroma of Mom’s famous three beans rice and stewed pork fill the room, and with it, comes a sudden rush of joyous childhood memories. Dad expresses his disappointment with my wife and kids not being able to make it, after I had explained they were visiting their grandmother. He then quickly goes on to insist we hold hands and say grace before we partake in the delicious spread laid out before us. I take a peek through one eye as dad says grace, and see Dinah, my eldest sister, fidgeting nervously in her seat, as my other sister, Anissa, tries to disguise the fact that she’s texting at the dinner table, possibly on the verge of closing another lucrative deal. Mom discreetly signals to us to close our eyes, but dad had been blessing dinner for quite some time now, how much longer could this last I wondered. My stomach began to growl now, and I started to imagine myself taking a piece of pork without anyone looking, but dad finally wrapped up, right before I gave in to my primitive instincts. At last, the time had come, I could finally begin to satiate my unbearable hunger. At the height of my excitement, I was quickly reminded of my father’s unrivalled ability to make one question their life choices, and by extension, their own existence. An endless monologue ensued, centered around his offspring’s apparent desire to suffer eternal damnation. For you see, my siblings and I, have consistently failed to grace the halls of his, or any other church, for that matter, with our presence. He viewed this as an absolute embarrassment, for how could he face his congregation, stressing on the importance of salvation, when he couldn’t even influence his own children. I tried to convince myself that surely, he couldn’t view us all in the same light. I mean after all, I married my high school sweetheart, graduated from med school, and started a wonderful family, and Anissa was an investment mogul, but Dinah on the other hand, was 36 years old and just could not get her life in order. These thoughts quickly vanished from my mind as mom scolded dad for making us uncomfortable, and at that point, my gaze was once again affixed on Dinah, who was uncomfortable even before dad began chastising us.  However, the antsy portrait she painted came as no surprise to Anissa and I. I glanced at Anissa, who glanced back at me with a smile as nervous as can be.

My brother gazed at me, I gazed back at him with a smile I was certain betrayed my anxiety. Dinah’s agitation was affecting me more than I realized. My sister always craved attention growing up, and while both my brother Lance and myself had our respective periods of relentless rebellion and seemingly self-destructive behavior, that period never ended for Dinah. Perpetual depression, fueled by drug and alcohol abuse, and capped off by crippling debt in her later years. Surprisingly however, that wasn’t the worst of it, her greatest ‘talent’ was somehow always getting involved with men riddled with red flags. Married, sociopath, opportunist, degenerate, all fitting adjectives to describe the men that have been in her life, even a combination of all four in one disastrous instance. So, it came as a surprise to everyone, when Dinah insisted on inviting her new fling to dinner, to meet our parents. Nevertheless, thanks to mom’s timely intervention, dad’s infuriating rant had subsided, and we were free to eat. But, how could we? Dinah’s guest was not yet present, a fact that was quickly pointed out by dad, much to Lance’s chagrin, who for some reason, was acting like a man that hadn’t eaten in days. We all agreed to wait a little while longer, as Dinah stared at her watch, then angrily shot up from her seat to make a call. Mom, whose irritation at the fact that the scrumptious meal she labored over for hours was getting cold, began to complain. Dad’s ill-fated attempt to calm her was met with a boisterous rebuttal. Mom got up from the dinner table and stormed toward the kitchen, and began her self-soothing rendition of ‘Why worry when you can pray?’, as she always does when her blood pressure rises. Dad throws his hands up in frustration and slouches in his seat. As I look on at my mother, singing, and pacing up and down the kitchen, at the corner of my eye, I get a glimpse of my brother skillfully taking a few pieces of pork without anyone else noticing. At this point I thought to myself that this dinner might turn into a circus affair, then I thought about when Jack, Dinah’s new suitor joins us, and became convinced that it definitely will. I look down at my phone, which has been vibrating continuously, and see a flurry of messages and notifications. Surely, Jack’s arrival can’t be more important than what I’ve got going on right now, considering Lance and I have already been introduced. My phone begins to ring, I look at the screen and see its an unknown caller, I ignore the call, as I watch Dinah return to the table to take her seat. She gives me a worried look, and I think to myself that maybe Jack isn’t coming.

I return to the table to take my seat and I notice Anissa’s phone vibrating under the table, she stares at her screen with a petrified look on her face then ignores the call. I stare at her worriedly, and she looks back at me with pity, possibly thinking I’m upset about something to do with Jack, when in fact, I’m desperately worried for her. I then looked at my brother, covertly skimping food off the table. I turned my attention to dad slouched on the chair, then to mom singing and humming gospel songs in the kitchen, and felt an overwhelming sadness come over me, as the harsh reality struck me, that they knew absolutely nothing about what’s going on in the lives of their children. However, fortunately, or unfortunately, given my ‘black sheep’ status in the family, my siblings have always found it easier to confide in me, as they convinced themselves no form of judgement could ever escape the lips of someone as damaged as I am. For weeks I had been telling them how much better I’ve been doing ever since Jack came into my life, but they refused to entertain the thought that I, of all people, could ever be in a stable and healthy relationship. I haven’t gotten high since I met Jack, and my drinking, well, my drinking hasn’t stopped completely, but it has reduced significantly. I mean a girl has to live, doesn’t she? The point I’m making, is that I finally felt whole with Jack in my life, and the nervousness I felt for myself earlier, had disappeared. Mainly because I realized how far I’d come, and that compared to my siblings, I had nothing to be ashamed of anymore. As far as my parents knew, Anissa and Lance, aside from their lack of spirituality, were living examples of good parenting. However, what they didn’t know, was that Lance’s wife left him over a month ago, and took the kids with her. My idiot brother, was having an affair with one of the nurses at his hospital. The poor bastard hasn’t had a home cooked meal in weeks. Now Anissa on the other hand, she let her success cloud her judgement, causing her to make a series of risky investments which all went bust. She’s now constantly being bombarded with calls from her bank and other creditors. It seems like only a matter of time before they foreclose on her gigantic house. Surprisingly, dad, who is usually more perceptive, was oblivious to their struggles, of which there were signs at the dinner table. I guess he was more preoccupied with Jack’s impending arrival. My phone vibrates as I get a message from Jack. I quickly alert everyone, and dad sits up, as mom returns to her seat at the table. I get up from the table and head towards the front door, I look back for a few seconds and see bright smiles, filled with excitement on the faces of my parents, who were quite irate only a few minutes ago. Conversely however, my siblings stared at each other nervously, in nail biting suspense. I walk calmly to the door and greet Jack with a kiss. I take her hand and lead her to the dinner table. She greets Lance and Anissa, and I proceed to introduce her to my parents, who seem to be in a state of permanent shock and confusion. I explain to them that Jack’s real name is Jacqueline, which causes my mother to burst into tears, as she belts out another rendition of her self-soothing gospel. Dad stares at us blankly, then turns to Lance and Anissa, vociferously expressing his hurt and disappointment at the fact that they could keep something like this from him. He slams down on the dinner table, and angrily darts out of his chair, holding his head in despair. Mom’s singing, and dad’s yelling prove too much for Jack, as she turns around and prepares to leave. I beg her to stay, but she refuses and almost makes it out the door, until dad yells at her to come back. He puts his palms together, looks up, and whispers something. He lowers his hands and walks toward me and places a hand on my shoulder. He pulls a seat out, and invites Jack to sit next to me. Jack returns to the table and holds my hand as we both take a seat. Dad then calmly walks over to mom, who is still in gospel mode, and firmly holds her hands and stares intensely into her eyes. I have no idea what the hell is happening, but mom has become calm now, and the singing and crying subside. Dad takes his seat and invites everyone to eat. He then proceeds to engage Jack and myself in conversation, explaining his concerns regarding our unorthodox union, given his religious background and upbringing, but also assuring us of him and mom’s willingness to keep an open mind, to ensure my happiness. I see mom smiling and nodding at me in agreement, and I return my biggest and brightest smile. Dad goes on to apologize for his initial reaction, and thanks me for finally being honest with him. This causes both Lance and Anissa to stare at me, with hope in their eyes. Mom lets out a sigh of relief and rejoices at the fact that the surprises are over. I gaze at my siblings and see them both fidgeting anxiously in their seats, which attracts dad’s attention. They both look at me again, this time with smiles on their faces, and I immediately predict what’s to come. It would appear that the former pariah had now become a symbol of hope to her siblings, to always be truthful. But, as Lance removed his wedding ring and gently placed it in the middle of the table, and Anissa retrieved her online bank statement on her phone, I asked myself, if it was possible to have too much truth in one night.