Everthing Except the Wedding

Today wasn’t important because of the holy matrimony of two people. The joining of a union and what have you. Today was important to the staff of the wedding venue because if they played their cards right, their new boss would be fired and their old one, who was much less micromanagey would return. Today was important because the duel of which family was more impressive would be put to an end because by the reception, they’d be one big happy family.

“We have to show everyone else how good our family is. Blah blah blablabla,” the elders had lectured the ten of them cramped in the back for most of the ride.

The airpods blurred out the lecture as Sindhya bopped her head to Kesha and played CandyCrush. The car stopped in front of what looked like a castle and out scrambled only a partial of the bride’s party. The lecture continued in the parking lot as the family matriarch projected her voice more and said, “Make sure you mention your prestigious educations and blahblahblah.”

Straightening out her saree, Sindhya lurked to the back of the group to get some fresh air. “This is just the beginning, my dude. You’ll be able to write a whole thesis on family honor by the end of today,” she said to the valet, still listening to Kesha.

“I don’t mind, really,” he chuckled.

“For your troubles,” she replied, slipping him a twenty. She walked towards a bed of flowers, kneeling to get a closer look.

Ayesha, Sindhya’s favorite cousin, was in the same car ride taking mental notes about what to say and not to say so she could steer clear of today’s social-political landmines. She wasn’t surprised that Sindhya had mysteriously disappeared after they left the car. Once the lecture had ended, it only took a little looking around to spot her kneeling on the ground. “Sindhya, did you hear any of that?”

“Live and let live, my friend,” she declared, brushing off the dirt as she got up. “Today is about love. No worries.”

“That response is what worries me. We’re doing flower arrangements. Let’s go.”

As they entered the castle, their first test of the day approached them with a smug smile. An aunty from the groom’s side in a light pink floral embroidered saree. “Don’t you look wonderful today,” announced Sindhya.

“Thank you. The groom's side is almost done setting up. Looks like the bride is running behind,” she replied, adjusting her heavy, gold necklace as if that added to the weight of her words.

Ayesha started to say, “We were about to--”

Sindhya cut in and said, “Well, chop-chop. Don’t just stand there if more work still needs to be done.”

The aunty’s mouth was agape but she was stunned into silence. Without a word, she turned around and walked off.

Ayesha, also in shock, panickedly whispered, “You can’t say stuff like that. Especially not today.”

“Say stuff like what? She’s the one just standing around.”

“How are we gonna get through today? That was the FIRST person you’ve spoken to.”

“We will live it as we must.”

“Oh no.”

***

Ayesha was concerned as she passed by a group of girls coming out of the makeup room muttering things like, “Who wears their makeup like that”, “How is she not embarrassed”, and “Honestly, she should just shut up”. She sped up her walk and entered to find Sindhya staring down a girl. “You know, I think your makeup looks great. But just one little thing.” She reached over to the girl's forehead and readjusted her bindi. The girl looked offended and replied, “I don’t need makeup tips from YOU.” She got up, looking for the pack that abandoned her. “Freak,” Ayesha heard her mutter as she bumped her shoulder to get past her. “To each their own,” Sindhya called out.

“What happened,” Ayesha asked.

“I was telling them I use lipstick as blush sometimes.”

“Did you talk about anything else,” Ayesha asked, trying to follow the trail of clues.

“I was talking about origami. Let me think. Well, I was talking about how I wouldn’t mind getting married into a Japanese family because then I’d get to wear a saree-kimono hybrid. Wouldn’t that be cool?”

There’s the money, Ayesha thought to herself. “Yeah, that’d be super cool.”

Both girls did their makeup. Ayesha went for a classic glitter eyeshadow with a careful, perfectly done winged eyeliner. Sindhya lined her eyes with kohl and gently tapped her finger on her eyelids to blend her blue ombre eyeshadow.

***

A crowd gathered around as the bride and groom partook in one of the funnest ceremonies of the day. In a gold bowl filled with milk and rose petals, a ring was dropped. Immediately, the couple commenced a competition of who could find it first. Amongst all the commotion, Ayesha felt a tug on her skirt. A little kid had secretly revealed one of the groom’s shoes under his kurta. Immediately understanding, she crouched down and crawled her way to Sindhya in the crowd. Thankfully, she was oblivious to Ayesha using some extra safety pins to hide the shoe in the folds of her skirt. She figured Sindhya’s habit of wandering off would easily make finding the shoe impossible. The crowd cheered as she gave a quick thumbs up to the kid and joined in as if nothing happened. “I totally had my money on the bride,” Sindhya said while the bride victoriously held the ring up. “That’s weird,” she said as she started playing with her skirt.

“What’s up?”

“The skirt feels weird.”

“Why don’t you go to the bathroom? I’ll help you out.” Game, set, match. The groom’s side hadn’t even realized the shoes were missing.

On her journey to the bathroom, Sindhya couldn’t stop fiddling around with her skirt. Why was it so heavy? After one more pat, she bumped into the waitstaff who dropped a stack of plates. Looking around at the pieces of shattered ceramic around her, she immediately delved into a profuse apology. “I’m so sorry. My skirt sucks right now.” The girl who had dropped all the plates looked at her in confusion but quickly realized these kinds of fatal errors would be the exact thing that could help get the new boss fired. With a patient smile, she replied, “It’s no worry at all. I hope you’re okay. I’ll get this cleaned right up.” The woman with the sucky skirt was a blessing in disguise. Upon returning to the crime scene with a broom and dustpan, Sindhya had taken care of the situation by ripping a Montserrat leaf off of the nearest plant, sweeping all the pieces into a single pile.

Seeing her dumbfounded expression, Sindhya started to explain herself. “I felt bad for the mess.” She handed the leaf to the employee and walked away before the girl could respond.

“Well, I’ve never seen someone use a leaf as a broom but you did my job so thanks, I guess,” she said to the empty air in front of her.

The bathroom slipped Sindhya’s mind. She walked up to a pair of aunties giving her stares and fervently whispering. “Do you know the schedule? I feel like I’m forgetting something.”

“We’re not lower class people where we’re the ones cleaning up messes.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“You need to act with more sense. Or people will talk.”

“Great. I’ll tell them I’m talking to two of the most useless people in the world.”

“This is no way to talk to your elders.”

“This is no way to talk to your youngers.”

The aunties gasped. She gasped right back.

The waiter who had overheard him and his fellow employees being called lower class by the two women “accidentally” spilled a pitcher of water on them.

The two women demanded that Sindhya get them towels.

“I’m sorry but I need to act with more sense,” she replied and walked away.

***

Ayesha forgot the groom would need his shoes back. The bride’s side won and the kids received their well-earned money but now, there was a manhunt for the groom’s left slipper. Unfortunately, she failed to track down Sindhya before the four-hour-long wedding ceremony began. She played detective and did rounds but not without getting pulled into random conversations about her life. “Are you still in school?” “You seem like a nice girl. Let me set you up with a handsome doctor.” “You’ll be old soon. You need to get married but if you’re not an engineer, forget about it.” After politely pretending to agree with these intrusive suggestions, she freed herself and went to the lawn to clear her head.

“Don’t be selfish. It’s my turn,” she heard someone faintly yell, coming from the side of the building. Ayesha looked over to see Sindhya arguing with a group of kids about a frisbee.

“Where have you been,” Ayesha yelled across the lawn. She stomped her way towards the group. “I was looking EVERYWHERE for you,” she huffed.

“I got sidetracked. Why are you in a mood?”

“All these people telling me what to do with my life. It’s so-- ugh-- just so rude.”

Sindhya chuckled and said, “They got to you, didn’t they?”

“What does that mean?”

“I counted five Lamborghinis in this parking lot. None of the idiots in there has a Lamborghini. That means AT LEAST five people were dumb enough to rent a Lambo for the weekend. It’s all a show. It doesn’t matter. What really matters,” she said in a soft voice, “is the power of friendship,” and spazzed Ayesha who yelped.

“Ughh. I can’t believe I fell for that.”

Sindhya was sputtering with laughter. She didn’t realize the kids had stolen the frisbee. When she was bent over heaving, Ayesha saw the shoe still pinned to her skirt and let out a laugh of her own.

“Why are you laughing?”

“You’re just super funny .”

***

The girls rushed to the main hall upon realizing there was less than an hour left of the wedding ceremony. They had to at least make an appearance or face dire consequences. As they found some seating, Ayesha was hyperaware of all the stares they were getting and could feel an intense anger coming from two women sitting near the front of the room. She assumed a prayer position like it would be some form of protection and quietly whispered, “Why are those two aunties giving us death glares?”

“They saw me sweep the floor with a leaf.”

“What??”

“It’s fine. I’ll just glare back at them.” Sindhya focused her eyes on the pair and conjured her best angry stare. They muttered at each other like they had encountered the town lunatic and focused back on the ceremony.

“Why are you beefing with the main members of the groom’s party?”

“I didn’t start it!”

“Fine. As long as you don’t get on the groom’s mom’s bad side we’re in the clear.”

***

Ayesha and Sindhya had been separated briefly once everyone was dispersed to eat. Ayesha who had shown excellent behavior throughout the wedding season was given a seat close to the bride’s table. Sindhya was conveniently located where she could make good friends with the bartender. Her boredom had led her to starting conversations that she’d soon regret. After mentioning her newly found interest in crystals, the older man sitting next to her scolded her for falling into such western traditions and that she’ll never find a husband for being too modern. She blanked out about two minutes into his lecture but was woken up again by the smell of food. “Uncle, you should never talk this much to someone about their life choices.” She got up to walk towards the buffet.

The waitstaff were setting up the food as they were greeted by Sindhya. “I’m sorry ma’am, we’re not exactly done setting up yet.”

“No worries. I had to escape a miserable conversation.”

They chuckled. “By all means, you’re welcome to stay.”

“Wonderful,” she replied as she helped them set up the plates.

The girl who dropped the plates from earlier before elbowed her coworker. “That’s the girl,” she hissed. “She swept up the plate with the leaf.”

“Why is she helping us set up?”

“It doesn’t matter. Get Remy in here. If he sees a guest helping set up, he’s gonna fire our dipshit boss.”

“That’s great. And Tom said he spilled water on two women who were tearing into another girl from before. I’m pretty sure they complained about the service.”

Most people are too nervous to be the first one in a buffet line but Sindhya had gotten to it before it even officially opened up. While she absentmindedly helped set up the plates and utensils, Ayesha’s stomach squirmed as people had shot death glares towards her cousin. The group of girls from before were pointing to her and snickering. The two aunties from before had seemed to turn their entire table against her as they all shot her looks of disapproval. Even some random uncle looked at her in disgruntlement. Ayesha groaned as she was realizing how many enemies Sindhya had made today. She groaned even more realizing that Sindhya’s blissful unawareness would make the situation even worse and she had some serious PR damage to do. She never understood how all the looks and criticisms went over her head. Oh, to live Sindhya’s bubble. On the bright side, the waitstaff seemed to have warmed up to her.

The girl who dropped the plates from before greeted Sindhya and thanked her for cleaning up the plates. “I never got the chance to say thank you.” The girl had to keep Sindhya busy enough with conversation to make sure Remy was in the room. Keeping her eye on the door, she forced herself to say anything to slow down Sindhya from completely setting up. “You must be so inventive for using a plant leaf as a broom.”

“Well, it was the first thing I saw. One thing led to another.”

“But I mean, come on. Not everyone thinks like that. You must be so smart. You probably have a PhD or something.” Take the bait. Take the bait.

“You must be psychic. I actually have a PhD in mechanical engineering.” She went on about her thesis. And the girl smiled triumphantly. Once she saw Remy enter the room with his clipboard, she made a show to act as though she simply couldn’t allow Sindhya to do her job for her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him scribble furiously in his notes. “But anyways, that’s why I believe gears are the most important thing in the world. I didn’t mind helping out with the plates, by the way. Sometimes, I need a distraction from thinking all the time.”

“You have done more than enough,” replied the girl, containing her excitement.

***

After everyone had eaten to their heart and stomach’s content, Sindhya and Ayesha silently agreed to get dessert. On their way, they encountered a group of uncles and aunties that had greeted them with disdain. Ayesha, figuring the reason for their sudden silence was their disapproval of Sindhya’s behavior throughout the day filled with inner turmoil. Sindhya, however, not being able to read the room, said, “Geez, if you’re this miserable after eating, I don’t even want to be around you during the reception. Brighten up, people. It’s a day of love,” she said as she did a spin. They all exchanged uncomfortable glances with each other. Ayesha quickly followed and said to the group, “You know, she has a PhD in mechanical engineering. One of the brightest minds in the room.” Their expressions faltered, some of them rethinking their judgments.

After piling their dessert plates, another aunty stared them down. “Girls, you ate so much that you look pregnant. You need to watch your figures more.”

Without skipping a beat, Sindhya replied, “Right back at ya, lady,” and patted her stomach. Ayesha had to hold her breath to stifle her laughter. She looked back to see the woman trying to conceal her anger. Her heart dropped. That was the groom’s mother.

She held Sindhya’s arm in a death grip and pulled her out of sight. “We are in so much trouble. That was the groom’s mom!!” The girl who dropped the plates had been in the vicinity eavesdropping the whole time. She laughed when she saw her pat the woman’s stomach. She had grown a soft spot for Sindhya. She was a gift from wedding guest heaven. And honestly, she could see the people’s how the other guests treated her. In a rare moment of generosity, she sneakily walked past the two girls and whispered, “Go out front to the valet.”

“Huh?”

Exasperatedly, she sighed and said, “Go out front to the valet. I’m not saying it again.”

***

The two girls were waiting out front near the same valet Sindhya had tipped earlier in the morning. After a two-minute heated debate about whether they should miss another ceremony, the image of the groom’s angry mother finalized the decision to skip.

“Hello, miss. I’ve been updated on your situation. And seeing as this is my last day, I see no harm in helping you out when you generously helped out the staff.” He held out the keys to a Lamborghini in her hands. “I suggest you two go before the mob comes.”

“What monumental thing did you do to help the staff?”

“I honestly can’t answer that one.”

Losing patience, the valet said, “Dude, you have no filter. So many of the wedding guests are pissed at you. Get out of here before they smack you around during the reception.”

Ayesha was relieved that she was not the only one who picked up on the social tension. She snatched the keys out of his hand, forcing Sindhya into the car. They were off to anywhere but the castle.