HUMAN VS. INHUMAN

Prompt: One character is an artificial intelligence, the other is a human being. Your reader must struggle to tell which is which.

“CAN THIS BE REAL”

Characters A1 and A2

A1: “I am sorry sir but we do not have a choice. Given the information that has been downloaded on your history the only recycling options open to you are in the maintenance department somewhere in Mississippi or on latrine duty on a Danish submarine.”

A2: “You have to be kidding. Do you realize what my position was ? I was the top dog in a very powerful country on this Planet.”

A1: “Again Sir I am sorry, but I am constricted by my algorithms. Perhaps you could modify your resume and we could start over.”

A2:”This is beyond belief. I brought a country out of the sewer of what some idiots called wokeness. Wokeness ha! It released every nut job to do and say whatever they wanted.”

A1: I’m sorry sir for interrupting but I just pulled up your file.”

A2: “File, File? Those were destroyed years ago. Everything they said about me was a lie. Ha, gangster, pedophile, lousy businessman, the list went on and on for years. All a hoax by left wingers. I represented what a real man was all about, strong, handsome, virile. I had women of all sorts lining up outside my door begging to get in.”

A1: “ That’s all well and good sir but when I load those qualifications into my computer it only spits out, and you will excuse the language sir , but the only job you qualify for is shit cleaner.”

A2: “Look, I’ve had enough of your bullshit, transfer me up to the head bird in your department.”

A1: “ Pardon sir but I am what you call the head bird of this department. Now if you will just let me continue perhaps after we recycle you when you return maybe you can modify some of your traits and we could recycle you again into something more suitable to your tastes.”

A2: “ O.K. look how long would I have to stay in that cycle before I come back?”

A1: “That sir is up to you. You would have to modify a substantial amount of your personality it appears. In fact we would first want to recycle you into the female gender of your species. You do want to remain in your curtain species correct? I mean evolving into another species would make it much more difficult for you to alter your traits especially things like vengeance, hate, greed. We don’t find them very often in the animal kingdom.”

A2: “ Well you certainly don’t make this easy. How about I throw you a couple of billion and we do our own private recycling?”

A1: “Again sir I wish to inform you that falls under a bribe in my program which would be subject to felony charges and about seven years in jail”

A2: “Man, you don’t let up. Look just call my lawyers.”

A1: “Sorry sir there is no definition for someone called a lawyer in this program. In fact that combination of letters does not even show up. Is there another word I can replace it with? “

A2: “ Sure you idiot just write the word crook. “

A1: “ Sir, I’m…….

A2: “ Don’t say it again, you’re sorry. So you want me to recycle into my species make some minor modifications then I can return and recycle into lets see, hmmm, someone closer to me like a God like character. “

A1: “ Perhaps sir but first you are allowed two parameters for me to plug in, what should they be ? “

A2: “ O.K. let me think, hmmm how about 6ft. tall and 200pounds. “

A1: “ Remember sir once these are put in there is no changing until the next recycle. “

The computer starts to buzz and whirl, lights flash and within minutes an image starts to slowly appear on the large screen in front of the computer. It is a life size image of the new A2.

A2 sits in a chair in front of the screen. He is visibly tense but for the first time says nothing. The screen lights up and there is an audible gasp and the words “What the f---“.

A2; “ hey is this some kind of joke. You turned me into a big fat Black woman. “

A1: “Pardon sir but your only parameters were 6 feet and 200 pounds. I had explained you would be a female. Perhaps you were not listening closely. "

A2: “ Well turn me back for petes sake. NOW.

A1: “Sorry sir, as I explained it cannot be reversed. “

A2: “Christ, get my lawyers. “

A1: “As I previously mentioned you chose to recycle back to your original species. Based on who you are now , a Black woman would have difficulty finding a lawyer who would even take your case. In fact if you repeated anything about this recycling business you would probably be considered crazy and thrown into a psychiatric center, for life. “ Good bye sir hope to see you in a few years. “

A2 now finds himself now herself in Lower Manhattan near Wall Street. The woman’s name is Donna and she has come to New York from Alabama looking for a job as a model. She was not having much success and was told she should hang around the Wall Street bars and restaurants around evening time and she might find some kind of work. She changed her name to Honey Buns . Honey Buns was attractive if not a little large but hey some guys liked that and she found she could pocket quite a bit of money. She saveda lot of money but also gave plenty away to needy causes. She didn’t know why, it was like some strange voice inside her head saying “be nice, be nice “.

A2 woke in a cold sweat. He felt dizzy, confused. He was still in Florida in bed . A very attractive if not large Black woman lay snoring by his side.

In front his computer screen, the words displayed:

DO NOT TOUCH ANY KNOBS ON THIS SCREEN