The City is Ours

That's the thing about this city, it makes sure to remind you of every painful and beautiful memory you have to leave behind. The community that lives here doesn't seem like much yet has such a strong, huge impact on your life. If I would have known that I don't think I would ever leave because this was the only place I could call my home. The only place I ever actually belonged; where I was happy for once. See most people feel out of place because they do not know anyone in their new neighborhood, but I know I don't belong because I don't know anyone and I know this place is different from the rest. I can usually fake a smile and just blend in at any area, but here I just show the real me. All the hurt, vulnerability, the anger isn't hidden inside. It's visible because I am tired of this front acting like I am okay like feeling out of place is normal when it really isn't. No one should feel this empty and out of place anywhere so for me to finally free like I have a chance here says a lot. This city holds so much more than just buildings, people, school and a skate park. It has my dreams, friends, new beginnings, the one I loved and lost. Most importantly holds the beginning of my own little family. Never did I expect to meet the one man that was going to change everything. He was in my choir class sitting in the corner while I goofed off dancing and singing my heart away. Just one smile. That made my stomach get filled with butterflies and gave me the confidence to walk up to you to start a friendship. We started as friends that would talk every chance we get to best friends singing Phora together. You were there from the beginning from when I had this huge crush on you to when I was crying over family issues. When I had my first singing solo he smiled at me while I was performing Like I'm Gonna to Lose You by Megan Trainor feat John Legend. When those lyrics came out I felt every note and was actually singing to you. The spotlight hits me while I walk across the stage singing my soul into the microphone. I bet he doesn't know that to this day, I fell in love with him even while we were friends. I open my eyes slowly as that memory fades away, I lay my eyes on the skate park and let my mind wonder. The last time I skated I fell in his arms while we chased the stars along with our dreams. He promised me that he will love me and that this city will forever be ours. Why would he promise something so big and silly if he didn't mean it? He wouldn't. Falling in love and making all these memories is not just any story. This is us. This is our story that's so raw and passionate that leaves tingles in my spine while my heart aches for him. For his love, his touch, just for him. That day you took a part of my heart and soul. The pain was gone like someone left my heart shattered and he picked up the pieces, fixed it all over again and made sure that everything will be okay. This bond we had connected us closer than before. These memories just come in and play like a song from a playlist then slowly go away while the tears slowly roll down. I never want to leave this city because this is our city. Every place in this city has some memory, whether it's big or small. This is our sacred place, this our home and I can't imagine it without you. There was this piece missing my life and I was falling into some of my darkest moments. I wanted to lose myself and felt like I deserved the pain that was brought upon me. Once he came into my life there was this part of me that I never knew existed. A part of me that just wanted to stop faking a smile and stop the suffering. Where I finally became free from the prison of abandonment issues and genuinely wanted affection. My guard was finally down as I let him in and shared every single part of my soul. There is one spot in this huge city that is more important than any place we ever been and that would be our high school. Yes. The place where I saw his handsome shy self hide in the corner of choir class. The place where we shared our first kiss under a tree outside the library as he poured feelings to me. Where I saw him in your graduation cap and gown with a diploma in his hand, filled with pride and joy for him. He made it through this crazy place called High School and never gave up on the life he wanted. Seeing his smile was worth it all because if he can accomplish high school I know that man is capable of keeping his promise.Usually men always promise at least one thing that is so memorable and his promise was that the city is ours. I honestly don't think in any way that he lied because every memory I have with him, every laugh & smile even the heartbreak stays there. I can´t hold this thing we call the past with me everywhere so it is better left off in the place where it actually began. I know he does not live there anymore because well he is in the military now, and I have his daughter. She has his dimples and his personality, I wouldn't change even if I had a chance. No one can take away the city he promised is ours because our life, family, promises, love and memories are here. The city is ours always and forever.