short lived

Never in my wildest dream did I ever think of loosing him. Sam that was his name. He was handsome from the depth of his eyes to the gentle expressions of his voice. He was handsome from his generous opinions to the touch of his hand upon my own. I loved the way his voice quickened when he sparkled with a new idea, or was so enjoying one of mine that he lost himself for a moment and quite forgot the mask he wore for others. So I gave him my heart and kept his safe, that's the way it was. he was all I could think of all day and night I used to long for him all the time. I really cant get enough words to describe Sam he was close to perfect, to me he was perfect.

No one feature makes him so handsome, though his eyes come close. People often speak of the color of eyes, as if that were of importance, yet his would be beautiful in any shade. From them comes an intensity, an honesty, a gentleness. Perhaps this is what is meant by a gentleman, not one of weakness or trite politeness, but one of great spirit and noble ways. What he is, what is beautiful about him, comes from deep within; he made me want to feel how his lips move anytime we got closer , I yearned for how his hands follow the curves of my body. As each time passes the lines will deepen upon his face, he will be more handsome still, as if his soul shines through his skin. he was everything I ever wanted in a man.

Sam and I met at our workplace calltronix(where I was employed as a customer service agent) he was already working there when I got employed. meting him at workplace never gave me any impression that we will ever fall in love or go out together for one reason or another. I had just recovered from a toxic relationship that I got myself entangled to( usually I call that kind of relationship entanglement) so falling in love was out of question for me. all my life I have always wanted something that doesn't exist "happy ever after". when I met Sam I thought there is where Cinderella had found his prince charming, Ooh! my bad I really that I had gotten my prince charming just like the fairy tales. Time really flew so fast and in in no time our so called "friendship" hade developed and flourished into love. falling in love was best thing that ever happened to me that season. having him in my life made me extremely happy it was a beautiful dream that I never wanted to ever wake up from.

our relationship was going on well, our love grew and developed into something beautiful, something that seemed to last, unfortunately it never lasted it was just a fantasy that never lasted.

It was one fateful evening that I came back home from work feeling exhausted and happy at the same time coz I was having a chit chat with my colleagues and friends. Usually I get excited and happy when I see him that still remained the same thing got creepy when we started having a conversation and he wanted to break up with me, that got me confused for a while because our relationship we never had any fights or serious reason to break up, I was just getting to know him and he was breaking up with me already. He had the kind of face that stopped me in his tracks. I guess he must get used to that, the sudden pause in a person's natural expression when they looked his way followed by overcompensating with a nonchalant gaze and a weak smile. Of course the blush that accompanied it was a dead give-away. It didn't help that he was so modest with it, Despite all the opportunity that came his way he was a one-woman-man who prized genuineness and thoughtful conversation above everything He was right but deep down I still hurt badly coz I genuinely don't know the reason why he left.

Mostly with my broken heart I am calm; on those days my spirit home is a gentle river. I flow, create peace, bring harmony. When I feel completely safe I show my spirit animal - the rabbit who comes to play, my underneath personality whom few have ever seen. I laugh freely, become soft, playful, hopeful. I wish I could be like that more often, it would be so nice. Yet in life there are challengers, those who find such happiness an affront to their inner misery. They live with hearts of envy and malice, wound from spite, project their negativity onto others, seek to control, exert power. When attack comes, should there be no defender, I channel the lioness. I roar, stand my ground, defend self and others. Afterward, in private, I am shaken, drained, wishing to run to a dark hole and hide. I know myself. I am proud of who I am; I like the person I became and I think the child version of me would too. I am the same girl, living to love, here to make a difference. Humanity is a role-modelling mammal. We learn most by observe, imitate, practice, master. As such character comes so much from what we observe in others. This we can change with our own choices. Who should our role models be? What do we want to see? Who do we want to be more similar to? Whom do we respect the most? these are still the same questions that run in my mind daily. my life as a simple lady is easy clear and precise it is so small that it can fit in a box just like Dorothy in the fairytales however today Dorothy doesn't want to to play, no tornado will easily move me to another situationship ,I will still keep on wishing for something that doesn't exist" happy ever after".

THE END.